I Feel As If I Have Reached My Limit.............  

HeartlessBitch69 47F
6876 posts
5/28/2006 7:03 pm

Last Read:
5/30/2006 12:45 am

I Feel As If I Have Reached My Limit.............

Or maybe it is because today was just a bad day!

I was up at the ButtCrack of Dawn!! (0530) To be at work by 0600. Today I was to pull a 16 hour shift, with the weekend crew that I wouldn't even piss on if any of them was on FIRE!

I was working side by side with someone who is even more negative about shit then me! And slow as snot on a cold winters day!

So mood is bad from the minute I hit the building. I keep thinking "only 11 hours to go", "only 9 hours to go","only 5 hours to go". Then I called my boss, and asked if I got everything in order could I leave early. I get the ok to leave sometime between 5 and 6. Fucking thanks for nothin!

At 2p.m. I am in a residents room assisting her to bed. I speak to her roommate(who just got there the day before) who says she is ill and ends up getting a bloody nose, and was coughing up alot of blood, while I am in there. I get her cleaned up and a cold wash cloth. She is running a temp. I inform the nurse. About 1/2 hour later then nurse comes to the desk. The resident is dead! OMFG! I was just talking to her!

She had lived in our nursing home before, about a month ago, and was discharged cause she was well enough to go home. She had just found out she had lung cancer(never smoked). She only lived one week after finding out!

I had to go in and get her body ready to be picked up, and I will not go into detail, just that for the first time ever in my career,I had to leave the room. I couldn't take it! I have taken care of so many who have died from all kinds of different things, and this one was just, I couldn't take it!

And what sucks even more, when I need someone, I am alone!

I think I'm losing it! And that was my holiday weekend!


secret_eyespy 55M  
488 posts
5/28/2006 8:01 pm

Hey Heartless....you know where I am. I'm close enough to you to drop everything and come to you and just give you a hug. Sometimes you need someone to confirm that everything will be alright from time to time. You know how to get ahold of me. No strings. No expectations. Just a kind word and a good ear to listen.

I'll be waiting....

MrNuttz05 50M

5/28/2006 8:05 pm

Way to go 'secret eyespy'... BLOGLAND is here for ya... Just pick up when I call

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

5/28/2006 8:46 pm

I am so sorry and even though you feel alone you're not.......we all love you here. The first time I had someone die on me in the ER I flipping lost it. Once again I'm sorry about your day

lifeisablast333 55M

5/28/2006 9:25 pm

i love the butt crack of dawn, it makes me so horny....LOL

HeartlessBitch69 47F

5/28/2006 10:35 pm

waerlookin4fun--This is like the 100+ person I have had to care for when they have died! And I freak out now? WTF?

lifeisablast333--Everything makes you horny, redneck! lol

MariGrrl--It is already lookin up!

MrNuttz05--I did pick up the phone!

secret_eyespy--Thank You!

HeartlessBitch69 47F

5/28/2006 10:59 pm

Desscifi--Thanks, It is all getting better! It was just the bad day blues!

goodguysneedit2 57M

5/29/2006 7:50 am

Yo-- Biatch,

I'm sure the worst part about your job is the fact you get to know your patients to some degree, if not fairly well.
I was a volunteer EMT/Fire for many years..I can tell you I've seen some nasty stuff, yet there is still a difference in what I experienced and what you do.

Heartless is an entertaining title and you wear it well...but if I were to really climb into your head I'd say you simply do not enjoy feeling hurt.
And I know that's why the ones who love ya,love ya.

Hugs to ya H-B...
...I'd love to take your mind off of it all.

HeartlessBitch69 47F

5/29/2006 8:20 am

goodguysneedit2--Ty darlin!

wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
5/29/2006 6:36 pm

Heartless, as if.

Cruel? only when it is deserved.

Death, the hurdle to the afterlife. Hugs if you need them


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

JPP2200 64M

5/29/2006 7:08 pm

HB69, You should be proud of yourself. You are busy comforting the sick and I'm sure that you bring a smile to many people that you come into contact with at work. It must wear on you at times like yesterday. Keep up the good work. And keep smiling. Us live ones enjoy it.

HeartlessBitch69 47F

5/29/2006 8:47 pm

JPP2200--Today was no better Damn It!

wildoats19622--Thank you babe!

skyking412004 54M
5363 posts
5/29/2006 11:45 pm

_____I may have some idea of why you had to leave the room. When I was younger I worked for a company that had a contract with the Cuyahoga County Coroners Office. There were a few things that freaked me out: perfectly healthy people who died from aneurysms, hospital morgues, picking up dead children, gun suicides, jumpers, Drug killings where the whole family was gunned down, dead people who were still warm, people who died and were found weeks later by the smell. ///// We are all dying from the moment we are born. I'm not sure if what we do here follows us into eternity. Make the most of what you have. A wise man once said..."The greatest of these is love"..."Love one another." The measure of love that you give to your residents makes their dying time all that much easier. Good job, kid.

wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
5/30/2006 12:34 am

Cross commenting again, Amen to that Skyking.


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

HeartlessBitch69 47F

5/30/2006 12:45 am

skyking412004--Kid? Now listen here! I'll show you kid!

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