Human Conditions  

CuriousKitty675 42F
285 posts
7/11/2005 7:57 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Human Conditions

With my mind going every which way I thought I'd just get some stuff down in writing, get it out of my head. This post will have no direction, no purpose. Just a stream of consciousness that will most likely be hard to follow. Enter at you're own risk. If something grabs your eye to comment on go for it.

Lonely....I'm Mr. Lonely.....I want somebody to call my own....

What is it about the human animal that makes them social? What makes them crave contact with others? What makes them crave and yearn for touch? It doesn't have to be sex, the brush of a hand across a shoulder in passing a crowded place, a pat on the back, a massage, a hug, touch of the hair or head? Why do our bodies sometimes act without our conscious efforts? Whya re people who are together usually so all alone despite the mask of laughter they wear? Can't they see their loneliness and desperation clings to them like a scent? Makes a trail for the carrion to follow and devour?

Why is it you are sitting there with no intent at all and get the most vivid provacative image of grabbing someone you know but never considered sexually, have no true logical desire for and throw them down and kiss them passionately? A thought that leaves you feeling puzzled and confused as you stand there in a casual conversation at work with this person. A person you have no sexual interest in? Why can you make another person lose thier train of thought and verbally stutter through a sententce with a mere glance to them of your eyes? Is there something in there? A smoulder that you never intended? I desire that shines through even if you aren't thinking about it? Is your subconscious that powerful? Or the mere thought of more than casual contact with another, making you feel a warmth pooling in your abdomen, making your desire flair, even momentarily.

Why is it you think about going further and you feel somehow less than desireable when you feel a sensual power within you? When you know that you can please a person beyond the limits of thier mind yet you still feel insecure even with that knowledge of self. With that passion inside you? The toe curling, moan eliciting, pulse throbbing sexual power like a goddess of myth within you. Yet you scrutinze yourself, even if you hide from yourself. You feel powerful and beautiful at the same time you feel visually unappealing to others, though you know from thier reactions that it isn't the case. You're thighs could be firmer, your stomach flatter, your breasts perkier or smaller, your hips narrower, ....every tiny detail becomes a flaw. every milimeter longer looking at the larger composite picture of the longer looking at the inner longer seeing the small imperfections that make you unique and beautiful...Why do we torture ourselves? is it ingrained? Is it trained by the visuals given to us in the media as to what should be attractive? Are we sheep? Do we follow the call of the elite with a bleeting of our minds to see things and people as others see them instead of what we can see with our own two eyes? our own hearts? Feel with our senses? Are we mindless zombies? Do our eyes and our hands see differently? Why is it pleasing to the eye and not to the touch? Pleasing to the touch but not the eye? What causes the confusion? The argument of the senses?

Whore or passionate? Chosey or frigid? Is there an in between? If not can you reconcile the two? How? Independant or afraid? Brave or coward? Will we ever know? Will we ever know?

will we



CuriousKitty675 42F
365 posts
7/14/2005 9:55 am

Thank you humboldthonni

You're right. The power of the mind is an amazing thing. If you think about and expect bad things to happen, they will. Same goes for good things.

Sometimes my mind just starts moving at such a fluid rate all around so many different things it's hard to hold down one thought and flesh it out. It's like liquid mercury. So I have to put it all out there as it comes to me and then go back later and analyize it. train of thought derails and hops tracks all the time. I think Amtrack installed it or something.

zebraaccent 35M
1 post
7/18/2005 9:10 pm

I like reading your posts because they read just like I think. I won't pretend to give you answers to the questions that you pose because I think that sometimes it ruins their beauty. Just wanted to let you know that I enjoy reading.

CuriousKitty675 42F
365 posts
7/25/2005 10:07 am

Thank you zebra. I tend to write as I would speak or think. It's not always (rarely!) grammatically correct but as long as it gets across how I'm feeling at the moment it's served it's purpose. It's nice to know that there are others out there that are the same.

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