The Chat and how they can cheat you.  

DiligoHellas 39M
123 posts
8/3/2005 5:01 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Chat and how they can cheat you.

So I was in this chart room, when on joined and said hello with a greeting in a language that I speak a few words of. The greeting, directed at specific members in the char room, translates into something like "(friendly) kiss and hugs". So for the fun of it I asked for a hug too in the same language. The answer was that she didn’t know me so I could go and give myself a hug.

As this sounded a bit like she felt offended by me, and as that wasn’t the point from my side, I replied something along the lines of "relax girl, I didn’t mean any offence".

She didn’t like to be called "girl", and from that point on it just went downhill...

But as I am a guy that doesn’t want to offend anybody and I give the same credit to my fellow AdultFriendFinder chatter / blogger I think we just got off on the wrong foot.

So here goes:

"If you were offended by my behavior and/or choice of words, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to pick a fight with you or disrespect you in any way, and I promise from now on not to ask for hugs from you or call you anything other than your handle…"

And with that off my chest I want to ask you, my loyal reader:

Have you tried to communicate one thing online and then found out that you get responses that points to misinterpretation of the said communication?

What do you do to avoid it?

- Diligo

GleesFlakyShawl 51M
1620 posts
8/3/2005 12:54 pm

it happened to me many times, heck it even happens when IMing one on one, when u know the other person a bit more......

i guess its even harder there when not everybody is completely fluent in the common language u use to communicate and with so many different cultural backgrounds

i havent found a way to avoid it...i just said sorry and try a different approach....

rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
8/3/2005 2:53 pm

Diligo, there's just no pleasing some peeps....
Not much you can do about it...

expatbrit49 64M

8/3/2005 3:17 pm

Agree it happens best not to worry just say sorry thats not what I ment and move on. It was good to meet you today

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
8/3/2005 3:21 pm

agrees totally with EE

I'm a

i'm here to stay

_CoffeeNoCream_ 54F

8/4/2005 4:39 am

You need to come more often to the EHT

AmberSolaire 43M

8/4/2005 1:14 pm

Has it occured to you he might be talking about the EHT.Theres are those in there who I have seen do exactly this.We all have bad days, dont take it personally.

rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
8/4/2005 1:33 pm

Euro Hottub rules...


8/5/2005 12:39 pm

Listen Dili,

Yes, it was I in your story. But I am not going to defend my behaviour because there is really nothing to defend.

No, I don't hug strangers on request and I doubt that you do that yourself. And in general being called a 'girl' is somehow demeaning. I doubt that you'd like to be addressed as 'boy'.

Basically I regard a chat room as any other social setting: You meet people you don’t know, you befriend them and the level of familiarity is proportional to your acquaintance level.

If you replay the very same situation as if it was happening in a real life, you will see why my reaction was as it was. And after being online for a little while, you will see that a woman can easily become twitchy about physical advances of total strangers. Continue to be a good ‘boy’ and you may actually earn my affection and merit a hug....

Kindest regards and a big smile from Denmark


DiligoHellas 39M

8/5/2005 3:18 pm

wow..this NIRI got a sharp thong. I don’t know how to respond to this, but…you my loyal reader know me... am I that bad?

Love you a online fashion

DiligoHellas 39M

8/5/2005 3:22 pm

and yes NIRI got my full respect…in a online fashion…

rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
8/6/2005 2:41 am

Diligo, Niri is one of the sweetest peeps I know, but as she describes... it takes time to deserve a hug

I'm sure that with time, when she knows you, she'll hug you!

DiligoHellas 39M

8/6/2005 11:28 am

I know EE407, this is in the past now. NIRI is a sweet chatter but as I wrote "we got off on the wrong foot". No problem now.

DiligoHellas 39M

8/6/2005 11:30 am

I know EE407, this is in the past now. NIRI is a sweet chatter but as I wrote "we got off on the wrong foot". No problem now.

and NIRI I don't ask you to defend anything, why should you?

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