The Results Are In...  

DefiniteTrouble 51F
2839 posts
10/7/2005 4:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Results Are In...

Thank you to all the wonderful people who applied for the position to fill the void in the life of my dear brother...

travelingintexas

I have spent numerous hours pouring over your applications submitted in my post Is This You and have narrowed it down to these six finalists:

1. wetpantyslut2

Location - Texas
Sign - Virgo
Speaks - English - Hillbilly
Quote - "My name is BIG Bertha. I need's me a MAN! He's gots to be able to chuw my food for me cause I has no tooths and give me my weeklee enema cause I's tends to get a bit stopped up. Please bring you's own pairs of toenails clippers cause mine are's rusted. Be's man enuf to shave my bunyons and yeellohed toesnails. I luvs a man who liks a haire chest and willin to mow my underarms. Lice not a problum cause I gots em too, the darn critters. I cans yodel wif da best of em, I wons the pickeled pigs feet contest the past fife years and this year I'm shootin for a reckord my eatins at leest seventee fife of thoose suckers. I's gots my ouwn shak, 2 pigs, a cow, a chiken and a goat. the outhouse needs cleaned but i'm sure a rel man cans do it. Let mee luv u."

2. 36specialk (Photo not available.)

Location - Florida
Sign - Leo
Speaks - English and Pig Latin
Quote - "Can I have him DT??? I will pet him and stroke him and I will call him George and I will pet him and pat him..."

3. redlipsprincess

Location - Rhode Island
Sign - Pisces
Speaks - English
Quote - "Enchanting Princess seeks boy toy in waiting- must have good guns, like to get wet, have a warped sense of humor, and Like Siz' ass... *adds* yes I have the big boobs, but they are tightly laced into the corset, so he won't get to see them as he ties me in…"

4.


Location - California
Sign - Taurus
Speaks - English, French, and Bunnyspeak
Quote - " "*gets a 5 speed mask* I think ill apply now..."

5. bella_

Location - Canada
Sign - Gemini
Speaks - English and Italian
Quote - "Hi, My name is Billy, I am 62 and smokes cigars...Trav knows me and has been with me...Let him know I am applying..thanks"

6. Sizzle364 (Photo not sticking at time of print.)

Location - Michigan
Sign - Gemini
Speaks - English
My conversation with Sizzle
DT - Sizzle, I've heard rumors...
Siz - Hmmm...those rumors were probably from Trav!!! ...and you listened?
DT - Are you applying for the position?
Siz - DT...HHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL NO!!!! I am not applying for the position.
DT - He mentioned the pictures, but won't let me see them. It appears you found his pink tutu quite entertaining...with him in it.
Siz - DT?? HHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL YES!!!! I am applying for the position. **Siz whipping out some elmers glue for the ripped application**
*Note - Sizzle's last comment was slightly misquoted. I couldn't print his complete heterosapien-curious response.

There you have them ladies and gentleman...our finalists. Please review their qualifications and vote for who you think would best suit travelingintexas, walking hand-in-hand through the remainder of life's journey.

The winner will be announced on Monday, October 10, 2005 during MondayThe First Annual Roast travelingintexas Day. Yes! Special gifts will be presented to the happy couple to help get them off to a wonderful start.

To assure fairness during the balloting, Konkali has graciously offered to help assist me with tallying up the results.

Vote today!

Index 1 , Index 2


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
53F

10/7/2005 8:29 am

I vote for:

redlipsprincess



TTFN


methodman1000 41M
1775 posts
10/7/2005 9:44 am

i also vote for redlipsprincess.........


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
10/7/2005 10:54 am

This is a task that is serious and laden with ominous responsibility on the part of the voters. Bertha is a heavy contender but one must ask, "Who can not only take control of the situation yet also be able to fill in the blanks when the Heterosapien needs must be met?"

Therefore I must vote for the only person that can fit the FULL bill: Aptly named:

BILLY

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 11:21 am

Lips - good, biased choice, lmao.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 11:22 am

Thanks for your vote.

