Hypocritical? Or something else.  

15 posts
5/11/2006 4:34 pm

Last Read:
12/7/2006 4:56 am

Hypocritical? Or something else.

I hope you don't mind. I'm going to share an opinion that generally is not well received.

Before I do this, you should know a little bit more about me.

I am not generally judgemental. I don't spend time deciding if people are 'good' or 'bad', until they've given me a reason to; i.e., they've done something to me.

I was raised by an immigrant family, which means I have generally 'old fashioned' views of integrity and respect. Whenever possible, I treat people with kindness and respect. The only exception to this may be when I am DJ'ing, in which case, my performer's facade is decidedly more 'aggressive'. But, it IS just a mask. I enjoy that mask, because I'm generally.. so damn nice.

So, today, like most days recently, I am viewing women's profiles on here. Like most men, I suspect, I look at the pictures and click from there. Mostly, as is my taste, I look for attractive facial features (nice smile, nice eyes) and then look for clues to 'truth' from the profile.

Here's what puzzles me. A lot of women write very specific requirements. "Well hung". "Blonde hair, blue eyes." ETC.

It's not just on here. It's on any personals website. Women are allowed to be very specific, and they are not considered shallow for doing so.

In fact, I would wager that a strongly written profile by a woman only leads to MORE inquiries rather than the generic, "Looking for a good time. Don't know what to write." that I see quite a bit, too.

But, in those profiles, I see lots.. I mean .. LOTS .. of rules.

Don't write me if you're married. Don't write me if you're going to show me your penis. Don't write me if you can't spell.

Send your email address. You must be tall. You must be well hung. You can't be over XX years old. You have to know how to treat a woman, know how to perform cunnilingus like an aardvark on crack. Etc.

Here's some population statistics for you. Women make up 51% of the BIRTH population, true, but they have a longer average lifespan, so by the time you are an "adult", the number of single men to single women is no longer 1:1.1. In fact, there are a LOT more single women then single men; in the U.S. it's about 5:1. In other countries, that number is much higher.

There are regional influences of course. In FL, with its large retirement population, the average age of your single woman might be 15 years higher than it is in Colorado, for instance (known for its youthful population).

Another interesting statistic involves weight. 60% of the population is overweight, last I looked at the numbers.

And here we are. Statistically speaking, it is MEN who should be making grocery lists, and the WOMEN who should be a whole hell-a-lot LESS demanding.

This is how it goes in real life. "Men are dogs!" Yes, yes we can be. Why? Because the odds are in our favor, and we know it. The phrase, "A good man is hard to find" is not just a cute little wives' tale... it's statistical truth.

Bearing that in mind, I'm single because I've been picky.

And, unfortunately for me, my taste in women has stayed the same for the past ten years - but, my competition has gotten stiffer (Ha ha ha ha! I slay me!).

I can offer a younger woman more emotional security and physical satisfaction than I could ten years ago. But, eh, I was in much better shape ten years ago, and had at least a few more hairs on my head, and certainly less gray in my goatee.

STILL! Statistically speaking, I should be able to be picky. And yet.. here I am. Just like you. Looking for .. something.

I never thought there'd come a day where being lean, with well defined musculature would be a liability. I'm not BONY or GAUNT, for heaven's sake. Sure, I won't be on the cover of GQ anytime soon, but .. I'm not the Elephant Man, either.

But, in a country where 60% of the populace is at least a little thick, I'm in the minority.

And we've gotten to the point where we sneer at the Cosmo Girls, with their itty bitty waists and cute little butts.

Here is the crux. Those Cosmo girls know that THEY are in the minority, too, and they can have their pick of men, because there's SOOO many of us who have the same relative taste. Cosmo girls wouldn't be in the conversation, Playboy wouldn't sell, if men weren't compelled by attractive physical traits.

And since we know the odds are (ultimately) in our favor, we WILL spend an inordinate amount of resources reaching high and higher.

Hell, next year, I'm going to Russia damn it! But, that's another blog for another time.

Le sigh.

See, it's all good in theory.

But, the reality is this. Most men weigh more than me, all other factors being equal. The norm has become a thickness of sorts, because that's the population (yet another rant about what goes into the food we eat, steroids and shit like that, which is WHY we're 60% overweight, but.. whatever).

So, the slim guy is .. a freak.

And even more so, I STILL FEEL GUILTY, I feel .. SHALLOW, for even JOKINGLY suggesting that, "I'd like to find a girl who was slim like me."

It's not what's on the outside that counts!

Oh no? Asphyxiation while fucking is not big on my list, sorry.

This makes me a bad person, I feel. I feel BAD, because sometimes I'm thinking, "Ya know.. you DO NOT HAVE TO EAT FAST FOOD, just because you have a busy lifestyle."

I'm not even that active, but I walk whenever I can. I drink water. I eat from the four food groups, and I stop eating when I'm full. It's pretty basic stuff. I don't shy away from physical labor, or breaking a sweat, but I sure as hell don't bother with going to the gym - who's got time for that?

I don't do drugs that make me want to eat when I know I shouldn't be eating.

Look - honestly - you can be 400 pounds and be cool to hang out with.. and I'll never disrespect you as a person. We can go out to dinner, laugh, tell jokes, and you can eat one of everything on the dessert tray.

It's all good. Being fat doesn't make you bad. Doesn't mean you're lazy. Doesn't mean I hate you and judge you.

It simply means I disagree. I disagree that you're helpless. I disagree that there's nothing you can do. I believe you made your choices - your body, your temple.

I am not going to ignore the choices you made in your life, just like you're not going to ignore the choices I've made in mine, when we start talking about my life, my past, my mistakes - the reason I am single at my age.

I'm NOT shallow, no more than someone who is 50 pounds overweight is lazy and unmotivated.

Yet, without fail, every time I mention it, I feel bad.

I think that is societal influence that makes me feel bad.

And I think that I'm not a hypocrit, but rather, one who denies society the right to tell me what the truth is.

If you get nothing else about me from reading this particular lot of gibberish, you should walk (click?) away knowing this of me...

I do not particulary care what the societal standard is. I make my own rules, because it is more important to me to be able to look in the mirror every morning, and know that I was honest with myself and those around me, rather than know that I was conforming to something that I did not believe in.

That's all, for now.

Have a nice day!

~ Bill, Coyote.

RUReady4Me174 44F

5/11/2006 5:46 pm

everyone has their own idea of what attractive is. You should not feel bad for being attracted to smaller women, just like women who are attracted to bigger men should not feel bad, either.

to each their own, I say

rm_boniboiy 52M
827 posts
6/28/2007 10:21 pm

interesting post , Bill, and how true

i feel awkward when i have to describe my body type; i don't have those developed pectoral muscles with floor facing titties, but then have you ever seen a long distance runner shaped like that.........but try telling to a woman whose got all this easy internet choice, i have a long distance runner's body shape ...(..........wtf!! saw it first on your post) easy that one strait in the trash can!!

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