Alright Kev, I Need A Big Booth, 9 Pints Of Beer And Something To Snack On  

Fallic40 54M
3214 posts
2/23/2006 10:40 am
Alright Kev, I Need A Big Booth, 9 Pints Of Beer And Something To Snack On

I was doing some thinking the other day. I know, I know, such things are frowned upon in polite society. But after a while the searing pain stopped, the nosebleed created from such intense masculine thought ceased flowing, the ears stopped ringing and I was once again left to ruminate on the flood of randomness running through my brain.

Friday night is pub night for me unless pressing business with my girls pushes it into second place. I have a regular table there. Around it sit my oldest friends. We have mundane conversations. All in all, it is a very “Cheers” like existence: and I am very thankful for that evening of normalcy.

One of the most important attributes of this group is that there are actually some sparkling conversationalists in this group and we discourse on such life altering things as pigeon racing (“you know, it’s really hard to get the tiny spandex shorts on the little fuckers” growing aubergines (“eggplant, fuckin’ eggplant, what the fuck is that?" ) and, of course, football (soccer to the un-British). And while many of the conversations are 25 years old now, we also have some new conversations. One of the best that we have had lately was “who would you like to walk through the door and join us for a pint and a chat?”

For me, I have nine individuals who came to mind as people who I would love the opportunity to sit down and talk with about their lives and their professions. Since I am not overly political in that I am not eligible to vote in the US, I have no politicians on the list. I also had no authors on my list. I did have two musicians, one comedic genius, one chef, two actors, one basketball player turned pundit, one soccer player turned manager, and one soccer manager. Several of these individuals will be totally unknown in this country.

Sean Bean I think directors sit around with casting agents and say “We need someone heroic yet tragic, a manly man, someone British” and then they go and get Sean Bean. Many people have seen him as Boromir in the first “Lord of the Rings” film. He has also starred on TV as Sharpe, a hero of the Napoleonic Wars. He has played a James Bond bad guy also. His talent is limitless which is good because he not “fashionable” in Hollywood. He will be one of those great “character” actors who always make hundreds of movies and collect a Best Supporting Actor Oscar in their dotage. My question for him would be “Have you ever thought of taking the big bucks for a crappy movie?”

Bobby Flay This man would be the chef that I would want to cook for me. I would love to present him with a salmon fresh from the Wilson River, a grill and a tribe of friends and see what comes in to being. In many ways, he reminds me of Gordon Ramsay but with the brilliance and the temperament all operating on the same wave length. He has that New York seeming attitude of impatience with rubes and hicks (known everywhere else as non-New Yorkers) but like most of the people of that city, really he would be a blast to hang and chat with. My question for him is actually one I like to ask any good chef, “Have you ever gone after a customer who sent food back to the kitchen?” So Shaye, have you?

Alex Lifeson Since the early, and tragic, death of Stevie Ray Vaughan, this man is my number one guitar hero. I have been a Rush fan since the late ‘70s and have struggled to play many of their famous pieces such as “2112”, “Broon’s Bane”, “Closer To The Heart” and “Subdivisions”. He uses a lot of classical guitar structuring in his music which appeals to me since I took years of classical guitar classes. He also will often be playing bass pedals while playing guitar. My first question for him is “How close has Rush ever been to hiring a keyboard player so that the band can concentrate on playing only one instrument at a time?” My next question for him would be “can I have a copy of your set up book?” I would also want to know where I can get a 6 and 12 string combination accoustic guitar just like his.

Jose Mourinho aka “The Chosen One” Arrogant, brilliant, mesmerizing are all adjectives thrown at the Armani clad manager of Chelsea Football Club. He is my age and at the pinnacle of his profession: Chelsea won the Premier League title last year and they are running away with the title again this year. He already has a Champion’s League title with Porto and has the will to dominate European football for the next two decades. I admire him for his ability to demand excellence from himself. My question for him would be, “Have you ever told Roman Abramovich (billionaire Chelsea owner) to go fuck himself?”

John Cusack Much like Sean Bean movies; I always go into a movie that has John Cusack expecting it to be entertaining and very good. My favorite movie of his is Grosse Point Blank which he also wrote and produced. Both of my daughters love him in the John Hughes’ films as well as in his “grown up” movies. My question for him would be “Does Minnie Driver kiss really well, and can I have her number?”

Charles Barkley I find “Sir Charles" to be a truly compelling figure in American sport. He is a man who is extremely glib and articulate yet capable of being a crashing boor and crass all at the same time. He speaks “the gospel according to Charles Barkley" and I find much of what he says to be interesting: as well as contentious. I admire him for his forthright speech. “Do you believe everything that you say?”

