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Blogs > ICDeadPeople2 > Ghost Writer in Disguise

I am Mostest Honored to Know You  

ICDeadPeople2 60M
2459 posts
1/31/2011 3:25 pm
I am Mostest Honored to Know You
Ooops..

I was visiting a blog, I shall not<b> </font></b>this one because of the "personal" subject matter of the post, and it kicked my brain in gear. I am quaffing codeine so my brain being in gear is probably not a good thing.

I have no idea what I am even doing typing this.... whatever this is I am typing right now.

The post was about this persons friends Mom passing away. About how the friend asked her to be there with her.... and a lot more of the personal stuff about dates and death and loss and need....

Something really struck me when trying to figure out a comment to leave. A lot of times when I cannot think of a quick response I just nod to the blog owner and move along. This time I knew I should leave a comment so I pondered it...

We have all been here, not knowing what to say.... not knowing if what we do say is sincere or just words....

I could have left a comment like.. "I am so sorry"... But is there really anything to that comment? To me it's like apologizing that someone died only why would I apologize that XXXX passed away if I did not kill them??? Really no sincerity there...

"I know how you feel"..(then post example)... Sure I know how she feels because I HAVE been in her shoes but is there any comfort for her just because someone else has been there?

While thinking all the thoughts about the above comments I was re-reading the post. Then it hit me.

The person who made the sacrifice they made for their friend. The person who has to live with all her emotions while consoling another.... She is just an asset to humanity... She is an unselfish person who is strong enough to be there without anything in it for her own sanity. She is a rarity. She is an angel.

I know some of my readers will visit her post and some of you will know exactly whom I am talking about. If you are one of the ones who can put 2 + 2 together I just want you to look at her. She exemplifies everything still good about humanity.

In honor of her I ask that you perform one good deed in the near future. One unselfish good deed with even a thought of "Whats in it for me"...

Codeine and Joseph signing out for now.




I picked this image because the Angel I am referring to here is surely going to have to do a lot to hold herself together, to be the strength for another.





I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

RAInBow
rm_kelidgh 61F
15971 posts
1/31/2011 3:38 pm

 I suffer from the same quandary of words .. all I can do is send hugs and offer a shoulder...

sometimes even though it feels rather insignificant to us as commenters, we are providing a sense of caring. And, I know that for me - that means more than words can express.

As for the one who posted - she is more than worthy of several unselfish acts ....



~ [blog kelidgh]~ I am, indeed


ICDeadPeople2 replies on 1/31/2011 4:17 pm:
I guess this is just the first time the I PERSONALLY witnessed her as more than just a fun person to blog around with. It really hit me again that the real people on here can be so fucking real... Hmmm Me thinks that is another whole blog post in itself....

Dr_Jeuss 60M
Ask me for a photo

1/31/2011 3:48 pm

 Great Post! Great Request...and not that it applies to this situation...I recently had an online friend go through a bit of bereavement that I can not feel for her. I have not experienced and I was struggling with what to say. An emoticon sux...not personal enough and then anything I did think about saying that was personal, I was afraid would be off the mark...When I finally went to post it...I scrolled down to the bottom of her post....she made it a 'read only'...I could have crawled through the computer and kissed her!
R.
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~Friedrich Nietzsche


ICDeadPeople2 replies on 1/31/2011 4:19 pm:
It is hard sometimes because a look of compassion can take 1000's of words to express. In serious times I normally speak little because I do not do serious well.

LadyUnlaced 49F
34177 posts
1/31/2011 3:56 pm

 I believe I read the same post and I struggled with what to say as well. But in situations like this, I feel that showing your support no matter how bumbly and ineloquent is better than silence. I'm so very lucky to have both of my parents still alive and relatively healthy but I know someday I will have to face losing them. And even though we are not close either emotionally or geographically, it's still going to be a very difficult thing. To be healing yourself while helping someone else to process and move forward speaks volumes about this blogger's character and heart
Free your mind. Open your heart. Move a mountain. An Open Book...

***


ICDeadPeople2 replies on 1/31/2011 4:23 pm:
A wink, a hug, a sorry.... All of these actions show support and I was not condemning them for everyone. I just condemn them for me because when I see another human hurting, I want to console them honestly not falsely. And for ME to try to convey in words what I honestly feel in that type situation is almost impossible. You know me. I do not do "Deep". I try to lift the spirit. When no simple word or joke will lift the spirit then I am fucked.

citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
1/31/2011 4:00 pm

 I think it's a lot harder to know what to say in that situation, especially when you have been following that persons blog for some time.


ICDeadPeople2 replies on 1/31/2011 4:25 pm:
One good thing I love about HiJack Tuesdays... You get more of a glimpse into a person's person. You can easily pick out a person's nature in the course of several comments that are spur of the moment moreso than you can reading their blog. Blog writing allows time for someone to "choose their words and create themselves" more so than real time commenting.

_King_Cobb_ 61M
25441 posts
1/31/2011 4:54 pm

 I was on Darvocet ( synthetic codiene substitute? ) for about a week once due to complications due to shoddy wisdom teeth removal.

I wasn't normally on the best terms with my exGF's dog becuase that dog was so jealous of me for usurping his postion of wanting this girl all for himself.

I mean I was never cruel to the animal or anything but I had been quite guilty of "minor forms of teasing" and such.

But once I was mildly looped on Darvocet and in that state that dog was suddenly my best friend.

