Letting Go  

ElizabethAgain 40F
128 posts
4/18/2006 9:35 pm

Last Read:
4/25/2006 7:18 pm

Letting Go

My biggest problem is not being able
to let go
when someone wants to move on.

It happens to me with men
and with women.
I ask myself
What am I?
A lighthouse
For everyone else's voyage.

I get pulled into their current
and loose my ability to swim.
I cease to see the shore
and forget
where I was heading.

It gets harder not to drown
when he lets go of me.
Somehow I always avoid the men
who wouldnt do that to me.
Its my natural talent
for fucking myself up.

Weeks after someone left
I still think
she's coming back any day.
Then tomorrow becomes yesterday.
Im not fooling myself

8337 posts
4/18/2006 10:40 pm

How do the circumstances change when it's a man versus when it's a woman who moves on?

Does it bother you more when it's a man or a woman?

What specific qualities would draw you to a man versus a woman?


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

frangipanigal 46F
10406 posts
4/18/2006 10:45 pm

I have the same problem....I always need closure and not everyone is capable of giving it to us.

Feeling for you.


rm_1SweetBitch 56F
8575 posts
4/18/2006 10:45 pm

You are a beautiful woman...if they want to move on let them go mentally, and emotionally...there is better around the corner.

No Day Is So Bad It Can't Be Fixed With Great Sex!

1 SweetBitch

rm_Colleridge 54M

4/19/2006 12:58 am

I wonder what 'letting go' means - both for others and me.

Is it acceptance? I think it is. I think it is because, illogically, in my time I've found bereavement easier than heartbreak. And the only explanation I can uncover is related to acceptance. Firstly, that one is more overtly final than the other. Secondly that there is no need to 'understand' death - but someone leaving is something I've always needed to understand.

wordscumeasy 48M

4/19/2006 6:06 am

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to forget, losing one's memory of good and bad times is nigh on impossible.

There has been much written and said throughout the ages about heartbreak, grief and sorrow and no matter the time, the epoch, the language or culture those words and feelings have been set down for all to see in, they all have one thing in common: time is a healer, good times, better times are just around the corner, they say.

But here's the thing. What happens when time stands still? What happens when the clock ticks and nothing happens? When the alarm goes off in the morning for instance at that same old hour that it's been chiming for years, and yet today is different - because today at 6am she or he is not there beside you in your bed. They are gone. Or when the clock ticks and the bells chime and that moment comes when that "someone", that part of you, should walk through the door, return to your arms, but they don't - because they are gone. Missing. Living a new life - a new life of their choosing. Or perhaps they have gone for good. Returned to become the carbon matter that created them in the first place.

What is this about? Why do we put ourselves through this agony of not letting go? You know why? No? You know why, Liz, you struggle to move on, take a breath and escape the past? Because you have a soul. Because you have a conscience. Because you have feelings. Because you have a heart. Because you are good.

So, as twisted as it sounds, enjoy these moments. Enjoy them because this is your heart, body, mind and soul telling you clearly that you are ALIVE. The pain, the anguish, it might be hard to take at times, but roll with it. And never, never, ever, beat yourself up about it. Never harden. Don't change. You are exceptional and beautiful. And time is on your side.

Take care...

dontusejelly 39M
1 post
4/20/2006 3:22 am

Hi Liz, i've seen your blog a few times but haven't yet made a post or contact to you..here goes...

People often quote the adage that 'whatever doesn't kill/harm you only makes you stronger'. Well I believe that to a certain point and I'm sure, from reading some of your posts, that you do too. However, the problem with this is that once you've lived through the occurrence (i.e. relationship break down) several times, then it no longer makes you stronger - you've already been strengthened by it. It starts to become annoying and frustrating because you feel as though you should know better and break the pattern you find yourself in...

Some of it is just the nature of human beings and our social interactions with each other; the other part is probably something that you need to address at a personal level, that "natural talent
for fucking myself up"
as you say. It may not be your inability to let go so much as it's the choice of relationships that lead to this. Perhaps the men and women that wouldn't do this to you might be considered boring, unexciting, non-sexual. However, I'm sure that there are some genuine men and women out there that would be attractive (mentally and physically) to you and considerate at the same time.
If it's something that is really getting you down theN you should consider what's important and what type of relationships you want and with whom? You've got intelligence on your side and I'm sure you'll find a solution to improve, or at least deal with, this problem. YOU SHOULD NEVER BE A LIGHTHOUSE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S VOYAGE

P.S. when you are having trouble letting go how much do you listen to the words in songs and relate them back to your own situation? Someone, somewhere has gone through the same hardship, pain, loss as you and it's reassuring to know that you're not the only one..

meerkittykat 43F

4/25/2006 5:51 pm

After 3 1/2 years I moved on with the symbolic "toss the ring into the river" move. I know I've moved on where I'm less concerned with tossing away a memory than wondering if it made it to the river and some high school kid's gonna find it and give it to his girlfriend.

Good Post

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