Confused and Wondering  

Georgie007777 69M
170 posts
6/25/2006 12:48 pm

Last Read:
8/25/2017 12:47 am

Confused and Wondering

Hello to all in Blogland,

I have been visiting all my fave bloggers over the last few days and leaving messages and this is my first post for three days as have a very personal point-of-view to share.

Please do not shoot me down.
Please listen first before judging
Please leave a post.......


So:-

- I am an ordinary man.
- I have ordinary needs.
- I am nothing special.

And......

I have been married to the same person for over 30 years - we have been successful and have a wonderful intelligent family of kids and grandkids..............

I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

We have become very used to each other as many do over time.

This has become boring. But............

I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

I sometimes feel that my head will explode....

I have tried everything I know and have read to try and inject a spark...

but... No response - not even a willingness to discuss it....

Always my fault - I am apparently too demanding...

I have chatted to one of her close friends in whom I can confide...

She says "Wait! It'll come round and get better!" - but that was then and I have been waiting for 6 years......................

But ............

...in the old days we shared everything....

Now?

What is it for?

- Waiting for Death?
- Waiting for something?
- What?

We bloggers appear to suffer from the same search, quest, desire, loneliness, trouble, yearning........

We are all searching for something or someone........

I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

I couldn't leave her in spite of the lack of response...

I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

Last week, I drove her to an exhibition she wanted to see - but had to endure complaints about:-

- the music I played on the CD - Bach...
- the route I took!
- the time we left..............!!!!!

BUT - I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

I need a soul-mate...

Does she exist?

A private Soul-mate in the South of England to meet occasionally - to hug - to chat - to text - to ... be close to.

But I feel a traitor...

I do not know what is best - I am in my 50's but feel 23.

I wish I had been able to ask my dad how he felt...

Was he the same?
What he stronger?
Is everyone else stronger?

Confused - so confused...

Time is passing...

So need to hug...

So need...

...a soul-mate......

So need a friend........

So need a woman.........................

So sad..............

So confused............

BUT I LOVE HER SO VERY MUCH.

Sir Georgie - wondering if there is any point in making it worse with more posting...

Should I stop?

*tears*




RubyRedPetal 45F

6/25/2006 3:38 pm

Aw babe...firstly what a fabulous, heart rending post.
I dont think we have enough words for love. I was discussing it with my friend the other week. We need a word that recognises the sort of long term love that you have with your wife. A special word. One that people can be proud of but that acknowledges romantic changes over time, the building of a life and an identity.
We need a whole heap of words (the greek had a few dint they bless em). Bloody bane of my life words but i do love em. They are very like maps arnt they, but we go thru some of our most important relationships blind......Jeeze how many words do the eskimos have for snow??


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RubyRedPetal 45F

6/25/2006 3:42 pm

ooo that was my longest blog post ever and i have never been here before so i feel a bit cheeky like! So erm Hi babe! x

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OboesHonedIambs 63F

6/25/2006 4:56 pm

Even with Dear Hub's permission, at first I thought I'd feel like a traitor, but I don't. And I do love him so. But after all this time, I think you've been more than patient. Lesser men would already be long gone. Clearly you don't want to leave, so I would talk to her and let her know that while you don't want a divorce, you intend to have a lady friend or two for the things she is unwilling to, or unable to provide you. We're not morally required to live miser-ably (deliberate hyphenation) even amongst those we love the most. If she reacts negatively, insist on marriage counselling.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee


Georgie007777 69M
419 posts
6/26/2006 12:30 am

    Quoting RubyRedPetal:
    ooo that was my longest blog post ever and i have never been here before so i feel a bit cheeky like! So erm Hi babe! x
Dear Ruby,

Thanx for your two posts.

I love long posts and I loved reading yours and your sentiments on Love.

Keep visiting....

Sir Georgie xx


Georgie007777 69M
419 posts
6/26/2006 12:44 am

    Quoting OboesHonedIambs:
    Even with Dear Hub's permission, at first I thought I'd feel like a traitor, but I don't. And I do love him so. But after all this time, I think you've been more than patient. Lesser men would already be long gone. Clearly you don't want to leave, so I would talk to her and let her know that while you don't want a divorce, you intend to have a lady friend or two for the things she is unwilling to, or unable to provide you. We're not morally required to live miser-ably (deliberate hyphenation) even amongst those we love the most. If she reacts negatively, insist on marriage counselling.
Hi Ab-Glad,

Thanx for your advice..

