The Proposition....  

HotTXpussy4U 49F
2177 posts
12/9/2005 2:53 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Proposition....


We've been sitting here talking about all that was going on in my life recently. He's been a good friend over the past 5 years and I trust his judgment and opinions on life.

We talk about how even though we've known each, we don't really know each other - the other people we are when we are not at work. Probably him more than I - since I tend to talk about everything to everybody.

As we talk, and he takes a few phone calls here and there, I catch him looking at me. You know - with that "look" - I wonder, what is he thinking? Why would he be looking at ME like that. We continue to talk - while I am packing to go home for a few days to deal with my hell. He watches me move around the room - I show him pics of tattoo's I am considering for my next one - maybe I shouldn't have shown him that, they are a bit on the risque side and he is a man! LOL

Maybe that's what put the thoughts in his head...maybe he's been thinking about it all these years. He's not "available" I never even considered that. As he stood to leave, I gave him a hug (as I've done a million times before)..but this time he held on..for a little longer, a little tighter. It felt good and a little weird.

So then the proposition came.. He tells me all these years he's wanted to be together..but he didn't think I could handle, because I'm always expecting so much out of men (very true). So he never acted on it and never hinted - at least that I managed to notice. He thinks that after this ordeal I've been through, that maybe I'm finally ready - - to be with someone, to just be with them. Enjoy the time together for some no strings fun. He told me to think about it and when I got back...we would talk.

SO - now I'm back and a nervous wreck about it. Not because of the no strings fun - actually that I am READY for..but because I can't imagine someone I've known for years..seeing me at my most vulnerable. I don't want to disappoint him - what if I don't live up to all the thoughts he had about me all those years.

Don't get me wrong - - he's a HOT man... but what if it's even worse - and he doesn't live up to mine? I still have to see him from time to time - due to our occupations. I'm sure I would be okay - it's not my first rodeo - just my first ride with someone who has been a friend for so long.

Things have been hectic since my return - but I did get an email from him that he would catch up with me this weekend - - I don't whether to open the door and let him in...or hide under my covers. I'm both excited and cautious.

Guess if I'm not sure - -- then that answers my own question. But DAMN - hate to pass up a good thing!!!

Dallas_Male_35 48M
255 posts
12/9/2005 5:31 pm

Sometimes, the best intimacy comes after being friends with someone for so long. You know eachother. You trust eachother. It's almost perfect. You just have to be careful. When you know someone that well, it may be hard to to want more, or even to prevent yourself from falling in love. Sex is good. Sex with someone you know so well is better.

I can't tell you what to do. I can't even tell you what I would do. You have to decide on your own.

He would be a lucky man. That's all I will say.

HotTXpussy4U 49F

12/9/2005 8:28 pm

I've always tried to live my life with the "no regrets" theory. If anything I chalk those up to learning experiences.

So I wonder - would I look back in 10 years and think "Why did I pass that up, wonder what it would have been like, what he would have been like...."

Or would I think "I used to have a good friend..but then we had sex and that was the end of that"

In the end - as life moves on and jobs and careers change - - in 10 years, we probably won't have any contact...

I just don't know if I can do the F.B thing...if it's not something I thought of first. Damn, I don't even know if it's fair for me to say that - maybe I'm just past that point in my life...I just don't want to be a booty call.

Hell - I don't know what I want.....and until I figure it out - - looks like it's just me and my toys.

Thx Dallas Male - - your too sweet!!

gnr8nrg 47M

12/9/2005 11:44 pm

HotTX I've had sex with long time friends and that wasn't what ended the friendship. It was one becoming more attached and not just staying friends. I've got even more regrets from the times Ive said no, but oh well. A good saying is " Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did do,' Mark Twain. I have it posted on my door as I walk out of my room. However it's easier to read it than to live it. Good luck and have fun, it's your life.

HotTXpussy4U 49F

12/10/2005 9:02 am

gnr8nrg - I am SO glad you are back (have I told you that enough?

Mark Twain was a wise man....and I believe that quote. I guess it's kind of like the: "WTF theory". We only live least I think so.... ha ha

I'm just gonna see how things you know - I've had about a billion thoughts on this subject - I forsee a PART 2 being written this morning....

Hugs and Kisses all over - HotTx

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