Does it Pay?  

Firsttime36 54F
209 posts
5/1/2005 12:26 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Does it Pay?

Does it pay to have or not have a membership on AdultFriendFinder?

Speaking from having always had one and then when I forget to renew it, yes it does....


I know ppl who have NEVER had a membership...just a standard member..and they seem to do just fine...they know many more ppl than I do and they get ALOT of responses to their profile(s).

Maybe it's cos they have a picture on their profile. Maybe its cos they are much more open about what they want from AdultFriendFinder...I dont know.

I choose NOT to have a picture on my profile...and will only exchange a picture for a picture - why you ask? Simple, it gives me the CHOICE of who I am interested in and not interested in to see me. I just dont like to just willy nilly (love that phrase) to give out my phone number, email or picture. You can never be too safe. I am not about long drawn out emailings but I do like to get a 'warm' fuzzy before I just send out any personal information. I learned my lesson about that (not going to go there) and I just like to be able to just let 'it' happen on my terms.

Besides, there are some 'local' ppl that do not know that I am a member of AdultFriendFinder, and now is not the time for them to know. I have had a few approach me, and I am not interested. I know them, see them out and about...and the less they know about my business, the better. I also have on my profile that I am interested in women and later on down the line, perhaps a couple and that's too is my business...yanno?

Nothing burns me up more though than sending a picture, after its asked for, and no response - I mean, wtf, cant you be man or woman enough to say, sorry, you're not what I am looking for. I have done that before. I believe my profile EXPLICITLY says what I am looking for and what I dont want...and those are my choices and my decisions.

Anyways, again, human nature to always look at the outside package first before looking at the whole package. I have met some so-so looking men who turned into GORGEOUS cos they had such and awesome personality. I have met some truly gorgeous men who turned into huge CREEPS - personality, warmth, honesty, sense of humor, respect...they are so important in the scheme....looks are just an added bonus.

So, yes to me, in some ways, a paying membership is good...weeds out what I am looking for...

rm_xesential 33M

5/2/2005 4:44 pm

Having a paying membership definitely pays off. With the ratio of men to women to couples, groups, ts/tv/tg, I would have trouble standing out from the rest. At least with being able to write and giving others the ability to write me back, I get a little step above the rest.

I do agree with you though, that it is bothersome as can be when e-mails are not returned, even after having already sent a few back and forth. I'm positive that for several individuals, the experience can be depressing.

But I state again, paying for a membership is worthwhile.

EroticallyRapt 56M
336 posts
5/2/2005 9:20 pm

I've been a standard, silver, and gold member. I found that being a standard member was just plain useless to me. I've had success with my silver and gold memverships. Thanks for explaining why you choose not to post a picture. I guess that I just didn't understand why someone would not post some kind of pic before I read that. I can see what you mean about maintaining some control over your anonymity. That's why I choose not to include a face pic in my profile. Although, anyone who knows me real well could figure it out from my eyes pic and description of myself. I also get perturbed when someone begins a correspondence with you and then just stops writing without any explanation of why they lost interest. I too have gotten to know someone online without ever seeing a pic of them and it didn't work out well in the end because of a lack of chemistry in the visual sense. But, that's another story as well...ER

man4nooners1 47M
155 posts
5/3/2005 12:04 am

A single woman will get attention if she is a standard member. Maybe not always the right kind of attention. You would have to sort through the responses which is harder without premium membership.
Being a single male, I feel if I don't have a Gold membership, then I'm not even in the game. If I want to meet someone, I probably have to initiate contact. And although I have been contacted first a number of times by females who I had some further contact with, those women would have never even seen my profile if I was a standard member. And I also think that guys who are standard members either appear cheap or have something to hide. Neither is a quality attractive to women.

rm_dandyman43 56M

5/3/2005 2:38 am

It's great to find possibilities, the more you put into it the more you get out of it. Enjoy!

whirlwind66 61M
11 posts
5/11/2005 8:59 am

"And I also think that guys who are standard members either appear cheap or have something to hide. Neither is a quality attractive to women."

I'll comment a bit this sentence, so perhaps another opinion could help in getting a better, more complete, picture. (-:

The qualities attractive to women, and the qualities attractive to men, differ, naturally, from person to person. All we have our personal preferences, value systems, personal culture, attitude, approach, which dictate the way of how our mind works, and how we estimate things.

If we are courageous enough to use our own head, to think about that all, then we can get to pretty interesting and valuable answers and solutions.

But, if we are prone to "think" in stereotypes, then we, unfortunately may come only to stereotypical answers. If someone is satisfied by something like *that*, then it's probably OK to him/her. But for me, such answers are definitely not satisfying. I want *more*. I search for more. And I *get* more! (-:

So, for me is indeed much cheaper to pay for a "readymade" answer, than to *work* on it a bit, using *own* head, and *own* capabilities, to get *right* what is wanted.

Why the hell would someone have to "hide" something, just because he is a "standard member"? Where such a "logic" is coming from?

And what this "cheap" means in terms of accepting it as something "good" for female members, and as something "bad" for male ones? Are you aware what the message it delivers to *women*? They *are* acceptable as being "cheap" ("standard members") by default. Terrible.

So, a woman who use her brain, and is having some elementary dignity, reading such a "categorization", definitely will not accept herself as a "cheap" "product" and hardly would contact a men with a such attitude, and "reasoning".

I am deeply convinced in one thing: the members' qualities and personalities will not be improved by any price they pay for membership. These are some things which cannot be bought by any money; one has to *work* on them, to invest some *effort*, to utilize some *personal* qualities. (-: Who lacks it, cannot make any real "contact". You can "buy" a whore, an "escort", but, isn't then a street much more appropriate place for such sort of...encountering? Here, as I know people search for friends, a trustful sexual partners, basicaly and by definition.

I, for instance, am a standard (male! the "cheap one", who "hides something" wink! wink!) member. (-; And am just in a phase of "probing" how things go here, and what sorts of members are on disposal. Well...pretty heterogeneous crowd. Just in few days I saw all sorts of behaviors, reasonings, attitudes, approaches. Some of them I liked, but definitely there are other ones too.

I still am not sure whether a paid membership will pay for me... It indeed *might* happen that I will have "more contacts", but, again, since the members' qualities definitely and obviously cannot be bought, nor guaranteed, by any paid membership, I am a bit reluctant as to what sort of these "busted" "contacts" could bring to me, and in what *bad* ways *as well* it could occupy my time, and spoil my, basically cheerful, mood.

I here am not because I cannot find a "woman". (-: Or because I need a "whore". I am searching for a very specific woman, I could have a really good time, sexually of course, in a way I prefer it. And this way is a *safe* way. By "safe", I here mean *a woman who use her brain*. Because, to the one who do not use it, *no* money will help, and *no* "protection" will work.

Brainless women I have under my hand, here, in huge amounts. It's enough to me to go outside and to pickup 2 or 5 at once. But, I do not need just a "sex, sex, sex..." (-; I needed it in my...teens and twenties. (:

And since I would like to say more, about this topic, I'll "port" the rest of my musings and considerations to my Blog. You are all welcome to visit, and to read it. (-: Have a nice stay.

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