Eddie Izzard For anyone who has never heard of this “executive transvestite” comedic genius, rent his stand up performance “Dressed To Kill” and then see him as a serious actor in “Kiss of the Vampire”. Whereas Robin Williams has become cliched and annoying, this man is very lucid and incredibly relevant. Such pieces as “Tea and cake … or death” showing his “view” on rampant Anglican fundamentalism, “Mass murdering fuckheads” which is his take on Hitler, Pol Pot and Stalin, and “flags” showing how colonialism came to be are just a few of his original thoughts. Expect to be outraged, angered and inspired by his mind. My question for him is “Your lipstick is the same color as Saf’s, do you know her?” (just kidding). Actually it would be “Do you believe in a hopeful future or do you see humanity doomed to just repeat itself: that there could be another Eddie Izzard in 200 years talking about the same things?”

Tommy Lee He is one of the most enigmatic talents in music. He is actually a very good drummer, a strong song writer and producer. He is also a wastrel and hedonist on the scale of Caligula: or so his press would have you believe. My question for him would be “Do you regret allowing the myth of Tommy Lee eclipse the talent of Tommy Lee? Would you market yourself differently if you could do it all again?”

Stuart (Psycho) Pearce This man is my favorite footballer of all time. I have idolized him for twenty plus years. Attached to my toolbox lid are pictures of my daughters and nephew, and pictures of Stuart Pearce playing soccer. He played as an outside defender at the same time that I started playing that position and my game was modeled on his. His nickname came from his maniacal intensity on the field rather than for crazy behavior. He was worshipped by the fans where ever he played because he was a bricklayer before he was discovered by Nottingham Forest. He was uncompromising in the tackle but not dirty. He represented England for years with incredible passion and pride. Now he is the manager of Manchester City FC and is already creating an upwardly mobile team molded by his work ethic and talent. He is the Bill Cowher of English football. The Man City fans love him just for the way he manages a game: he talks to the fans during the game and shows all his emotions all of the time. He shows that he loves what he is doing. He is one of life’s winners. My question for him would be “Have you ever failed at anything, and what did you do about it?”

So have you heard of all of these men, and I deliberately kept it limited to men as my synapses are already firing on a feminized version of this post. Are there any questions that you would want to ask them? Also, most of these individuals are very close in age to me. I would want to talk to men who I relate too. Above all else, I think that they would have something to say to me.

Of all the people listed above, my number one choice for a pint and a chat would be Stuart Pearce. He is the one in the picture not wearing a tie. The one in the tie is “The Chosen One”

(Princess Lips)

2/23/2006 11:24 am

*pouts* you don't want a pint with me?


Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
2/23/2006 11:52 am

redlips, I don't somehow think you are a guy? Although, Eddie Izzard does wear red lipstick, this is my list of guys to have a drink with. I see you as much more of a dinner date.

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
2/24/2006 8:30 am

but Chef Shaye, you didn't answer my question. Have you ever taken umbrage at a customer sending food back?

I think Eddie Vedder would be fascinating to sit and talk with. Viggo Mortenson would be interesting as well, although I think he may suffer a bit from Heath Ledger disease and be rather quiet.

I had thought about putting Bono on my list. But if he was present, then no-one else would be talking. Another name removed from my short list was Paul Levesque (aka Triple H). I think he would be really interesting to talk to about the business side of wrestling.

_Safira 54F
11260 posts
2/26/2006 5:24 pm

I'd want to visit with all of your mates and ask them questions about YOU.


This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.


Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
2/27/2006 12:10 pm

Saf, so which famous men would you want to sit and talk too?

whats4dessert2 50M

2/27/2006 9:37 pm

If I actually had the ability to go back through time I'd love to have a pint or 12 with the coolest man to have ever lived during my lifetime...Dean Martin

I also think that it would be an absolute riot to toss back a few with Vinnie Jones (Assuming he wouldn't kick my ass)

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
2/28/2006 8:21 am

whats4dessert, unfortunately Vinnie doesn't drink anymore but he would still be a blast to talk too - probably a lot like talking to my mate Paul. I have watched a lot of Vinnie Jones's soccer matches over the years and I hate to admit it, but he also influenced much of the dirtier side of my game. (My father was the other major influence on that aspect - he had a "solution" to every forward.)

Deano would be a blast too, but I wanted to try and restrict it to people who were a) still alive, and b) somewhere close to my age.

Another person who I would have had on my list get to the bar would be Phil "The Power" Taylor - the World Darts Champion. However, I have had a pint with him as well as a game of darts so I couldn't put him on the list.

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