HardlyBreathing 53M
20 posts
9/26/2005 9:22 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Originally aired August 3rd, 2005 on Carry-Ons.

BISBEE, NEW MEXICO ‒ This quiet town has seen a population surge in recent months, mostly due to the excitement caused by the work of archeologists and paleontologists in the nearby Sierra Nervosa Mountains. A cave was uncovered there in the late 1940’s by a local shepherd, and has become the focus of international attention.

Cave paintings dated to near the time when this area was first inhabited have provided a rich tapestry of the daily life of the peoples of this area. Students from nearby New Mexico Poly-Tech have nicknamed the main character and apparent artist in the murals as ‘Og.’ Og is shown hunting, bringing wild game to the cave, and posing uncomfortably for a family portrait. Given the medium in which he was working, it is not surprising that he would have been uncomfortable; it is estimated that the detailed portrait may have required several weeks of posing.

The latest excitement, however, has been about the discovery of a section of the cave that was previously uncharted. Scientists now believe they have uncovered Og’s personal retreat, based on the more personal nature of the drawings in this small chamber. The earliest, most crude drawings show a young Og carrying a dear, apparently his first kill, back to the cave. After reviewing the incredible level of detail, scientists now interpret what were once seen as beads of sweat as tears, suggesting that perhaps Og did not enjoy killing the young deer.

The next vignette shows a teenaged Og pumping his fist in the air after apparently bagging the Uhn-Uhn twins. Scientists have noted that Og appears to be smoking.

As Og approaches mid-life, the next portrait shows Og surrounded by other locals, snickering because Og is balding. Og appears frustrated.

In the final scene, Og is leaning on a walking stick and appears to be trying to chase a coed from the local university. The coed utters something that linguists have interpreted as ‘Ewwwwwwww!’

The scientific community is grateful to Og. His detailed handiwork shows us a much bigger picture of the life of early man. “It is fascinating,” says paleontologist Ivan A. Reelife, “to see how much we have changed since the days of ‘Og.’” Dr. Reelife’s lab assistant, the lovely Nadya Tipe, simply said, “Yeah, right.”

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