She's getting married  

Choozmi 51M
746 posts
6/10/2006 12:14 am

Last Read:
6/17/2006 10:46 am

She's getting married

Okay, I didn't even know her that well. I'd been seeing her around at parties and gatherings at my church for several years. I finally introduced myself to her at a New Year's Eve party a year and a half ago simply because I was tired of not knowing who she was.

She's really beautiful. I could describe her but would the specifics really matter? Let's just say that when I look at her I tend to lose my train of thought.

She's brilliant. She's fun to talk to, with a playful sense of humor and a devilish smile. She can keep up with me (and I think I can keep up with her, but maybe I'm fooling myself).

I can count our conversations on one hand, but they were good ones. Long, interesting. Fun. Always at a party or something. Never via phone or in private. Usually just the two of us. I think I may remember others participating in the conversations but I barely paid attention to anyone but her.

We were both always respectful and appropriate. No sexy talk. All flirting was subtle. She did wink at me once, but only once.

She's getting married. I found out this evening, although I assumed it was coming for a very long time. Whenever I see her she's with him. And he's a great guy. Likable, good looking. I seem to remember that he has a solid career, too. A terrific catch. I'm sure they will be pillars of the community.

And now I'm a wreck. I was a complete wreck for three days last fall after I had a conversation with her at a lunch party thing. I was a wreck after the New Year's party where I met her even though I ended up taking another girl home that night and sleeping with her (and dating her for five months). I was a wreck last January when she was cold to me at a party.

She was cold to me this evening as well. I tried to brace myself for it, but it still hurt.

Let me explain. I know it sounds like I have an amazing fantasy life -- I do. But I recognize when I meet a kindred spirit or potential soulmate or whatever you want to call them. I think she was one. We just fit. It was easy. It was like great sex except of course we never did more than talk.

I think she's been cold to me because she thinks our past conversations have been inappropriate. Maybe her fiance was jealous, or maybe I was making her uncomfortable (I don't think I was; I'm careful to make sure my conversations are very balanced so I'm not doing all the talking). Maybe she was attracted to me and knew it couldn't go anywhere. Maybe she felt guilty about it.

I wish I knew.

This isn't the first experience I've had with an unavailable woman, of course. I could bore you with at least a dozen similar stories from my past. But each one is special.

I think I never really get over these situations; I just try to use them to understand myself and others better.

God, that hunger. That mouth-watering desire. When you sense a fit. A completion. An... an answer.

MaggiesWishes 61F

6/10/2006 12:42 am

Seems like you waited too long to let her know you were interested in the first place.
You didn't mention if she was with him in the beginning? Only that he was there sometime later.

Sometimes I wonder about men. The ones that do all the talking make me wonder if they have anything of substance to share. Then there are the guys that talk TO you but never get around to asking you out or making it just a little bit plain that they like us. What in the world are you waiting on? Christmas? Just saying.

Even tho women live in a more open social forum, there are some with the old fashion values that still "wait" for a gentleman to make the first move. I'm guilty of that manuver myself. Oh well... it happens.

I'm sorry sugg's.
Maybe thru your experiences you will strike while the iron is hot.

warm huggies 2ya
yes, I'm up past my bedtime

Choozmi 51M

6/10/2006 1:46 am

Oh, she's been with him since long before I ever met her. I could never have approached her without being inappropriate. (My real world life has very few swingers or couples with open relationships. Good old-fashioned monogamy reigns.)

I'm not one of those guys who waits too long, Maggie. If anything, for the past few years I've been more candid and direct than I should have. it has something to do with getting older and also with having missed too many opportunities in the past.

I was keeping an eye on her to see whether there was trouble in her relationship. Because they'd been together for several years without being engaged, I harbored some hope that they were going to break up. Tonight's revelation of their engagement shattered that hope.

QueenOfSwords 35F

6/10/2006 4:48 am

Maggie said it exactly right

Hugzzz to ya Choozmi

Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
6/10/2006 9:12 pm

"Maybe she was attracted to me and knew it couldn't go anywhere. Maybe she felt guilty about it."

I think that's probably true. If you had made a move early on, you might have gotten somewhere, but if she'd been seeing this guy a long time, you might have never had a chance. That sucks.

Sounds to me like you're destined to be a back-door man.
It's not as lonely as you think... you get married women's best stuff.
Hippie XXX

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