Mirror, Mirror  

HardlyYours4Now 53M
951 posts
9/6/2005 9:41 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, mirror, on the wall;
Will I find someone to ball?

Lose some weight and get Rogaine;
Then come back and try again.

Mirror, mirror, as you said -
Less on tummy, more on head.
Now that I have done these things,
Will I have this wondrous fling?

You are too blessed when it comes to blows;
Rhinoplasty: fix your nose.
And one thing more required, I think -
Halitosis: your breath doth stink.

Mirror,mirror, I did as told -
I'd be happy to have someone to hold.

You seem like such an awfully nice fellow -
But you won't get squat with teeth so yellow.

Mirror, mirror, you were right -
The dentist turned my teeth to white.
So now can I just get a date?
Else I'll stay home and masturbate.

Your speech so rough, your demeanor not cool;
I suggest a course at a charm school.

Mirror, mirror, how are you?
Relief in sight for parts turned blue?

You really would improve your chances
If lessons you would take in dances.

Mirror, mirror, I've fixed so much
Is there someone for me to touch?

One last thing to get off the shelf -
Always remember to be yourself!

Mirror, mirror, in the trash -
You can just kiss my pale white ass.

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
9/6/2005 11:02 pm

Laugh! Honestly, I swear yours is the only poetry I enjoy.

(BTW, I miss the smile pic, even with the weird pinkish tint to your teeth.)

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

wyvernrose 39F  
3962 posts
9/7/2005 8:01 am

I love it


AlbertPrince 59M

9/7/2005 9:44 am

One day, this lady went to a garage sale and saw this mirror against a wall. She looked at it for a while and decided to purchase it. The lady, who was running the garage sale, told her that it was a magic mirror.
She took it home and put it on the inside of her closet door.
Her husband came home from work and she told him what she bought They were getting ready for bed and she excused herself from the bed and told him that she would be right back.
She went over to the closet door and stood in front of the mirror and said, "Mirror, mirror, on the door, make my breasts a 44". All of the sudden, her breasts pop out.
She crawled into bed and her husband was just so tickled at her big breasts. He asked her how she did it. She told him that she told him earlier that she bought a magic mirror.
He laughed and asked where it was. He went over to the closet and opened the door and stood in front of it naked as a jaybird. He said, "Mirror, mirror, on the door, make my cock touch the floor."

All of a sudden, his legs fell off.

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
9/7/2005 9:48 am

Tell it to kiss your pasty, greasy white ass from me. Anybody ever say you look like Henry Rollins? (that's a good thing)

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/7/2005 3:10 pm

Daphne -

Many thanks. Wasn't sure how mixing Disney with kissing my ass would go over. And I don't get what happened with the eyes pic - I do NOT have that many laugh lines - I swear it is a digital dehancement.

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/7/2005 3:12 pm

wyvernrose - TY! TYVM (very much, that is)!

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/7/2005 3:15 pm

Albert - You slay me. Not literally, of course. I may have sleeping habits more like a vampire than a mortal, but no staking needed here.
Can you tell I have no comeback to your story?

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/7/2005 3:18 pm

saintlianna - The performance artist? I'll take that as a compliment. I'm not sure how he would feel about that...and how did you know my ass is greasy? Has someone been peeking in my basement window? I have got to remember to close those shutters...

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