I have to admit something.........  

HeartlessBitch69 48F
6876 posts
6/16/2006 8:47 pm

Last Read:
6/18/2006 3:05 am

I have to admit something.........

I do have a heart sometimes.

And it is for the people I care for at work. I posted a blog sometime back I found a 97 year old ME

The woman I spoke of in this blog is dieing.

I see her family when I come into work and talk to them and they tell me how relieved they are to see me come in and know I am the one taking care of her. They are nervous about the weekends cause I am not going to be there, and they know how protective I am of her, and I see to it that she is well taken care of. I can see the tears in her brothers eyes when he talks to me and it just tears me up inside.

Her sister inlaw tells me she is totally out of it until she hears my voice then she perks up and responds. That made me feel good.

But, this is breaking my heart! This is the one part of my job that is the hardest.

On one hand I hope I am not there when she dies, and on the other hand I want to be the one there for her to hold her hand when she leaves me.

I just hope she does not have to suffer long.

I got the call and she has passed away Saturday June 17th.


sexymamma662003 32F

6/16/2006 9:50 pm

i too hope she doesnt suffer.
that is what sucks about being in the health care field is that you can get so easily attached to others. it is a good thing though becouse it shows you care and are in the right field.


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
6/16/2006 9:53 pm

Awwwww sweetie! Thats what makes you a good nurse. You truly care about your patients. And they can sense that too no matter what their state of consciousness is. It is the hardest part of the job....but it is also a part you can be proud of when you make that passing a little easier just by being there. Thanks for all you do for these precious souls.

HeartlessBitch69 48F

6/16/2006 10:02 pm

sexymamma662003--I just keep thinkin how she always told me she liked my curves!

HeartlessBitch69 48F

6/16/2006 10:12 pm

angelofmercy5--Ty angle

rm_cru1972 46M
4407 posts
6/16/2006 10:32 pm

I could never do what you do, I had a hard enogh time just being on the ambulance. I would get much to attached to the patients. I am glad there are such compassionate people like you out there

p.s. I like your curves too, but you already knew that

skyking412004 55M
5363 posts
6/16/2006 10:55 pm

_____I couldn't do your job. It would break me. Either that, or I would turn into an insensitive asshole.

wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
6/17/2006 12:07 am

I have a friend who is a CNA at a nursing home here. I never saw his tender side until I saw him with his patients.

I couldn't do your job either.


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

HeartlessBitch69 48F

6/17/2006 12:26 am

skyking412004--I think you would be good at it!

cru1972--Come show me how much you likey the curves

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

6/17/2006 12:41 am

Your ripping me up on the inside on this one but I understand you need to speak of these things...You are a comfort to so many, may God bless you all....Ready


willing2tryit42 41M
1141 posts
6/17/2006 1:34 am

I only hope that all of us will oneday be cared for by someone as giving as you are!!!!

mycin62 56F

6/17/2006 6:01 am

A truly hard place to be. I know, I've been there. I always hope that my presence at their passing has given them some peace. I always pray for them, as their souls get sent up to heaven.

Looking4sex44240 55F

6/17/2006 7:06 am

I think it takes a special person to do your kind of work. I could never do it, I get to emotional.

HeartlessBitch69 48F

6/17/2006 8:16 am

wildoats19622--Some can and some can't

Looking4sex44240--I do cry, ALOT, but I am a closet crier!

tayninh2--But I am only loving to them!

mycin62--This one time this resident was dieing and she was crying and screaming. I laid in her bed with her and held her like a baby til she passed.

willing2tryit42--It scares me to think about it!


LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
6/17/2006 8:48 am

    Quoting willing2tryit42:
    I only hope that all of us will oneday be cared for by someone as giving as you are!!!!

HeartlessBitch69 48F

6/17/2006 10:34 am

LustyTaurus--It scares the shit out of me knowing I may one day have to go into the nursing home!

TeddyBaral 54M

6/17/2006 12:13 pm

"NotSoHeartlessBitch", each and every one of us who has ever watched a loved one pass on knows what you are feeling. Its never easy but I'm sure the family draws comfort from knowing that you were there in the past and will be there for the duration. They knew how much their family member drew comfort from her caregiver and the family is now drawing that same comfort. Thats a very special gift you have given them and one that you can always be proud of. Compassion and caring are gifts that human kind needs to give each other more often.

The woman you cared for possesses the wisdom of the ages and has left her mark not only in your heart but in your mind. Cherish that and pass it along.

HeartlessBitch69 48F

6/17/2006 2:09 pm

TeddyBaral--Ty, And thanks for making me tear up again

rm_zipper190 60M
1 post
6/17/2006 10:07 pm

Heartless you certainly touched me on this one,and my heart goes out to you and her family. I'm certain both of you were better for having each other in your lives.

HeartlessBitch69 48F

6/18/2006 3:05 am

zipper190---Now I wish I would have been there!

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