**wonders if Method's reasoning is imagining those lips wrapped around the tree trunk he claims to be a penis**


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 11:23 am

36 -

Thank you for your campaign speech. Best of luck!


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 11:25 am

lmfao Wahine - great observation-analysis.

Your vote has been duly noted.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
10/7/2005 12:03 pm

DT...I was just starting to like you...now I am sorely dissapointed

<~~~~~whipping out voodoo dolls of DT & 5 (heh heh...what if he can't get it up?)
elmers glue on both mouths of voodoo dolls, spikes in finger tips and anchor weights on the elbows..


rm_pchamp012004 57M
2672 posts
10/7/2005 12:53 pm

I have to vote for bella Trav's a very luck man


ThumbChickStool 34F

10/7/2005 1:05 pm

I vote for Sizzle364.


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
10/7/2005 1:55 pm

Hrm, it certainly sounds like SpecialK is planning on being NICE to the Brat, we can't have that. I'm afraid Bunz might accidentally kill him ... Trav has expressed WAY too much interest in the "brown squirrel" and I think he'd enjoy life with Sizzle too much. Now, a 62 year old man named Billy. Think about it, guys that age make that annoying little smacking sound with their lips after they eat, ah hell, they make that sound damn near all the time for some unknown reason. That would be enough to keep Trav on edge. My vote is for Billy.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 3:14 pm

lmafo Sizzle...wanna bet I can chew through leather? Save your effort and the glue...


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 3:16 pm

PC? That's "Billy" not Bella.

It's funny how secrets come flying out of the closet when there's a perfectly good heterosapien-available.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 3:17 pm

PC? That's "Billy" not Bella.

It's funny how secrets come flying out of the closet when there's a perfectly good heterosapien-butch available.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 3:18 pm

lmfao Sizzle...wanna bet I can chew through leather? Save your effort and the glue...


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 3:19 pm

**tosses Native's vote in box**


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 3:21 pm

roflmfao Daphne -

EXECELLENT process of elimination. lmfao


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 5:53 pm

Jez - right at 22 hours, lol.

This has been the longest damn week of my life!!!


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 5:54 pm

MzHuny...vote as many times as you like. I'll give a nod to each.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 5:57 pm

Specialk - candidates can only vote once.

Everyone else can vote as many times as they like...kinda like a lottery.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 5:58 pm

T ? Smack yourself for me. Thanks. (smooch)


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 6:07 pm

Results as of 8:00pm CST

redlipsprincess 4
wetpantyslut2 aka "Big Bertha" 0
barbiebunny disguised as five_speed 0
bella_ aka "Billy" 4
Sizzle364 1
36specialk 1

Get those votes in!!!


PailsDiverHonks 57F

10/7/2005 8:13 pm

Does it have to be a female? I was going to vote for expatbrit49


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/7/2005 9:42 pm

Green - lmao...the candidates had to nominate themselves, BUT I suppose we could add him as a late "write-in"...


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
53F

10/7/2005 10:39 pm

I can share..

TTFN


keithcancook 61M
18125 posts
10/7/2005 11:36 pm

maybe all he needs is a new dog to fill his voids. Puppies can do that ya know...


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:44 am

I vote for Sweetest_Sin_Jes


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:46 am

Didn' yuz herr me?

I caz my vote for BIG Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:46 am

Thaz right!

Ize vote 4 BIG Bertha


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:48 am

As definit trubl says: "Everyone else can vote as many times as they like...kinda like a lottery."

Uz hillbillies gots2 stik together

I vote 4 Big Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:49 am

An wen yuz citee slikerz had enuf,

I vote 4 Big Bertha agenz!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:50 am

Thaz 1 fighn wumun I tel u

My votez 4 Big Bertha


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:51 am

U noe, thairz be 'shine 'n thairz b wumun.

