Wasting time  

rm_I_NV_Satiety 48F
206 posts
8/24/2006 9:04 pm

Last Read:
8/1/2011 11:49 pm

Wasting time

I wish I could just walk away. He keeps interrupting my thoughts and actions. He's present every moment of the day. If I have a moment that is not filled with something trivial, my heart will burn with the pain of not being enough.

I wish I could hide all the damage that I've done to myself in caring too much for someone that seemed to see me as some kind of cosmic joke, but try as I might, it is ever present.

I just wish he would have told me that from the beginning. It's so much easier to be something you're not than to be yourself and expose yourself to ridicule.

The thing that stings the worst is the fact that thoughts of me don't take up even a moment of his time.

It just confirms his view of me.

pierd 52M
222 posts
8/24/2006 11:47 pm

"It just confirms his view of me..."

.. which, as you have already realized, is neither the true you nor what others, including us here, know you to be.

Growth takes time. You've got the growing pains. They'll pass. You'll blossom.


more on my blog, http://AdultFriendFinder.com/blog/pierd

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
8/25/2006 12:55 am

ok, here's the trick .... think up some very silly joke or rhyme you know, and whenever u catch yourself thinking of him, substitute the joke or rhyme ... that way you get away from the masochistic tendency to go towards your emotional pain and get to laugh instead (and i'm not judging your masochistic tendency; i do it myself).

>>>hugz again<<<

[blog freelove999]

PrincessKarma 44F
6188 posts
8/25/2006 8:21 am

Shame on you, Baroness Nonsuch-Thang... instead on believing his "view of you" (which is in fact your view of yourself), concentrate on changing how YOU see YOURSELF.

*THWAP* That's for not doing your exercises in front of the mirror... now repeat after me:

The Baroness deserves better.
I_NV_Satiety deserves better.
I deserve better

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

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