The secrets we keep  

Greathands54 64M
15 posts
3/29/2006 11:20 am

Last Read:
4/1/2006 7:46 pm

The secrets we keep

We each have a right to our secrets.

Mine are mostly erotic in nature... but the trail leads outward to cover a lot of terrain.

I don't know my spouse's secrets. I figured out last fall that she's off in therapy with doctor female somebody, those monthly "errands" she calls them, never willing to discuss or enlighten. Until I confronted her in January that is, and I'm no further ahead even now. Apparently our relationship wasn't even on the agenda.

I have issues with all sorts of things, but sex and desire are paramount for me. The big ones. From being active in ideal circumstances in my younger years - I don't know how else to describe it - to long years of neglect and solo later, imagined adventures for which I gave myself permission.

Now Life is evolving...

I've been in therapy twice in my life.

The first a sex issue actually, something about shyness and performance fear. Or control... In the end, an overbearing girlfriend to deal with - performance issues of the young mind.
Long long ago, thankfully resolved to my satisfaction (and that of the girlfriend)

The last was work-related, a stress explosion that changed my life in many ways. So I think therapy is a great idea, as long as it leads to concrete results, or understanding...

End result for me? Pretty open to anything, non-judgemental most times...but frustrated by values that said don't do this, don't do that.

Of course that all changed when I landed here.
A database and my desires finally met...and I lived my desires like a dam bursting open, an obsession that overcame me.

I lived my secrets for the better part of a year, with great gusto and energy...and great fear... but a gathering courage to face the ultimate revelation of it all, now inevitable and on the horizon...and then live the circumstances, with control of my own.

What a life this roller coaster ride has turned out to be...

We have lots more secrets laying about the floor - tossed around picture side up, facing us...
Some days we tiptoe past them carefully, avoiding them desperately. Other days we circle them warily, and linger, thinking of what could be...

It's been interesting to gather them up and string them together...and look at the patterns they form.

After that it's a Journey with those patterns in hand...towards the next bend...wondering...
when will they collide...your secrets and mine...

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