One Is Not The Loneliest Number  

Fallic40 54M
3214 posts
1/20/2006 1:26 pm
One Is Not The Loneliest Number

I have to admit that I like living alone. Being alone, does not mean that I am lonely. I have always been that way, and after 42 years, I probably always will. My life is not diminished by being a loner. I have plenty of friends should I choose to go out to dinner or go to the pub. I have plenty of invitations to go to parties, holiday dinners and family events. And truth be told, if I want to find a woman to sleep with, well that is not overly difficult either. I often feel that my self-esteem is good because I am alone. I love myself and thusly have the capacity to love others.

I learnt to be alone very early in life as I grew up Catholic in an Anglican area. I went to a school where you were sent in a form of “religious walk of shame” to the library when everyone else had Religious Knowledge class. I grew up Irish in an area where the IRA was continually letting off bombs. I had friends but I learnt to keep thoughts and opinions to myself.

I learnt to be alone when I came to America and found out very quickly that talking different was just like looking different and I got to wear the same bull’s-eye here that I wore in London. There is a mindset in many that it is not racism if the other person is white too.

I gradually retreated into myself and my space as my marriage went from bad, to very bad, to worse. And since I was a loner, I was never questioned about the cuts and the bruises that were inflicted by my wife. Everyone just considered them a result of working in sheet metal and playing soccer. I was never compelled to share the things my wife said to me. All in all, being a loner simplified a lot of things for me.

And now, at 42, I am a confirmed bachelor. I am not a lothario who goes out with one gorgeous woman after another. I am not seeking that incredible 22 year old to spend all of my money for me. I can do that quite well on my own, thank you: plus I have my two Nordstrom nymphs in training who are very capable of disposing of cash. And anyway, ladies my own age are far better company and much superior in bed. If I choose to spend a weekend without emerging from my house, nobody questions it. If I go to a restaurant by myself with a book, I feel neither shame nor embarrassment.

Most of all, I like being alone because I am beholden to nobody. I choose to live as I wish. My apartment runs between very clean and spotless. I eat well because I choose to cook well and avoid a lot of processed foods. I enjoy my hobbies and can indulge them at will. I never have to fight with anyone over the decorating colors (red in the kitchen and dining room, red and gold in the living room, and dark brown, gold and red in the bedroom) or where all the money went, or what to watch on television. Most important of all, my thoughts are my own and I can share them as I feel the need to share them.


I have to admit that I hate sleeping alone. How is that for a paradox?

rm_beturgood 61F
5 posts
1/20/2006 9:42 pm

I'm with you love, living alone is fine. Nothing wrong there. Been doing it myself for 25 years. Like it much. Once in awhile I think about how it would be to have that "warm body" to sleep next to on a regular basis. But doing just fine the way things are. Perhaps that could change? And can I adapt? Sometimes we get set in our ways. Oh well, just play the hand that's delt ya I always say......

_Safira 55F
11260 posts
1/22/2006 6:37 am

Fallic ~ I love being alone, together with you. Let's continue to enjoy our "meaningful singleness," my dear!

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.


Fox4aKnight1 44F

1/22/2006 6:18 pm

I agree with you Falic......being alone is good .....yet again the loneliness of not having someone there to fall asleep next to or waking up to is no wish could have the best of both worlds *sigh*

rm_impish_pixie 55F
6867 posts
1/22/2006 7:43 pm

I hate sleeping alone too...I suppose Maggie does her best to allieviate that - but...well...she's not much of a cuddler. I don't mind being alone otherwise - and I certainly don't mind going to eat with my favorite book. Though in truth - it would be nice to have someone to melt into at the end of a hard day and someone to just talk to.

BTW..Everytime I hear the Geiko commercials now I can only think of on your part. ANd...I would have never treated you "ugly" because of your accent...on the contrary it would have "melted" me on the spot.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

womanoirish 55F

1/24/2006 1:01 am

Excellent post on living alone...and I share the same paradox about sleeping alone!

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/24/2006 4:19 pm

Beturgood, the adaptation question is a huge question, isn't it. Not only do I wonder if I could adapt, I wonder why I would even want to or need to adapt.

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/24/2006 4:22 pm

tennismaiden, the night time visitor concept is a really intriguing. Of course, the Hansen Brothers (plus One) would be a great impediment at this time.

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/24/2006 4:24 pm

Shaye, the only thing bad about eating on your own with a book is they always give you that piddly sized table by the kitchen door so that your book doesn't fit on the table if there is a plate there.

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/24/2006 4:25 pm

saf, "meaningful singleness" sounds so much better than being referred to as a "singleton" by The Sun

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/24/2006 4:28 pm

Fox4aKnight, what I find now is that as I have gotten older, I have moved more and more towards the middle of the bed. To me, this the subconscious acceptance of living a single life.

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/24/2006 4:32 pm

Imp, I have a pretty good support structure of people to talk to if I have a bad day. My oldest daughter can usually put anything into perspective. I also look at the positive side of this. i cannot take out a bad day on an unsuspecting person either.

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/24/2006 4:34 pm

womanoirish, thank you. I think that a lot of people are surprised that so many people live alone and are very content to live that way - without requiring 15 cats to feel fulfilled.

(Princess Lips)

1/24/2006 11:05 pm

kudos to you baby


enjoy the bed by yourself...


*imagine me next to you*
if you get lonley...



Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
1/25/2006 1:03 pm

redlips, thanks. Imagination is good: reality is better.

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