Complete Idiot's Guide to Initial Contact  

SleekIcilyVarix 42M
1024 posts
5/31/2006 10:14 am
Complete Idiot's Guide to Initial Contact

It seems like each day, I read a woman's blog and there's a new message about the abundance of guys who, with their first enticing email, send a pic of their pecker with a line like "You'll love my cock. Let's meet for a hot fuck." (or something eerily similar)
From what I've seen on the blogs, that's not the glowing first impression that's going to get you a positive response. While that may work for some of you guys, I'm betting your positive to negative response ratio could use some improvement. Also, it's clear that to the ladies who get bombarded with that shit, it gets old FAST.
Until now, when reading such posts of annoyance by the ladies, all I've done is belittle the transgressors that are described therein.
Instead, what I'd like to do is write a

Complete Idiot's Guide to Initial Contact.
(I'll come up with a friendlier, non-copyright infringing title later)

I've got some ideas on how to help these misguided souls.
However, I need your help.

Input Request from the Ladies

1) If you've already posted on your blog about this subject, leave a link to the post as a comment here.
Additional thoughts and examples are both welcome and appreciated.
2) Examples of initial emails from guys that Worked For You. They intrigued you, they said just the right things, they evoked a positive response from you. How did they do it?

Input Request from the Guys

1) You've been more creative, more tactful, and more user friendly when initiating contact through our message system here. You've gotten positive responses. What are examples or tips you've got for the Complete Idiots of Initial Contact?

The Goals:
1) Provide the Guys with Useful Tips for getting More Positive Responses.
2) Put at least a small dent toward reducing the number of thoughtless Pecker messages. (This may be unattainable, but hey, it's worth a shot).
3) Simply to get more guys to READ profiles and tailor their messages accordingly.

Topics I intend to cover:

*Profiles-Read them, Understand them, Use them to Connect
*Making a First Impression with your brain instead of your dick
*Sending a message that will invoke interest instead of annoyance or outright disgust
*Innuendo vs. Crude invitations for sex
*Pictures-Do's, Don'ts, and Whens
*How to Handle Rejection or No Response Gracefully instead of Lashing Out with a Bruised Ego
*Other topics that come up as a result of this post

I'm not a player, I'm not Cassanova, I'm not Hitch, I'm not the Authority on the Subject. However, I do think that I'm capable of utilizing the resources you offer with ideas of my own to make a set of guidelines that will be helpful to the guys initiating contact and the women who receive their messages, hopefully to the benefit of all.

Effort in futility? Good idea? Bad idea? Already been done to no avail? Let me know what you think.

HotTXpussy4U 49F

5/31/2006 12:28 pm

Oh My!! - WHERE do I sign up? I'm not sure your post can handle all of the links to the blogs I've mentioned this subject in.

So - I will be back...... GET READY!

And I keep all the emails of the good ones - - So I can play on both sides of this fence!

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 5/31/2006 1:34 pm:
Great! I look forward to seeing what you've got

HotTXpussy4U 49F

5/31/2006 9:06 pm

Just received in my INBOX - (can't make this stuff up)

"You Jane. Me like you. Me strong and make love long time. Me smart and cute. Please you long time. We make jungle love. Me funny too. Just see me profile! Tarzan leaving jungle of Montana and travel to Dallas. Tarzan want to meet you Jane and make wild jungle love in jungle of Dallas. Tarzan will swing down there June 26-28. Jane want Tarzan?"

I'm NOT Jane and I don't want to see your banana!!!

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 5/31/2006 9:49 pm:
lol at Tarzan. Too funny.

HotTXpussy4U 49F

5/31/2006 9:09 pm

But this one - I am meeting soon. We've had a few emails - and he can carry on a conversation. This was his first email. I liked it because he took the time to read my profile - and made his email personal.