However - I couldn't confront her like that - she has three low level medical problems, her sister is going through a messy separation/divorce, her other three sisters have all been divorced - one twice, her father has medical problems.

She sees herself as the one who is doing it right!

I couldn't tell her and make her cry.

Sir Georgie xx


Georgie007777 69M
419 posts
6/26/2006 12:47 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    No Georgie..don't stop..ya need us..OOhh how ya need us.
Dear MzHuny,

Thanx for dropping by..... It is always lovely to see your smiling face...

Sir Georgie xx


HBowt2 60F

6/26/2006 4:01 am

I know where you are Georgie and all I can say is that being on here helps....so stay...


Georgie007777 69M
419 posts
6/26/2006 5:33 am

    Quoting HBowt2:
    I know where you are Georgie and all I can say is that being on here helps....so stay...
Dear Irish Colleen,

Thanx...

Have always loved Dublin - a fair city indeed.

Thanx for the comfort...

Comfort back to you to.

Sir Georgie - comforted a bit xx


Georgie007777 69M
419 posts
6/26/2006 9:38 am

    Quoting rm_heavenly_:
    Georgie....
    your post touched me so...
    there are no answers... only the search for them...
    the love you feel for your wife shines through... but you want more...I can see this, I can relate to this... you dont want to lose what you have, but on the other hand. is this it? is this all there is .....sigh...
    big ((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))

    Dont go... am just getting used to you being around xxx
Dear Heavenly,

Thank you for your understanding. A woman's understanding means a lot to me.

It was very hard starting to write this post but once I got 'finger to keyboard' it just flowed out - I felt I had to put cards on table

Thank you so much for your words of comfort & I like being around...

...around, you, too...

I would like you to share how you 'relate to this'.

Sir Georgie - with his pecker going up with your encouragement.

xxx and a big ((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))) back to you...

Sir Georgie - still
*blushing*


justcruising76 60F

6/26/2006 12:22 pm

i know how you feel and no matter how hard you try , nothing is ever good enough.Just keep on loving her , at least you will still feel love in your heart.She loves you too but maybe she has too many things on her mind to deal with at the moment ...... and dont forget the dreaded MENOPAUSE could be rearing its head here . take care sweety x x x x x x x BIG hugs for you


Georgie007777 69M
419 posts
6/26/2006 3:45 pm

    Quoting justcruising76:
    i know how you feel and no matter how hard you try , nothing is ever good enough.Just keep on loving her , at least you will still feel love in your heart.She loves you too but maybe she has too many things on her mind to deal with at the moment ...... and dont forget the dreaded MENOPAUSE could be rearing its head here . take care sweety x x x x x x x BIG hugs for you
Dear JC76

Thanx for stopping by - It is lovely here chatting to total strangers - a kind of total honesty - I know that you know that I know etc.

I do love her but she hurt me deeply many years ago - she had been very affectionate during our pre-married period - and then 2 years after marriage she suddenly announced that she didn't like the taste of cum and that was that! I wouldn't have minded, I suppose, but she was the one that first sucked me off - two days after I met her - in 1969 - I warned her what would happen if she continued and she smiled and said "So!" We kissed on her mouth full of my spunk -MY spunk - out of MY cock - so receptive.......

My thoughts now are did it blow me just to "trap" me.

It hurts so much being rejected like that out of the blue after three years - but by then we had a lovely daughter - and I just continued.......

BUT I so need a woman to want to receive my spunk. I never ask - I never expect - I just wish.

YES - she is menopausal and has been for years - but I still hurt from that rejection - WHY!

Sir Georgie - in pain xxx


rm_lucytart 51F
590 posts
6/27/2006 7:45 pm

Shoot you down? I applaud you! You echo my frustration, almost exactly. The only difference between us is physical: I play the wife in my scene. But to no avail...

I respect you for your honesty, Georgie.


Georgie007777 69M
419 posts
6/30/2006 2:36 pm

    Quoting rm_lucytart:
    Shoot you down? I applaud you! You echo my frustration, almost exactly. The only difference between us is physical: I play the wife in my scene. But to no avail...

    I respect you for your honesty, Georgie.
Thank you Lucy,

Nice to know someone understands...

Sir Georgie xx


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