Ahhhhh the joy's of dating in your 30's in the real world!  

Frostygirl 48F
168 posts
9/5/2006 3:33 pm

Last Read:
3/7/2007 10:06 pm

Ahhhhh the joy's of dating in your 30's in the real world!

Oh what a wonderful thing it is to be a woman in my 30's and to be dating....NOT!!!!!! So its time for me to rant a little on the seriously messed up world of dating Men in there 30's out and about in the real world.

So here are some of the reasons why I very rarely date. I have come to the conclusion that most men are complete pigs when they get to be single in what I like to call the second phase of there life. Why is this? A very good question I say! And I have no idea why but here are a few thoughts on the subject. Ladies back me up on this and let me know if you have experienced the same thing or please feel free to add to this little rant of frustration.

I think that most men during there 20's meet a gal and fall madly in love. The get married, pop out a couple of kids and then are amazed a couple of years down the road when there wives become complete Nagging Bitches. I guess it never occurs to them that most wives work 40 hours a week and on top of that deal with children and of course lets not forget almost 100% of all house work, cooking, laundry and cleaning also falls on the poor overworked and stressed out wives as well. Hmmmmm I wonder why they are tired and exhausted and not interested in having sex when all they crave is a little help and love and support from there man. You would think they would get the clue that if they helped you out more that would mean you are not so exhausted all the time and would be up for some more slap and tickle. Now this isn't to say that this is always the case but I am betting its about 90% of the population.

So lets head to Men in there 30's. The love has died and the flower has lost its bloom. Life becomes to much and divorce finally rears its ugly head. It seems that a majority of men I have spoke to about this have to deal with psychotic ex-wives who are intent on taking them for every dime they have. Nasty long dragged out divorces seem to ensue. This in turn leaves men with a very bitter and bad taste in there mouth when it comes to women. Any kind of trust they had for the fairer sex has been tossed out the window and that thing called trust is buried in a stinking rotting hole of filth with what men like to call there glory days. This it seems to be the turning point for some men and there thinking about women and then there desire just to use them to there benefits without any real thought or consideration.

Ok so lets be fair. We ladies understand that due to traumatic circumstances like the above mentioned that we understand the fact that men are gun shy when it comes to trust or love ever again. Ohhh did I mention that it seems like a lot of us ladies went through something similar within our lives as well?? Yeah that doesn't matter though....lets move back to the men.

So the day finally comes when the guy in his 30's has decided that he wants to start dating again......that or in 95% of most cases there just horny and they need to get laid because they are tired of Rosy. So the feelers are out and he starts to make contact but of course there are ALWAYS exceptions and men are very vocal in this. They need to express themselves and make it crystal clear on there intentions. Here are a few of the things I have heard come from men's mouth and some of the reasons why I don't date which is the reason for this rant.

"I'm not looking for anything serious, just friends with benefits."- I say to this Gee thanks its nice to know that I am good enough to fuck but not good enough for anything else....next.....

"I'm not changing my life I just want to make it more interesting."- Are you for real??? I find this to probably be one of the most insulting things ever to tell a woman. Seriously how messed up is that?? May your dick slowly rot off with pain and humiliation for saying such a thing to a lady.

"Can't I just get your phone number and when your in the mood and I'm in the mood we can just call each other and satisfy our urges."- No you can't get my number....next.

"Why don't you just give me your phone number and I'll call you when I can. I don't always have my phone on me or I can't answer it sometimes."- Code for I'm married and cheating.....next.....

"Wow nice tits how big are they?"....sighhhhhhh

Ok so you get the idea right? Now I understand that not all men are like this but I have yet to meet a man who the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "I am not looking for anything serious just friends with benefits." Is this the standard blurb that all men use? Is this something that is so tightly ingrained in all mens brains that this must be an automatic sentence? Now don't get me wrong. I am not the type of person to meet you and then instantly assume that after the first date that we must have some type of committed relationship. Heck no this is not the case at all. I am way to cautious of a woman to ever do something like that. But it would be such a refreshing change of pace not to hear the usual spew of Bullshit like the above mentioned from men.

I guess men truly don't care that they make most of the women feel degraded and like they are truly nothing more than a piece of meat. To know that your only looked at as a means to get laid is truly a blow to a woman's ego. To repeatedly hear time after time from men that your good enough to sleep with but that's it and nothing more is a wonder why more women aren't lesbian's. To make us so very aware that you are fine to fuck but not to take home to meet his friends or family is insulting.

Men you need to rethink your strategy because the game your playing is not working on most of us. We understand that you have been hurt in the past and are reluctant to get involved with a woman again because your afraid to get hurt all over again. But just so you know there are some truly wonderful, kind and caring women in the world that will treat you how you want to be treated and will love you and care for you with all there being. Also these kind, caring and wonderful women can be the biggest freak in the sheets you have ever met who will more than likely do whatever it takes to keep you happy and fulfill every little naughty fantasy that you have in your head if you treat them right!

Of course as well all know this really applies in the real world and not on AdultFriendFinder. That my friends is a whole different beast all together to be looked into at some point.

That being said my rant is over for now...lol..... What can I say but it's a man bashing kind of day!!!!

SingleWarrior 53M

9/5/2006 8:02 pm

Wow. Good thing I left the 30's a couple years ago, eh?

rm_SlaveDragon5 46M
9 posts
9/5/2006 10:48 pm

Well now, thank you very much Frosty. You have taken all my good "come-on" lines and hung them out like yesterday's laundry. Back to the f%$#^ing drawing board.


After reading that rant, I punched myself in the eye and went over to the neighbor's house so they could kick me in the balls. Suddenly, I hate being in my 30's!

