I'm back  

Dowd3 44M
45 posts
7/13/2006 9:59 am

Last Read:
7/15/2006 4:38 am

I'm back

It's been a very long two weeks. Even though I've been commenting here and there, I'm about spent. Problems with the ex that cased me to go to Mississippi staight from work on Friday (woke up at 10:00PM on Thursaday night and slept again at 1:30 or 2:00AM Saturday morning. My record for staying awake is 74 hours but that was a long time ago.) Problems with cars the whole way (tires, fuel pumps, more tires, bad reception on the radio, gas jumping fourty cents a gallon from start to finish, and worry, worry, worry about my girl gives daddy a lead foot.) I'm in the editing buisness again (a bit better this time.) And the handy-dandy, for-your-enjoyment, finest ass chewing machine telling me that she doesn't care if there is a child molester living with my daughter, we don't have the money to get her.

The things I do for the ones I care about.

What I would give for my old KZ1000 and a full tank of gas right now! I miss threading my way between storm cells, and watching the lightning bleach the midnight clouds in flashes of purple and white. I miss cruising along in air that shifts temperature as you cross the threshold of a front. I miss the sense that my headlight is the only one for literally a hundred of miles. I miss the sweet, damp smell of fields of corn beside the road, and the dry, dusty smell of winter wheat ready to harvest and golden in the sun (and grey-blue under the light of a full moon.) In other places I've strayed I miss the rich aroma of summer trees mere feet away from my racing bike.

It's been too long... and it'll be a while longer. I look back on the days of my misspent youth and see so much running. Running from boredom mostly, but that sort of thing gets in your system after awhile. The run for the Great Divide, the run for home when I lost a job as a custom cutter (my asthma almost killed me one night so my boss let me go,) the run to lakes and rivers, and the runs to and from college. Running is a part of me, but I have to ask if that was a bad thing?

When my daughter came along, it never occured to me to run. I stood and delivered unlike so many men I know and so unlike my natural insitnct, that I'm left wondering what happened eleven years ago? I don't regret an instant I spent with my girl, but I do regret that she has no idea what I was like before she came along. Would she still love me? Could she fall in step with my nomadic nature and embrace the wonders I dream about?

What would could she tell me about sunrise over the Bitteroots or thunderstorms churning across summer's night? Who would she meet? Would she be happy?

sexymom20069 49F

7/13/2006 2:14 pm

WELCOME BACK - I FOR ONE MISSED YOU and your postings.
Good Luck in your search for happiness. I am sure you will find it sooner or later hopefully sooner


rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
7/14/2006 8:38 am

I would betcha anything that she would love the nomadic you and all the things you were...you already have me captivated with your words...try them on her sometimes, if you haven't already

so much so I can taste the smell of the storm in the night air

you make me want to ride and watch the clouds

(Decided to stop in and say hi when I realized you indeed had a blog. Think you have been here longer than the blog? correct? seems like I looked once or twice when I ran into you over at Free's but you had no window in those other times)

Dowd3 44M

7/15/2006 4:38 am

Truth be known, my daughter gets this dazed look when I start talking like this. She's always excited to ride a bike, and when I gave her the choice between a Play Station 3 in the near future or a motorcycle of her own in the far future, she said without flinching, "So when do I get my bike?" (*Sniff* I'm so proud!) I'm not sure she would handle being away all that well though. She ordered me to take her to the mountains when she was five, and I've been dragging my feet in that regard. I intend to take her (even got a buddy that lives in Fort Collins I could crash with) but time and money get in the way.

To answer your question, I've been here since February, and I started the blog up a couple of months ago. Glad you stopped by.

Take care

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