Is there really a forever?  

Elegant_N_Nasty 50F
586 posts
3/21/2006 5:53 pm
Is there really a forever?

Well let me begin by saying,sometimes a bad situation turns out to be a good thing. As you all know the past few days(more like a week)has been really tough on me. I was starting to wonder if I was going to live or not. the grace of GOD here I am.

During my scary time of living with the unknown.. I told my kids (who never left my side) that I was afraid of dying alone. Without experiencing true love again. I was devestated to think that my life would end NOW... as it is. Single.. not loving anyone but my family... and being loved by no one other than my family.

I am a very passionate woman with so much to give and share with the RIGHT man. And it would be a shame to die now. So.. I made a commitment to my self to fight for the dream of my "happily ever after". Meaning... get the blood pressure under control..exercise more, eat right and laugh more.

For the past few days I have been so tired and still not feeling well enough to even update my blog. Yesterday I was only able to work a half day..and then I went and seen my granddaughter. She makes everything better. After a few minutes with her I came home at 2:30 yesterday and went to sleep...slept til 6:30...BIG power nap.. When I got up I was still feeling tired but got out and went to the market and fixed dinner for me and Taira. We had baked chicken, baked potato and a salad. All with low sodium toppings and dressing. Then she laid on the sofa watching TV and talking on the phone... like all 11 yr old girls do. I got online for a few minutes and decided to research HBP info. While answering some emails ..I started chatting with my friend Bons in SA. She was sorry to hear I was feeling so bad..but had to share with me her great weekend with a man she met online. It was great hearing from her and hearing that FINALLY she got a good one and had a fabulous weekend with him.

Yep, I was a little green with envy after she told me they went to a winery there in the hill county of Texas. I always wanted to do that...but so far it has not happened. While talking with her I got a IM from a man that I breifly recall chatting with a month or so ago. His IM simply read... "Are you ready to start over?". I was not sure what that meant..but replied "Yes". Not knowing who he really is.. I was willing to chat for a moment. Soon.. we were on the same page. When I asked what it is that he was "really" looking for... he replied with a simple answer. "FOREVER". Well at first I chucked..thinking, yeah right...aren't we all. Then I replied...that very thing. After several minutes of talking..I was asking why we had not talked before. He explained that he was going out of town and my granddaughter was being born so timing was off...and everytime he was online I wasn't and so on. Well.. we discussed meeting..and I told him I am willing. He said ok... let's start here... and gave me his number. I logged it into my phone, unsure if I was really gonna call or not. We talked for a while longer and before I knew it it was almost 11pm.

I logged off and went to bed... picked up my phone and called. That was the best thing that I had done in a very long time. From the moment I spoke....we laughed. I asked if it was "John" ..his relpy was..."NO, it is Midnight the cat"... I said "good that is who I was looking for"..we laughed together... and soon we were into conversations of family...friends.... and everywhere in between.

We were up til 3am talking on the phone. It was refreshing and fun to laugh and share so much with someone who had no hidden motives. He is a gentleman in everyway. We did NOT met on AdultFriendFinder but yet another site. Though we had breif introductory chats a month ago.. it was as if we had know each other for years.

He is a beleiver of "Happily ever after"..."Forever" and "Love". You can hear the passion in his voice,which makes him very unique.

Earlier in the conversation lastnight,.. I told him I was having issues with HBP. He too has HBP and has had it since he was 16. So, I actually learned alot from talking to him last night. He was supportive and understanding...also he gave me hope that I will survive.

When I went to bed last night..I was feeling great and that was a wonderful feeling, since I have been ill for a week. I got,maybe,2 hours sleep and then worked 10 hours today.... and I am not tired (as I had expected). I called him this morning on my way to the office... then he and I texted messaged each other all day. We spoke at lunch and again afer work.

Even IF.... we are nothing more than friends. I am SO glad I answered his IM. He is a wonderful man and has a heart of gold. all the doom and gloom... there lay a beautiful rainbow.. and his name is JOHN.

I told him this morning of my blog on this site. Warning him of my naughty side... He read my blogs and still wants to take a chance on me. I must say... he has no idea what he is instore for...ha ha ha!! I warned him I am damn picky..hard headed and naughty. So ya'll better wish him well.

Anyway,... it just goes to show. Take a chance... you never know where it might lead you. He is a new friend in my life.. and who knows where it will go. Maybe he is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!!! Then again...maybe that is wishful thinking on my behalf.

PS: Yes he is single!! And ladies he has a profile on here..but beware I NEVER share!!

Ok..I am off to a hot bath and I hope to be snuggled up in my nice warm bed very soon.

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