50 Things Men Will Never Hear Women Say  

Djeeper1987 48M
3389 posts
5/22/2006 4:50 am

Last Read:
5/23/2006 5:27 pm

50 Things Men Will Never Hear Women Say

1. Does this dress make my waist look too small?

2. Stop trying to pay! What’s the point of making lots of money if I can’t spend most of it on you?

3. I’m so lucky. I love going to work and knowing you’ll be in the bedroom for me when I get home.

4. I’m not very talkative tonight. Can I just lounge here with you while you read your book, and maybe we could fool around, when you get to the end?

5. For your office Christmas party, should I go for sexy/elegant, like Michelle Pfeiffer, or sexy/slutty, like Pam Anderson?

6. That thong really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband here company while I go for a swim?

7. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

8. Who’s got the better technique for me to copy, C.J. Laing or Debi Diamond?

9. On our honeymoon, let’s go on a bear hunt in Alaska!

10. That $60,000 bonus I just got for selling so many houses last year, where do you think we’ll get the best return? Stocks, rental property, or that rehab project I was looking at?

11. I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

12. Merry Christmas, honey! I hope it's the right caliber.

13. Check or charge? Sorry, I only pay with cash.

14. I hope you don’t mind--I bought some 20 oz. ribeyes for dinner again.

15. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

16. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!

17. Let's leave the toilet seat "up" at all times. Then you won't have to mess with it anymore.

18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

19. That idiot Stacy told me what she spent last year on clothes! More than that rental duplex I bought!

20. The new girl in my office is a real knockout, and a stripper, too. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

21. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

22. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal, they'll still cover.

23. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

24. My mother is taking care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

25. Honey! Our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

26. He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!

27. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

28. Your mother did a great job raising you.

29. I'd much rather stay in and have sex with you than go shopping.

30. I'll be out painting the house.

31. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

32. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

33. This scene is boring. Fast forward to the gang bang.

34. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

35. If you stop giving me sex, I’m divorcing you, no matter how much the court says I have to pay.

36. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

37. Is this skirt short enough?

38. I make more than enough money for both of us. Why don't you retire and get that handicap down to 4 or 5?

39. I signed up for yoga today so that I'll be able to get my ankles behind my head for you.

40. You need your sleep, you big silly! Now stop getting up for the night feedings.

41. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

42. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm going to go over and talk to her.

43. Not the shopping mall again! Come on, let's go to that new strip joint!

44. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.

45. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!

46. I don't care if it is on sale, $200 is still way too much for a dress, and no, I won’t let you help pay for it.

47. That was fun! When can your friends come over to watch pornos again?

48. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.

49. It's only the third quarter, order a couple more pitchers.

50. It would be sexy to watch you with our babysitter Tracy. She turned eighteen last week.

Carpe Diem

rm_CuummDrop 50F
2591 posts
5/22/2006 5:53 am

Ummmm,, you haven't hung around Clit nor i too much,, have you?... (gigglin)... BTW,, where's the chaps dude??

Take care

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c

Djeeper1987 replies on 5/23/2006 5:29 pm:
chaps? ah ah
i have been feeling a little chapped lately

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
5/22/2006 5:59 am

I have said 30 AND 44 so

Djeeper1987 replies on 5/22/2006 6:14 am:
30. I'll be out painting the house.

What color? lol

44. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here

BTW is was the publishing clearing house saying they had your million, but since you were home sorry lol

cuteNEway 42F

5/22/2006 5:44 pm


13, 15, 16, 27, 29, 33, 44, 46 and somethng similar to 49...so THERE...

tee hee

Djeeper1987 replies on 5/22/2006 6:31 pm:

BaronessK 53F

5/22/2006 8:31 pm

1. I've never asked a guy what anything looks like on me; I have a mirror, if I cared to look most times. I also feel he's old enough to dress himself, so I don't comment on that, either.

2. I've bought significant others things all the time; I've spent more money on them than myself -- fond of electronics and guns.

3. Does being horny almost 24/7 count for this one? I think so; and I like to 'work' and work, inside or outside the home.

4. I've actually said that and several other things to that point; damn, I am way low maintenance!

5. I've asked a guy's opinion on what he wanted me to wear for a certain party or whatever, as well as how he wanted me to look.

6. An attractive female is still going to be attractive whether a guy is with another female or not; if he's going to look, cheat, or whatever, he's going to do it regardless. Trust them or break up.

7. I can appreciate someone else doing a good job at whatever it is; if she happens to be his ex that still doesn't make the event different, less than it was, or whatever.

8. I have actually asked for confirmation that I have the best oral technique...with the addendum that if there's anything extra and individual to their preferences to let me know verbally or however.

9. I'd love to travel, no matter where it is; Alaska or where ever would be great, and no matter what all we were doing there.

10. money should be invested or able to otherwise be safe and make more money; why wouldn't I ask my partner's opinion about it? There's also the fun of surprise gifts, like a boat or a big screen.

11. As long as he takes it slow, it's fine and dandy now and then and again. BTW, J can tell you that in my case it's tight EVERYWHERE {got to love Doctor Kegel, bless his heart, for finishing teaching me what I was a natural at}. Oh, and some KY or whatever, but AFTER at least a half hour of oral on him {because KY tastes nasty oily}.

12. Why wouldn't I buy a gun for someone? I bought them for both my husbands and a good friend or two.

13. I carry checks but I rarely use anything but my debit, which is immediately put into my checkbook register. I don't like credit cards, and in fact have helped a couple of 'whatevers' pay theirs off and/or down. I rarely have to use anything at all; I HATE to shop, unless it's for electronics or DIY stuff.

