Pumping my brakes  

EthicalPlayer 45M
123 posts
6/6/2006 2:06 am

Last Read:
6/19/2006 11:00 pm

Pumping my brakes

I haven't really had much to add to this blog recently. Nothing remarkable going on. I've been busy with work, football, and family-life.

I had an interesting discussion in one of the polyamory groups a few weeks ago that gave me some perspective. I introduced myself to the group and mentioned how uncertain I was and that I was "trying out" the polyamory scene, which was a pretty ignorant thing to say.

Saying that I was trying out polyamory was no different than a straight person saying, "I think I'll try out homosexuality," or vice-versa. People may "try out" the swinger scene. People might "try out" one-night stands or sport-fucking. Folks don't try-out polyamory, because you either love someone or you don't. In love, even with multiple partners, there is no "try".

In any case, after setting me straight on my misconception, I think the last words of the moderator were, "OK, so you believe you're polyamorous, now relax," which was the best advice I've had on the subject so-far.

But his words got me wondering... am I polyamorous, or am I just another hornball trying to get-in where I fit-in as often as possible? Looking back n my past experiences, I'd say that I'm a little of both.

I've had emotional attachments to every women I've been with, except for a six-month, misogynistic phase I went through shortly after an ex-girlfriend broke my heart. But aside from that, I've always had a vested affection for the women I became intimate with, even if it was just a friendship. Yet, I also proved that I can act on lust alone. I guess I'm a hodgepodge of sexual quirkiness.

I've learned that I enjoy every facet of the subtle nuances of sex; the sensual energies of the flirt, the chase, the savoring and indulging completely in the joy of every tingle, the unique scent of a woman who has become aroused by our combined actions, the primal sounds that begin in her diaphragm and travel to her vocals and tongue as her body involuntarily bears-down for yet another orgasm, the perspiration that forces our bodies to slide against one another and combine with other fluids to stain the sheets, the biting, the clawing, the grappling for more leverage to plunge deeper... it's all so very lovely. But for me, when combined with genuine feelings and emotions, these lovely facets are magnified tenfold.

I like sex. I also like sharing love. And there's nothing wrong with having either, both, or neither, as long as I'm making the choices without compromising my own integrity.

Based on this self-examination, I've taken a few steps back and returned to my basic method of taking it slow and steady. Initially, as I observed all of the aggressive sexual action on this site, I started getting ahead of myself. While there's nothing wrong with consensual sexual aggression, as a guy with a passive, calm, easy-going demeanor, I began trying to become something I'm not. That was a mistake.

I'm still looking... just not as hard.

I'm keeping the pictures up though. Hell, I might add more!

Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
6/6/2006 9:18 am

This is a great post! I'm glad you're slowing down and taking things at a pace that works best for you.


EthicalPlayer replies on 6/6/2006 5:41 pm:
God, I want you... uhm... I mean... thanks for the comment!

bipolybabe 56F

6/7/2006 8:45 pm

Look, people who define themselves as "poly" may be as rigid about their definitions as the monogamous crowd. We only limit our sexuality by creating labels.

So, let's just be sexual beings, trying to figure it out, okay?

BiPolyBAbe (who accepts no labels but applies a few to make it easier for people to get a fucking clue)


Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

EthicalPlayer replies on 6/7/2006 8:48 pm:
This is very sound advice. Thank you very much for your insight!

lustcurious42 58F

6/11/2006 1:51 pm

I am enjoying your blog........thank you for sharing and like yourself, I am finding where it is that I fit in!!

EthicalPlayer replies on 6/11/2006 8:34 pm:
I'm glad you're enjoying my blog, and I hope you find where you fit!

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