Can you like 'em AND lust after 'em?  

Choozmi 51M
746 posts
6/26/2006 3:15 am

Last Read:
7/6/2006 11:09 pm

Can you like 'em AND lust after 'em?

This topic was suggested by chislut in her blog.

I think it is entirely possible to like someone and lust after them at the same time.

I've had several sexual relationships in which I truly liked my partner and the sex was not only for my own enjoyment but for expressing my affection for her. Not romantic love. Affection. Caring. Lust. Nurturing. It was all there except the mushy soul-mate stuff. One FWB relationship lasted for about two and a half years (we were both seeing other people as well, of course).

Frankly, while I'm not certain that I could love two people at once I could certainly like and care deeply for two sexual partners at once.

I remember a few years ago I was seeing two women at once. The relationships overlapped for about two weeks and I was having the time of my life. I was seeing each of them on alternate nights and was sexually active with both. One knew I was seeing other people and the other... well, we'd just started going out so we weren't committed to each other yet.

Anyway, I could only keep it up for two weeks before I had to break it off with one of them. I felt guilty even though I hadn't actually lied to anyone. I just thought what I was doing was not acceptable to most people and it scared me how easy it was for me. (And look at me now -- here on AdultFriendFinder!)

The reason I think it was so easy for me to be very present and attentive to both women was that I genuinely liked both of them but loved neither of them. I didn't feel a need for exclusivity but I did feel genuine affection and when I was with them, I was theirs.

I still regret breaking it off after only two weeks. It turns out I chose the wrong one, but that's for another blog entry.

countryheart_71 46F
8081 posts
6/26/2006 4:14 am

When you care about your sex partner, it only makes the sex better in my opinion. I'm sure that you will find what you are looking for again. After all, you are here, right?


Choozmi 51M

6/26/2006 10:42 am

Yes, it is why I'm here.

Interestingly, this love/like/lust question has come up with several of my former partners. In one case I was having an FWB relationship with a lovely lady who was determined to find the love of her life and so even though we were having a wonderful time with each other she kept insisting that she wasn't falling in love with me and I kept telling her that was okay with me because I wasn't falling in love with her, either (how do you say that without it sounding like an insult?)

She finally broke it off and I assume she's now with the love of her life or something. Good for her. I miss her, though. She was sweet (when she wasn't busy telling me she didn't love me).

imLadyBambi 59M/51F

6/26/2006 11:55 am


I really don't think it's possible to LOVE another whom you have a soulmate relationship with.Mr.Bambi and I are so close theres no way in HELL I could love anybody else.We have it all!!

Come by our blog site a check us out.You will get a good laugh or two out of it.If ya do decide to visit please leave a comment so I'll know you were there.Thanks!!Our link is:


Lady B.

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