14. J tells me what kind of meat to get, and which store he wants it from. If he wants steak every night, no problem. He cooks them better than I do, too, especially on the grill.

15. I've had the same basic hairstyle since my son was about two {2} years old; you know, the almost 19 year old. It's a modified gypsy; just-been-thru-windstorm-or-freshly-fucked look to it, and I luv it.

16. I've done that, on request, from special someone; J says it's a deal breaker and I damn well not better do it; works for me.

17. I've done that; I have enough sense to look before I sit down. With 3 males in the house at one time, it was actually more sitting down than standing up overall, but easier to leave it up. I also taught my boys to aim, so it wouldn't have been a problem, anyway.

18. I actually asked J about that; what with gravity at my age and the weight loss. And he is a photographer; he's got excellent tastes in body form and in clothing for me.

19. I HATE to shop for clothes; last time I went, and finally found some shirts that fit, I bought one in every color so that I wouldn't have to shop again for a couple of years for those.

20. I've 'pimped' my friends to someone; I've also let the man I love date other women to see what he thought he was missing or whatever. Yes, by the way, he did sleep with a couple of them. Inviting some 'hottie' over for dinner is way, way tame compared to all that kind of stuff.

21. I'm low maintenance; they have stuff to do, I have stuff to do, we both have to work and sleep and have down/'me time'. Silent is fine; I'll go find something else to do rather than bug them.

22. Why would I tell him the action and all in a game when that's why I bought him the TIVO and big screen? He'd rather see it in person than have me yapping about it anyway. I'm damn fun during the half-time, too.

23. Sent his ex-girlfriend flowers on Valentine's thanking her for being stupid enough to let him go. Also, did a FMF another time.

24. Hell, let's see who can outdrink who; anyone here burp a song? I can outdrink all of you, but I decided to be the designated driver. Need my debit card, honey? Get some snacks while you're at it.

25. {On clothing alternative beach in Key West} Damn, darlin', look at the tits on that one; hurry, she's covering up to walk to the restroom. I should have a tit job, at my age; wonder how long it would take to have sex again after the surgery?

26. He understands that talking about it to death doesn't help things; we talk when we have to but leave most of our time for fun.

27. Why not, since there's no one around; hell, I quit wearing underwear ages ago because he asked.

28. I understand your mother and never hold it against you; you're a wonderful, sexy, attractive, intelligent man. Do you want to keep talking because I need to give you a pedicure and body massage.

29. I'd rather have sex than almost anything; and I HATE to shop.

30. Sorry, dear, I started without you. The bathroom walls are all done, but it took longer than I thought because I took all the hardware down to do it right. It's all back up right now, and it matches the new floor tile I put down perfectly. When it gets a little warmer weather I'm going to paint the porch and the outside of the house. In the meantime I'm working on the landscaping. Oh, hold off on the shower for a little bit, since the new grout is drying.

31. Why ask? Perfect holiday gift for most men.

32. I love it when he rides his Harley, I wish he had more time to ride it {with or without me}, and I love all the chrome and other additions he put on there after he bought it. Those helmets and riding jacket are totally sexy hot on him, too.

33. Porns are boring; can't you watch while I start the blowjob?

34. I'll take the car to our mechanice; go ride your Harley. No use both of us being stuck waiting. If it was the plugs, I'd do it myself; the mechanic will have it all fixed in no time.

35. If you don't start giving me sex, I'm going to consider divorcing you. If it will help, we'll try out those positions you saw on that porn site.

36. Forget buying me gifts; let's buy some fun electronics or boat.

37. Is this skirt/shorts short enough? Is this top low cut enough? Do I need to wear a tighter outfit?

38. {If I was making more than him or won the lottery; and I've said this} I wouldn't want to 'buy' you, but could you be rented? I saw a beautiful island in the Keys with a helicopter pad, a boat pier, and everything else you could wish for. All you would have to do is whatever you wanted to do for the rest of your life.

39. I can already get my ankles up over my head as well as my tongue down to my chin plus know Kegel enough to grip a straw; I am learning tai chi so I can bend my head around like I'm possessed.

40. I breast fed, by choice. I also worked second shift while his mother kept the child when he was a bit older, still cleaning and cooking and so on. I taught both the boys how to pee standing up.

41. See number 23.

42. What do I care if she's wearing the same outfit? If it looks better on her, I'm going to tell her and ask her 'secret'.

43. Gawd, drag me through shredded glass over blazing coals; even a strip joint, hooters, or local mud wrestling nite is better than shopping {unless it's for electronics}.

44. Was that the phone? Let the machine pick up, if it's for me.

45. I'm still breathing and I know you make me a screamer, but what the hell; my parents had sex to get me here, at least once.

46. $200 or even $50, why do I want to spend that much on clothes? Hey, I saw a new machine in electronics, let's go look; my treat.

47. Were the pornos fun for all of y'all? Remind me next time to fix more snacks and have more beer here. See anything we should try?

48. That's your favorite shirt, even if it is ripped; use this.

49. See number 24.

50. See number 20 and number 23.

50 out of 50; do I get the perfect significant other award?! *LOL*

Djeeper1987 replies on 5/22/2006 9:19 pm:
You are a ROIT!!!

BaronessK 53F

5/23/2006 1:16 am

Thing is, it's all true; go figure. So do I get a cookie or what?

Djeeper1987 replies on 5/23/2006 5:29 pm:
What do you desire?

BaronessK 53F

5/23/2006 10:41 pm

Hun, what do you mean, what do I desire? I am a female, so what do you think I desire? EVERYTHING! *LOL* Nah, not really; world peace, end to world starvation, and constant guilt-free sex. Other than that, I'm open to suggestions! *L*

Become a member to create a blog