"Dear Hot - Well, you said you read all your emails. Guess we'll see. You ARE hot and I would like to get to know you better. Me -- I'm a pretty average guy. I'm tall, athletic, brown hair & eyes, love the outdoors, romantic and appreciate a beautiful woman. I live close to downtown Dallas and have a great view of the skyline. One of my fantasies is to make love on my roof top patio -- sound intersting? Check out my profile and if you see what you like, email me back. I would love to take you to dinner and get to know you -- you sound really fun.
(name withheld)

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 5/31/2006 9:51 pm:
great example of a First Email from someone approaching with his brain leading the way. Hope your rendezvous with him goes splendidly Thanks for sharing these!

rm_Ellenback 59F
966 posts
5/31/2006 9:36 pm

Fire, I have written about this very subject, from the woman's point of view: Braced, Unlaced, and Ready for You to TASTE

Also, here's an example of an email that intrigued me, and I plan on meeting this guy soon..Guys, you gotta sell your self, it's a race to the finish line, and it's pockmarked by sex, but it SOO AIN'T ABOUT SEX...GET IT? Not in the initial stages!! Grab my attention with your brain, and I'll end up on your post...LOL

Hey Babe: I agree, enuff winks. But I must explain.
You are a Standard member and you can't send emails.
And yet you just did?? I was a standard member for a month and I couldn't, so how can you? I didn't send you any emails because I knew (or thought) that you couldn't respond. So, it's a little confusing. I sent you winks so you would know I was interested. I was even in your blog the other day to see if there was a way to connect there. So, I apologize for my confusion.
Hi Ellen, how are you? (lol) Nice to hear from you. Thanks.
Yes by all means let's chat. I will write to you at the address you sent me. Soon! (like Monday)
Take care, (name withheld)

Love the confusion, as I'm a 'helper', and notice there's no mention of sex, nor has there been in any previous emails, and also, notice that he mentioned he had been trying to think of a way to contact me for a long time!!!...that's for private time talk, not the initial emails - e.g., this one, below, where the guy I'm sure is sweet, but geez...

hi sweet
how are you
I like your profile
my pleasure to take care of you and make you happy , look sweet , I am an honest man who consider woman like a pearl , diamond .I am so hot and a sensual man am so hot man and have a big one ,I love to suck all your body especially your lovely breast ,, if u like to feel flying in the heaven ,plz contact me nowHave a great time . (name UNNOTICED!)

Ummmm...only one breast is going to be sucked? COUNT ME OUT!!!




SleekIcilyVarix replies on 5/31/2006 9:57 pm:
lol at just one breast getting attention from Le Inflated Ego. Thanks for sharing those. These are the kinds of examples I'm looking for. I admire Confused's honesty about being confused.

SleekIcilyVarix 42M

6/1/2006 6:55 am

hmmm. That's part of the reason I'm hesitant to invest my time and energy in such a project. It does sound futile. I think in some ways the Crap will Pour In no matter what I write. The guys who don't bother reading profiles likely don't bother reading blogs or much of anything else. I'm thinking maybe if I get enough input, go ahead with it, write it, at the very least, it could be a Read This for the ladies to stick in their auto-reply message, and the lightbulb might dawn on a few who read it. At most (and this may be a wee too ambitious) is I'd submit the finished product to luvpump...there is nothing in the Help section for Quick Tips for Success, unless I missed it when I looked, or possibly something to be thrown into the umm, oft read Passion welcome message.
Here's hoping the guys trying to make like Winnie the Pooh and get a smackerel of huny send ya more decent letters and less crap.

clitalicious67 50F

6/2/2006 12:43 am

I think it boils down to reading the profiles of others and respecting what is said in them... I have talked to that in my blog but many don't read the profiles comepletely or ignore what is written...

Good Luck


SleekIcilyVarix replies on 6/2/2006 10:30 pm:
Thanks...maybe I should be making a Profile Literacy Quiz that potential members have to take before their emailing function is enabled. lol. Still, I figure it can't hurt to try. It's a work in progress.

ButteryDelight 59F

6/2/2006 11:40 am

What annoys me is the cock pictures. I know you have THAT. But, what about the face and maybe a thinking brain? I usually don't even read the emails that have only cock pictures. Also, I have to agree with clitalicious and Mizhuny. Please! At least read my profile before you email me.

Buttery Delight (BD)

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 6/2/2006 10:33 pm:
Hiya butter...yeah, *everything* you said seems to be a common complaint. Thanks for sharing.

meerkittykat 43F

6/3/2006 2:19 am

ok..this just showed me that I need to index my blog, cos I did do a post on this and I have no clue where it is.

But a man I saw do a great post on this subject is Kaliedascope61Kaliedascope61 in his post "How to pick up women on the blogs revised and revisited"

I got an email from a guy who basically said, "I know you're into women, so what you really need is a wingman. We can scout for the other." It was hularious, and I immediately liked him. Humor and creativity go a long way.

