again....and again  

Fox4aKnight1 44F
1176 posts
1/23/2006 2:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

again....and again

Here I am crying again .....sobbing....with tears running down my face. it started quietly in the I started to dry my hair my quiet crying became sobs. Why do I suffer from this stupid silly disease.......I get sick from crying........I hate myself sometimes..........oh why can't I focus on the possitive........I feel so broken......oh lord why can't I stop crying......I stop.....but then it starts a dam bursting over.
an add on to my mood is despair .....

I made some food ....or started too ....I am going to end up throwing it away ....I am not hungry anymore

I am now gonna go crawl into bed ....sorry folks for being so depressing

rm_CuummDrop 50F
2591 posts
1/23/2006 4:11 pm

my dearest fox, smile pretty girl... i have seen you at the high's in your life, and the low's.. Remember sweetheart, when one door closes 3 open.

So MANY times you pulled me outta the depths of hell, to only have me regain the positive things about me. Remember Fox 'so wanting to use your name'.. WhoEVER hurt you like this,,, is NOT worth your tears! You my dear child are a special woman, one who is funny and bright, and my goodness sweetheart, smart as a whip. i look up to you...!

i love you, keep smiling sweetheart... *blows a kiss*


Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c

Rockhard2x6 55M

1/23/2006 4:13 pm

I'm so sorry babe. If I were there, I would put my arms around you and let you cry on my shoulder as I hold you and make things better.

rm_sharksnsails 47M
738 posts
1/23/2006 8:51 pm

......Someone to be yourself with ......warts and all.....
your response to "the best reason to have a friend is..."

well, I hope I have been that for you.
it took courage to ask what you did, and offer what you offered, and do what you are doing, for me.

Fox4aKnight1 44F

1/24/2006 2:17 am

Hugs Wendy ......your response has made me smile hun.....I am unfortunatly suffering from my depression again. So my triggers are a bit more hair triggerr than usual. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I will come out of it. It will just take time. You know it is bad when I mention it. Wendy you know that I wouldn't mention it if I could have kept my mouth shut. But sometimes it overflows.
Well you know how that goes. hugs wendy ...and thank you sweetheart ....

Fox4aKnight1 44F

1/24/2006 2:21 am

Rock, I would love that so much right now thank you for that hugsss
I am just waking up and slowly realizing that the depression is still with me even if I am no longer crying. The numbness is here for now. Its almost like a sort of emptying of emotions.........not sure if emtey is the right word. But numb does feel rght, it will go away in a little bit. I am sure of it as the sun rises. hugsssssssssssssssssss and thank you ever so much for everything sweetie

Fox4aKnight1 44F

1/24/2006 2:29 am

You have been aaron and I thank you for that. I want you to know that you will always have a friend in me even if you do something I dislike. The only time I have ever been known to throw a friendship away has been when I am attacked personally by that person. Saying that .......its odd but true that this has only happened twice in my entire 2 1/2 yrs here in AdultFriendFinder . I don't take critiszims wellbut then I also don't take them as personal attacks either. I may not agree but I will go look and see if the person was right or just spouting off. As I see it you have the right to your own lifestyle and so long as that does not hurt me then who am I to judge. hugssssssssss I will talk to you later hun.

Babel__Fish 46F

1/24/2006 10:23 am

My heart goes out to you sweetie. I used to feel the same way sometimes but now it is better. I use to when I looked in the mirror only see the bad in my and the hurt that I thought that I had caused to others but now I am better. I struggled for a very very long time until I felt good about myself and stopped blaming myself for the hurt that others had done to me.

I hope that you too find peace and rest soon.


Fox4aKnight1 44F

1/24/2006 2:09 pm

Hugs Babel and thank you sweetie .......for understanding...

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