Seriously, I do have to love you!! Feel free to slap the snot out of me if you ever even HEAR of me acting like that! And remember, we're not ALL completely evil, just tormented by the female species' bewitching ways! BTW, have I mentioned you're a fox yet?

See you soon...!


_pinkie_ 57F
5201 posts
9/6/2006 8:34 am

LMAO @ slaveDragon!!!

horsearcherwanna 57M/37F
17 posts
9/6/2006 5:19 pm



I was just posting to my blog and noticed your name on the visitors list. Thanks for stopping by.

Frostygirl 48F

9/6/2006 8:25 pm

LOL @ Slave...that was to funny. Now you all know I love and adore men in a big way but yeah what can I say but sometimes I must vent my frustrations in order to stay somewhat sane....lol......

6 posts
9/8/2006 8:59 am


Thanks slave for taking a hit for us all
I may go over to neighbors a little later and take one for the team also!!

BUT now for the defensive side of me

I for one only put not lookin for any strings on my xmatch profile because that is kinda the going thing on here...if two people meet and just totally click and that is where it goes then GREAT but that is not always gonna happen..if ever??
I have always been the one to most of cleaning around a house and most all of the laundry....a household is a joint venture to speak..not one single person creates a mess or laundry so not one single person should be responsible for it all!!---I have always had an issue finding a female that would actually do even half of cleaning/laundry...it is like well, he will do it I don't have to bother and for the most part that is right because I do not like laundry piled or a unclean house.......
OK I will quit now I guess I ranted enough??
Sorry but had to state my experiences

Frostygirl 48F

9/11/2006 7:29 pm

Ahhhh urcontact4orgasm you failed to see the part that said this was about dating in the "real world". Now I also understand that people aren't going to click and things just don't seem to work out. This I am fine with it happens and its no big deal to me.

This little rant didn't have anything to do with my experiences on AdultFriendFinder even though yes I have pretty much heard the same thing from men on here. But that is to be expected I mean come on it is called a Sex Site for a reason. Then again the last person I dated from here was my ex bf and we were together for a year. And it was a year and half ago that I met him from here. Other than him I haven't met anyone personally from here or dated anyone from here in well over 2 years.

6 posts
9/12/2006 7:01 am

Ok Frosty
I see where you were coming from and I truly understood that you were speaking of "real world" dating, because as you say...this is called a sex site and I am sure most people don't expect to get anything more than that from it ??? I am new here so ???!!

I haven't met anyone from this site and only IM with a couple of people for a short period of time.
I seem to just post messages and topics and that is the extent of it.

I apologize if you feel I was off base with my response....I guess I was just rantin' myself about my experiences?!

TravelerOdin 63M
4 posts
9/19/2006 9:53 am

Ok, so we are all pigs. It's probably God's biggest joke that men are a sexually "physical" being and females more generally are "mentally sexual." It isnt so bad really as it sort of forces a guy to appreciate those finer parts of... loving. A phone call during the day, some flowers or a simple foot massage. The down part is that as soon as she smiles, I get rock hard and start thinking with the wrong head as everything else goes out the window. Lust is great and a guy may pop and roll over in bed but romance requires a more intimate involvement than just poking in and out. You are right we too often forget the importance of starting sex out early in the day (making arraingements for the kids, a nice already prepared dinner and perhaps a movie). Truth is we also get caught up in the daily routine and that in itself makes us all (men and women) mundane by description.

As for being a fuck budy. The very act itself almost implies some kind of relationship even if primarily physical. There is an attraction. Perhaps it could go farther if he/you were not married with a disabled or spouse living in another place. If it is just a disinterested spouse he REALLY needs to go back to the romance issue and do a lot of work. The "couple" BOTH failed that issue. But at least he saw in you something, sorry he could not introduce you to friends and family much as he really wanted too. That would not go over well with the job or family and you could keep him long as you wanted cause he would be job/homeless. Still, you are right and perhaps romance is the key issue here as a woman should be stroked mentally before any consideration of sexually becomes involed.

And if I ever say "Wow nice tits how big are they?" You do not need permission, just go ahead and slap me.

Interesting bash, it was fun and I got to rant back! LOL

zman60_99 49M

9/27/2006 4:08 am

I am the proverbial 30 something male except for the small detail of I have the kids and I have to do all the cleaning and laundry. I have seen from my experience that if I express interest in a woman and mention a relationship of any kind that everything changes. Most women it seems are just as afraid of a relationship as most 30 something men are, most likely from the same reasons, sensitivity to the situation is definitely required. I think that any first encounter needs to be non-sexual any way, you need to know so much more about someone before you commit to that step, yes they may be attractive on the outside but you don't live day to day with only the outside. I guess I was never brazen enough to say the kind of lines that you hate so much but then again I wouldn't be on here if it weren't for a someone else putting me on here.

freakish1980 38M

10/10/2006 12:05 pm

ok heres my 2 cents, DAMN im glad im only 26, and i can honestly say id LOVE a relationship but considering its hard to meet a good woman anywhere at all, let alone one that thinks im good looking and wants to be with me is a horridly depressing experience because for me it just doesnt happen. this is why im always so down*SIGH*. i feel a slight bit better about myself now. the last girl i really got anywhere with off a dating site, we exchanged cell numbers and we text and call each other every once in a great while but she doesnt ever wanna hang out and then she goes and bitches about how shes single and its depressing for her and there i am saying lets go do something and maybe wed end up liking each other? ok whatever i guess shes just NOT interested in me. *grabs the bottle of rum* at least alcohol is always there for me

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