And u bez b getin smat and vote 4 Big Bertha 2!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:52 am

U noe, thiz wil likly tern entu e lendsleid.

Iz vote 4 Big Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:54 am

U giz no, thet wen dee hoz brake down, u wil nede her.

I vote 4 Big Bertha agin!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:55 am

Jez luk entu thoz inucint ize!

'N do liek mee, 'n

I'n vote 4 Big Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:57 am

Hel, ef pigs cin mek clemac 4 hores, u gots 2 du liek mee 'n!

Iz vote 4 Big Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 12:58 am

U'n sitee slikerz dink u gotz us hellbillys figerrd et, bit u ain'nta no whaz rele libin.

Iz vote 4 Big Bertha agin!

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:00 am

Yuze gotsa lek a gal det trapz lice!

I votes 4 Big Bertha agin!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:01 am

Aneez gal det kin et 75 pickeled pigs feet, ez dee creme-pye.

I vote for Big Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:04 am

Yehoooeee! Weez gotsa yuu fency ceetee sleckers un dee run nooow!

I votes 4 sexy Big Bertha!

YYeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:06 am

Sheeez precticully a shooo-en, lookz, stile, and mennerz.

I vote 4 the 1, dee only, Big Bertha!

YYiiiiiiiiiiiiPPPeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:06 am

Fez et, etz a hellbillyz wurld!

I vote 4 Big Bertha agin!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:08 am

Efin sheez gut dee shak, I gut dee Hoss.

Iz vote 4 Big Bertha!

A Kountree Girlz Ken Serviev!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:13 am

Yez, we'ell Chez dem Citee slikrz, 'n

Dey ren thru de briarz en de ren thru de bramblz
En dey ren thru de bushez wair dee rabitts kudnt go
Dey ren soe fas, dee howndz culdnt kech 'em
Wey doiwn dee Mizzizzippee, 2 dee Gulph ov Meckseeko!!!

YeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaa!

Iz vote for Big Bertha agin!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:14 am

'n nuthr ding, b4 uze 4get

I vote 4 Big Bertha.


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:15 am

Sheeze gut stile, sheeze gut clawss

gota vote 4 Big Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:16 am

Ez a Tecksas lendslied!

I vote 4 Big Bertha!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:18 am

Kum Rein, Kum 'shien, ('n wee all luv 'shien!)

Iz vote 4 Big Bertha agin!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:20 am

Yeeeeeee Haaaaaaaa!!!

Kin I gev 'err a wekellee ennemaa !!!!!

I vote 4 de 1, dee ownly, Big Bertha!!

'n pazzz dee 'shine!


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:22 am

'n cuz 'em a phare men, E'll voat 4 evree budeez elze 2.

I vote for 36specialk.


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:24 am

'nodder 1 fur phareniss, E'll voat 4 evree budeez elze 2.

I vote for redlipsprincess


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:30 am

'nodder 1 fur phareniss, E'll voat 4 evree budeez elze 2.

I vote for barbiebunny


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:31 am

'nodder 1 fur phareniss, E'll voat 4 evree budeez elze 2.

I vote for Billy


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:31 am

'nodder 1 fur phareniss, E'll voat 4 evree budeez elze 2.

I vote for Sizzle364


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 1:33 am

Laslee, Eh gots2 seh, demz e grate pear uv cheeke warmurz!

I vote for DefiniteTrouble


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/8/2005 3:15 am

Redlips you're so kind! lmao


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/8/2005 3:18 am

Keith -

I have a puppy. Does he fill any voids? YES...my backyard with things I have to scoop.

Pssssssst...you didn't vote.

People! If you forget to vote, I'll cast a vote in your honor.

That's another for Sizzle...


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/8/2005 3:19 am

lmao T

(12.5 hours as I type this..not that we're counting)


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 3:31 am

heya,heya,heya

I almoze forgetz dat diz iz dee onlee gal dat kan makes ya heeve oot ur chezt an bee mahn 2 b WINNIN' n not WHININ'. o'hel dee cuntree galz evun no howz 2 maak urz dik gro aleazt 3 enchez longr.