I don't think that opiate use on a mass scale would actually work to make the world a friendlier place but it sure temporarily improved relations between my ExGF's dog and I.

I would also agree that often through standard blog activity you still don't often get a good grip on what's really going on inside peoples heads. I think the way some people blog it can actually act as a screen for that!

But highjack Tuesdays really are good for getting a much broader perspective on someone than their blog commonly illustrates.

I also like that you came back to blogland right when I was being jacked and at that point you complained that you thought the jacking was just a bunch of random spam.

It's cool that you didn't just keep that frame of mind about it. You might sort of look like a crotchety "old guy" who's set in your backwoods ways but you're actually not.

insert exploding bomb image here


SolarPowered0 118M
8346 posts
1/31/2011 4:59 pm
Joe...

"...One unselfish good deed with[out] even a thought of "Whats in it for me"..."

Well, I show up every time you post a BLOG entry; and there ain't a freakin' thing in it for me--every time.

Seriously... I think most people don't truly expect to be consoled. Their making those personal issues known, publicly, is more a way of venting emotions. And our condolences are not so much accepted as comfort but as acknowledgment of the emoting. No one ever felt better when being consoled--neither the one in pain nor the one who may be relatively unscathed by the circumstances. It's just a matter of respect and civility. So, don't worry about it. Just do what you feel ain't a bunch of dog-jive.

We ain't animals, Joe... or we'd all be consoled by simply sniffin' each other's butt. Of course, in your case, I know that someone has to keep some sorta tabs on you--it's a dirty job, too... what with all the barf... and turds... and other assorted burrito expulsions. But here I am--yet again.

Ya know, though... now that I think about it, I suppose that IS kinda like sniffin' yer butt--ain't it? (be advised: I mean that in a very non-gay, though perhaps animal-like way.)

Solar...


TnWitchyWoman 63F
6843 posts
1/31/2011 5:12 pm

 I can share some things I've learned. This is just my thoughts from my experiences, I'm sure others will vary.

I lost my mom 8/23/01. I was very close to her, she died of congestive heart failure. It wasn't a long illness, but not unexpected either. I lost what may be the closest thing I can imagine to a soul mate, Dave, on 1/31//06. He had a heart attack, while in an "intimate" moment with me. He was only 36, and in much better physical health than myself...or so we thought. He was too young, it was unexpected, and in a tough situation to deal with. I still face all the woulda, coulda, shoulda's of our relationship. Then I lost my dad on 1/30/07. Almost a year to the day of Dave's passing. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer but he was still given a high quality 6 months and expected to deteriorate from there. But he went into a patient care clinic to get his pain medication situated so that he could have that quality time. There he went into withdrawal from alcohol, something all of the family had denied because we didn't want to admit our father was a high functioning alcoholic all those years. Withdrawal is hard on a young healthy person, it was horrid on my father since he was old and already weak and while he walked into the hospital on his own two feet smiling, he never recovered his senses and never left the hospital.

Now well meaning people would say "I know the feeling." No, you don't. As I've shown each death is a different experience with different emotions, a different level of loss. I miss my mother, but she had lead a long, relatively happy life and she was suffering. It was time for her to go...didn't make that easy on me, but I did my best to understand.

With Dave I heard "Time heals all wounds." No, it doesn't. At least I know I'm still gaping after 5 years. What does happen is you have a decision to make, you either choose to die yourself or you figure out how to live with this horrid gaping wound. Some days I'm better at it than others.

With my dad I didn't shed a tear just ended up feeling guilty then pissed off. I'm still pissed off. I loved him because he was my father, and he's the only one I'll ever have, but the emotional damage he did while alive AND in his death just makes me want to abuse a corpse.

I also hate those phrases like "they're in a better place", "you have to move on" or the shallow offerings of "if you need anything...". If you know they need something, do it. Pick up the kid from school, bring food, pick up clothes from the cleaners, or pick up the yard or house if you know they'll be having company come. Sometimes it's just their normal routine that suffers the most and could use your help. The best things, the VERY best thing, that my friends did for me was just come sit beside me, hold my hand, don't make me talk if I don't want to...I'll let you know if I do. If I do want to talk...just listen. Comments really aren't necessary. I may not want company but I don't want to feel alone either. That just requires a hand holding by a warm body.

Witchy
.


PurplePeach72 51F
9194 posts
1/31/2011 5:20 pm

 I don't do math well, so I have no clue who you are talking about but I will do my random act of kindness in her honor. Send me some cock soup dammit I'm still feeling like shit! Going to bed early, acts of kindness will wait til tomorrow.
Kisses,
LeeAnn
Kisses,
LA


peekabooicu2ucme 46F
4530 posts
1/31/2011 7:34 pm

 I tend to find that any response that is positive is appreciated.
Come visit me too peekabooicu2ucme


rm__Safira 61F
11258 posts
2/1/2011 11:09 am

 *love, hugs, prayers, & strength to All who need them*
This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
2/1/2011 12:31 pm

 consider it done.
You cannot conceive the many without the one.


japaneseass 56F  
50231 posts
2/1/2011 7:22 pm

 performing one good deed

yeah..i often wonder about this...if every person in this world would do that, without expecting any benefit for themselves...no payback at all...but yet, if you are gonna spread a little tiny seed of good deed...this place would be whole lot brighter...

and the same principle applies to blogland...

and i am in...hugs...


ElizabethBlonde2 48F  
4476 posts
2/3/2011 6:25 am

 Thank You for writing this..
What Gag Reflex? I am A Cum Guzzler!


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