AFF Members and a Deck of Cards  

HotLilSouthAngel 49F
232 posts
11/12/2005 9:37 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

AFF Members and a Deck of Cards

Hi Everyone,

As I sat and read all my emails today in AdultFriendFinder, I came to a conclusion, AdultFriendFinder members and their emails are similar to a deck of cards. Most women here probably get several emails a day from potential male suitors. I am unaware of what prescreening methods they have in order to determine how to handle emails they receive but I as with everything have my method.

First, the subject line - Lets evaluate different scenerios. A messenger screenname in the subject line gets an instant delete without even opening the email. Cock size, "wanna meet" lines or "Ill be in town" lines also get the fingered response of delete. (Hmmm maybe fingered was not the correct wording here.)

Once it has been determined an email is acceptable for viewing, I open the email. If the first question is "Can we meet?". You get a delete without further wasting my time. Other similar lines that cause me to stop in my reading tracks and give a hurried delete would be "Do you like my pics" (which 99.9% - to infinity of the time are cock pics), what they would like to do to me (not appropriate on an initial email) or anything with similar B.S. in the email.

I do admire persistance. Its flattering and will occassionally get a response if the persistance is appropriate and not stalking. There is a fine line.

You see, I put considerable thought into my profile and I hoped to spell out and answer many questions someone might have with the profile entries. Im not up for the quick meet and greet in the sexual way. Its not me, never will be and frankly I dont have time for it. (Also spelled out in my profile is my time restraints). However, I continue to get emails of which I am bambuzzeled. Can the emailer not read, were they distracted and unable to read my profile? Is it too long? Maybe I should reconsider my wording in order to help male suitors understand more about me or what I seek in my profile? Im just unsure. But........all the emails I receive made me decide to classify emails in my screening method. It helps.

So I have used the following classifications and am using a deck of cards for reference. I think most can relate to and know what a deck of cards are.

First we have the 2-10 category. These are the shy, introverted men, potentially nice, unsure what to say, and most likely the guys in high school that were awkward around females. Sometimes they get a response, most the time they dont. Generally speaking, these men will find me overwhelming. So to avoid potential awkward situations for both of us, I rarely respond to these gentlemen but do hope they find what they seek.

Secondly, we have the Aces. Now they have subclassifications within their ranking. You have the Ace of Spades, the ultimate Ace. This is the emailer that wants instant gratification, is outgoing and an extrovert from what can be determined by their email. Generally pushy, and will "Spade" you in the email back if you decline them. The Ace of Clubs is what I call the cavemen. Their emails should simply state, "Me man, you woman". These drive me crazy and cause me to think of a man with a club in his hand. Now, next is the Ace of Hearts. The sweet talker, They sometimes try the sypmpaty route. Always appealing to the heart. Saying what they think a woman would want to hear in order to immediately meet and greet the male "member" so to speak. Finally, we have the Ace of Diamonds. The emailer that promises the world, trips, tells you what they own and how wealthy they are. Sure, we can only wish these emails were true, then we could shop daily.

Next comes the Kings. Somtimes the kings are good. Thus why they reign as king. They seem sincere. Are not overly pushy, tell you a little but not to much about themselves and have a more realistic approach. These are my preferred emails and normally get a short sweet response so I can determine with ongoing email dialog if they are truly a king or another deck member in disguise.

Lets not forget the Queens. Ohhh the dreaded drama queens. They emailer that needs to release upon you in email format all the drama in their lives. To these, I always respond politely referencing my profile to explain I DO NOT seek drama. To these, again I further wish success but success without me involved. I have no time for drama.

Ahhh and the ones that are the most frequent, the Jacks. Otherwise known as the JACKers. The guys simply wanting instant gratification. They think you will drop everything you are doing and meet, drop your pants or raise your skirt and go at it. These guys can be by far the most annoying. They ask you to meet immediately for what will clearly be an expectation of sex. They invite you to literally watch them gratify themselves on webcam or send a pic of them at the crucial point of gratification. NEVER will they get a response. I do wish them success with their hand, whether it be the right or the left and I hope they dont have carpal tunnel syndrome. For that could cause complications in what they seek.

Last but not least we have the Jokers. This classification is a catch all. The ones you just want to respond to and say....."You must be joking". They are the ones that are just so unrealistic you cant even believe and comprehend what your eyes are seeing. Normally these require you to read the email twice (wasting double your time) so that you can absorb what was written. These emails are so funny you just want to post them for everyones viewing, but being a "southern belle" it just is not appropriate. Again, NEVER do these get a reply.

I have often wondered if we should start an email class for people. Explaining what to write to get the best response from the reciepient. Unfortunately, Im not sure anyone would attend. Maybe even a 12 step program to ween them from their previous unacceptable email habits. Or even, create a job for someone to become my pre-screener. Im not sure, but I am sure that most all emails can be classified in the above categories. Oh well, still I continue on, in the search for Utopia. Emails being a necessary evil in the pursuit.

Keep it bent south,


cuddlykittenn 43F

11/12/2005 10:48 am

right on sista... couldn't have said it better myself.

zorgnot2 61M

11/12/2005 10:51 am

An attractive woman would have a deck to classify.
Most other women would have somewhat less than a full deck, perhaps slanted away from face cards :-\
I daresay decent men have a couple of mixed cards.
Jerks should open the box and first pull out the rules.

You did a great job explaining what has been on my mind, at least. Thanks.

rm_luke69iner 49M
3275 posts
11/12/2005 11:04 am

I was wondering why you never returned my emails Lil.

Kidding of course

Besides I'm the directions card Lil ... Hmmn I'm not sure where else to go with that but if you think of something witty I'll take credit.

Men don't like to ask for directions women do ... yeah I got nuthin'

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

shafter36 59M

11/12/2005 1:30 pm

As usual Angel, you've crystalized my thoughts eloquently. The great part is it, it applies to both (or is it all 3?) genders!

mm6342 55M
199 posts
11/13/2005 8:52 am

I think it is the same as approaching a Female in a bar . not all of us think with our Dicks . some all be it few of us just try to be nice. And if things work out they do if not move on life id to short . < and so am i > lol

shafter36 59M

11/13/2005 12:41 pm

I beleive ATLnooner should think less about making rash generalizations regarding demographic groups, rather he should concentrate more on his obviously astute knowledge of lifes experiences. His blogging advice seems intelligent, experienced and of value. Utilize your strengths to gain respect, but refrain from judging entire genders while pandering to web-mates for attention.

I know of few "knuckledraggers", yet those that I am aware of, represent both genders. His blatantly pandering second paragraph above, really irks me because of it's an obviously sophmoric attempt at placing himself above his "bretheren". Nice try at a disclaimer, Nooner, but if I may lower myself to generalizing, most men aren't buying it.

I offer that ATLnooner was not "snaked by a newbie". On the other hand, he had nothing to do with the fact that Hotlilsouthangel is simply smart, witty and creative. Instead "nooner" chooses not to recognize her abilities by suggesting that she beat him to the punch.

I'll apologize now for any blog etiquette breaches I may have committed. Forgive me as I drag my knuckles across the keyboard of life while trying to keep up with contemporary means of communication.



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