Odder In My Older Age  

Frnds4Play 54M/64F
2686 posts
8/27/2005 8:06 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Odder In My Older Age

My daughter and I have had a hard time of it for quite some time. Like a lot of dads, I think, I’ve been sort of there and sort of the Man In the Moon. My ex and I separated when our daughter was seven which didn’t help things, I’m sure.

Her pregnancy seems to have been a catalyst to our thrashing through a certain amount of that old stuff. I have no doubt there’s more.

She was extremely angry at first. We’ve been doing this thrashing through emails and I almost had to wipe away the sarcasm to simply read a word.

But that deep hard anger seems to be gone. I’m beginning to really enjoy talking with her.

I told her about the business of photographing nude women that Kat and I have started. I wasn’t sure how she’d take it. Happily she was amused. She said, “Well, you seem to be getting odder in your older age.”

She’s hardly a prude, I hasten to clarify. She paid her way through a good deal of college working as a bartender in a strip club.

But the phrase, ‘odder in your older age’ stuck with me. This is what I wrote to her:

“First of all older age is great. Don't let anyone tell you different. I spent a whole lot of my younger age too self-conscious and muddled to get much of anything accomplished. It's not like I'm setting the world on fire now but I have a much greater sense of who I am and what it is I would really like to do. That's a precious thing.

The pagans divide the life of a woman into three aspects: the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. In the aspect of the Crone she's set free of the constraints that bound her as Maiden and Mother.

I'm not aware of a similar division in the ages of a man. All I know is that I feel some of that same freedom a Crone must feel.

It boils down to the fact that I like myself, odd as I am. And the more time that passes the freer I feel to express the self I've kept hidden. It's a wonderful feeling. However disconcerting to those close to me.

I trust I haven't disconcerted you too much.”

Yes, I really like the oddness of my older age. I hope those of you who are older do too.

AtomicKisss 59M

8/27/2005 10:01 pm

Being relatively close to your age, I can fully appreciate what you wrote. I wonder if the younger ones will get the full impact? Very profound!

rm_vixenflir 59M
295 posts
8/29/2005 6:47 am

Total agreement from me on the aging issue! I have found that within the last few years especially, I am more at ease with who I am and what I am (the word 'perv' has been thrown around {lol}) and what I am capable of doing. No more pressure on myself to live up to someone's expectations I find! I am who I am and am at ease with that. I prefer others to like who I am but if they don't.....oh well nothing I'm goin' to do to change it at this point. I'm just a happy ol' perv and thats the way it is. Steve

Become a member to create a blog