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 6/3/2006 1:09 pm:
Thanks Meer..I'll check out Kali's post. Cheers to having a good wingman

HotTXpussy4U 49F

6/3/2006 8:52 pm

Check out the email in my "Filtered" box tonight...... Not sure what he saw in my profile to make him think I was into this -

"Loved your profile. Im (name) and I have a love of sloppy seconds. Nothing tastes of feels better than a woman's holes after she has been fucked by other guys. Needless to say I like when a woman fucks men, and I get her after. I would love to get to know you better.
I live in (some other state), but work out of Dallas regularly. You can email me her or at (name on the Y), or you can call or text me at (phone #).

I'm totally grossed out.... but whatever floats their boat!

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 6/4/2006 1:18 am:
lol..groty...another shining example. He must've hallucinated the part of your profile where you explain at length your love of gangbangs. A definite contender for the Email Hall of Shame.

BlondieEuro 54F

6/6/2006 7:52 pm

Well I like the cock pics, sorry to be so brash. However if they are not interested enough to look at my profile well I am not enticed. Also if there conversation consists of throwing the cam in my face, well there deleted. If they talk to me and want to get to know me, and dont ask for the cam. I will cam with them and go to the next level of getting to know them.
However the other day I got an email from a guy saying he was moving into a new office in the city and looking for day time rendevouz. Well, I notice nothing said about him beign single. So I knocked him back because unless there single, Im not interested: not doing the wifees job whilst she gets all the benefits, Ha Ha. Well he sent me an email saying he was a mult-millionaire and it was a pitty that we will never know now. Well I was furious. I sent him one back saying Im not interested in marrieds and that Im not a gold digger. Just looking for the right guy. Also if he was so rich, why is he only a standard member. Well the mind boggles on this one. I dont jump for people because they are rich, and it doesnt give them credabilty to access me in anyway. Blondie XXX

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 6/6/2006 9:01 pm:
There's nothing wrong with enjoying the dick pics, I'm sure you're not the only one by far. My point is that if they want a genuine shot at their first message illiciting a positive response, like you said, there has to be something more attached to the dick, something more than a desire to fuck: an interest in getting to know YOU, in order to get to the next level of getting to know them. Thanks for sharing the "millionaire" story. Gave me some good ideas on the matching your strengths to profiles front and makes me think of the Beatles song "Can't Buy Me Love"

rdy2try4 52F  
3129 posts
6/15/2006 1:30 pm

This will be a never ending choice...dick pic or not. YES, there are those that like them and those that don't. HOWEVER...I agree with Fire...even if you LIKE there anyone that truly sees ONLY that dick and ignores he is a stinky asshole or a bastard just because he has a dick?? WILL want a face photo. If you go to a bar you don't recognize ANYONE by a penis shot. ALL men have dicks, but you don't see it in a bar or restaurant. I have no wish to have my face in your crotch whenever we are together and not have to see anything else. Men may like that idea..but not most women.

As for emails...check out my blogs and the lists of the 3 worst and 1 best categories I have by clicking here---> rdy2try4

They are...

#1...BEST emails.
#2...Lame, boring, and just plain stupid.
#3...A Polite no thank you can cause this.
#4...Unsolicited HATE emails.

I have taken to doing this in the same vane as Fire. Hoping that men will see what is the most common mistakes (i.e. *wanna f*ck emails* etc,...) and how stupid they sound with some of the shit they send. Bragging about explosions, juices all over, comparisons to fruits, and tales of beating us up for some. NO ONE is going to go out with you if you whine, beg, or look for pity either. And an insult at the end of a no thank you only makes you look dumber. lol But the unsolicited ones...the worst. I could only HOPE that these assholes do get seen and avoided.

I have told AdultFriendFinder that the lines of "get laid in 24 hours" and "sign in and start making immediate sexual connections" misleads the ignorant and no brain penis thinkers to believe that we are all so horny we can't control ourselves and will jump on the first penis that asks. They truly think no one else has shown a dick but if you do a search as "women seeking men" you see 1000's of dicks. Uh....really..with 1000 dicks infront of me "I" need something else to choose a person that will NOT use me and abuse me as a cum depository. Truly, if the ads were a little tamer the guys man not get the impression we are desperate for any dick that asks.

Good job again Fire!!!

SleekIcilyVarix replies on 6/16/2006 1:35 pm:
Thanks Rdy Your input has led to many an update.

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