You know my most intimate thoughts  

Greathands54 64M
15 posts
4/2/2006 6:31 pm
You know my most intimate thoughts

It's such an illusion isn't it?

Albeit one we love to pursue. We read each others' blogs - our deepest and darkest thoughts, desires...our banal day to day meanderings...stories we've written about the people we meet, or are in relationships with, or cross paths with on our individual Journeys.

We take in little kernels of knowledge and understanding from reading others' words...or we send out our own, to some stranger whose picture we like, or whose writing intrigues us...or who turns us on...we write back and forth, and eventually e-mail when the connection gets deeper...or disappear into the ether, never to be heard from again.

I'd love to meet some of you one day at some event or other...leaning against a pillar at some party, drink in hand...a smile of recognition as we meet for the first time...

You know my most intimate thoughts I'll say to myself. What do you really think of me? What did you expect me to look like, smell like, dress like...or act like?

Who are you really?

What if we connect right away - you turn out to be exactly who I thought you were as I read between the lines of your many posts...listening day after day to the music pouring out of your fingers, the flood of ideas put into our big community of kinky-minded adults...

What if you turn out to be a liar, or delusional?

Not that long ago I worked a big television gig, 19 days long. Fifty people from all walks of life and experience thrown together to write, and edit, and interview, and produce, at the other end, a coherent vision of somebody else's big public event.

The discovery was fascinating, and exhausting.

Managing the interplay (interwork?) of big egos and small, big bodies and small, some furtive, unwilling to share their ideas... some loud, not caring a whit what others thought, some determined to see it through to the end, some there for a buck, some there for the creative thrill..and the tension, which is always there in a creative endeavour.

Whew what a maelstrom, what a whirling vortex of emotion and dreams and the stark reality of just getting it done and to tape...hoping to please the people who hired us, hoping to please a fickle audience, who's tastes are a moving target...

Yes I'd like to meet lots of you someday...touch more than your words and dreams and desires...I'd like to look into your eyes and touch your creative soul.

And feel you touch me...and make my dreams come true too.

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