Iz votes for Big Bertha


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 3:49 am

'n don furgit, hillbillee galz ken reelly hendel keddz 2.
an' u ken b offf wid dee boyz fishin'...

I gots 2 vote for Big Bertha.

YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH


McClary 65M
881 posts
10/8/2005 3:53 am

oo yaaa. dun furgit dat hillllbillleeee galz dink dat mullteepel pardnerz ez mendeetoree 4play.

Gots 2 vote for Big Bertha agin


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/8/2005 6:11 am

(eyeroll) I get the point McClary.

Please guys...1 or 2 votes will be sufficient.

Thanks - DT


barbiebunny 38F
5597 posts
10/8/2005 5:08 pm

SNiff Nolove for the bunny..opps i ment 5 speed...

Its good to be...ME


dieselfumes63 50M
16 posts
10/8/2005 10:16 pm

hello all, I agree with the okee:

wetpantyslut2, aka "Big Bertha" is the best match for travelingintexas


techinvestor 67M
31 posts
10/8/2005 11:00 pm

Many good choices, but only one will do. Which is the best option?
--->When all else fails, pick the sure ticket to happiness.

I choose wetpanyslut2 (Big Bertha), for the man from texas.


rm_kingbean2you 47M

10/9/2005 12:18 am

...sounds like a union of two bugs in a rug:

Big Bertha - wetpantyslut2 is the only mate for travelingintexas.

The kingbean has spoken.


rm_kingbean2you 47M

10/9/2005 12:25 am

...yes, you two will be singing "T for Texas, T for Tennessee":

Big Bertha - wetpantyslut2 is the mate for travelingintexas.

There are beans, then there is THE kingbean.


Dr_Novacks 66M
4 posts
10/9/2005 12:42 am

My wife and I cast our ballot for Big Bertha.

Many happy returns, and the best to both of you.


manoflemuncha 106M
39 posts
10/9/2005 1:01 am

Big Bertha


shelby427cobra 50M
24 posts
10/9/2005 1:24 am

You don't take Big Bertha I just might fly down in my 427 Cobra from Amarillo and steal her away from you.

Big Bertha


floydian_slips 59M
28 posts
10/9/2005 2:05 am

Stage a lotto to choose your mate, what a great idea!
travelingintx you gotta stay local!
Big Bertha is the one and ONLY girl for you!
From Temple, TX


rm_JUSTsex4me 37F
185 posts
10/9/2005 3:37 pm

Definitely Big Bertha....TIT seems like a high maintenance man and needs a local gal.....or at least one to slap him around a bit.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/9/2005 11:06 pm

lmao T..not my fault


foremanMike 48M
9 posts
10/9/2005 11:06 pm

I took a poll in my garage today and all six of us agree it's unanimous it's Big Bertha and more little tex's in the near future.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/9/2005 11:08 pm

Hugs da Bunny...


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/9/2005 11:10 pm

Diesel, Tech, Novacks & wife...adding 4 for Big Bertha


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/9/2005 11:15 pm

Man, Shelby, Floydian, Just...4 more for Big Bertha...


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/9/2005 11:17 pm

Magus? I'm not part of any harem...sorry. I don't share well.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/9/2005 11:18 pm

Candy...1 for Specialk...thanks


princess_tiara 42F
10 posts
10/10/2005 12:47 am

Well, there really are no losers here, it's all about compatibility, and I just can't see the texastraveller lasting with some man...Or with a career woman that's not local...On second thought ANY woman that's not local and likes big families...So, I vote for Big Bertha.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/10/2005 5:25 am

Thanks Foreman.


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
53F

10/11/2005 7:14 am


MUAH~



kisses to my voters...and thanks!

TTFN


DefiniteTrouble 51F

10/12/2005 4:05 am

Princess Tiara - he is heterosapien butch ya know...


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