By Request - The Fall of Rome  

HardlyYours4Now 53M
951 posts
9/24/2005 3:52 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

By Request - The Fall of Rome

Blame saintlianna for this - I had to jump on this as soon as she suggested it.

There's something else she suggested that I would love to jump on, but that'll have to wait.

The Fall of Rome
Julius Seizure (known to his friends as Orange Julius*) called to the Pretorian Gaurd, "Prepare my chariot!" Instantly, there was a clattering of feet fading into the distance. Julius smiled as he thought of the immense power that was in his hands, then stroked the power a couple of times.

He stopped, embarassed, when he heard a throat clearing behind him. Turning, he saw his sister, Julia Seizure, a wicked smile on her face. She said, "Mom warned you about that. You know that's why you have hairy knickles and bad vision, don't you?"

He growled as he adjusted his toga. "Genetics." he said. "I've got dad's knuckles, and you've got our mother's bitchy attitude."

Julia smiled. "I borrowed one of your gaurds last night - Maximus, I think his name was. Very talented tongue, that one."

Seizure grinned. "Yes, I would have to agree. I had him the night before. I used him, he used me, but neither one cared - we were getting our share."**

Julia pouted, "You always have to be first at everything, don't you?." Julius retorted, "Mom always liked you best."

They stood in silence for a moment, then he said, "I was going for a ride over to the Colosseum for the Monster Chariot Rally. Like to come along?"

Julia stood in silence.

"I've added a bitchin' sound system to the chariot - I now have slaves running on both sides of the chariot, singing together. It's way cool!"***

Julia finally said, "Brother, I would love to ride along, but it's getting chilly outside. You see, it's the fall of Rome.

Listing of obscure references:
* - Orange Julius: a frosty treat we had in the midwest when I was growing up; a precursor to Smoothies, as I recall.
** - Night Moves, Bob Seeger
*** - Stereophonic sound wouldn't be captured on vinyl until the 1960s.

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
9/24/2005 8:09 am

That was great although I would have gone with urine samples. We had an Orange Julius but it went out of business years ago, I like your Andy Warhol.

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
9/24/2005 10:15 am

A long build up for a terrible pun - what a perfect example of where pleasure meets pain!

As a side note, I hear that Baz Lurmann is looking at the film rights for the story. (obsure reference)

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/24/2005 10:37 am

saint -

You left a pretty long list of suggestions; don't count anything out yet. And thanks on the HardlyArt.

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/24/2005 10:39 am

Kat -

Wasn't intending to make anyone feel old...age is all mental, and I'm definitely mental.

AlbertPrince 59M

9/24/2005 10:41 am

Apparently maximus was heard to comment, after he went down on julia, that he was "glad he ate her"

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
9/24/2005 10:50 am

Laugh, I guess it's just the east that dumped the Orange Julius places. They are alive and well and living in the malls out here.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/24/2005 11:12 am

Albert -

Exspearimenting with puns at my expense?
How can I shield myself against these assaults?
Do you spend your time just roman through blogs all day, looking for such opportunities?

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/24/2005 11:13 am

Daphne -

I never would have expected that the 'Orange Julius' reference would get feedback. Next time I'll leave out the Cliff's notes comments at the bottomof the post.

ProtonicMan 49M

9/24/2005 6:59 pm

"Next time I'll leave out the Cliff's notes comments at the bottomof the post."

Yeah, stick to the Hardly's Notes, please. I never really believed Mr. Claven's comments on anything.


rm_sj365 57F
2414 posts
9/24/2005 10:06 pm

I'll have some of whatever it is Hardly's smoking please.

SJ *shaking head & thinking...the man aint right*

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/25/2005 1:37 am

Proto - Ouch! Never saw it coming!

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/25/2005 1:39 am

sj -

Sad to say, this is just me, not herbally-enhanced, just reality-challenged. But my own little world is so much more fun than the real one.

helga_hansen 50F  
1987 posts
9/25/2005 3:14 am

Et tu, Hardly?


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

HardlyYours4Now 53M

9/25/2005 4:39 am

helga -

et several, just none lately.

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