Adds to the anxiety  

Choozmi 51M
746 posts
5/17/2006 3:04 pm

Last Read:
5/21/2006 1:33 am

Adds to the anxiety


Of course I can't speak for all males of the species, but I find myself both intrigued and intimidated by all the different lifestyles on display on this site.

First of all, much of it sounds like a lot of fun. Some things don't appeal to me (such as the ingesting of fluids from various orifices) but hopefully a potential partner wouldn't reject me because I didn't want to lick her this after I or someone else had done that or two other people had smeared that other stuff all over.

Playing with another couple sounds interesting... in a way. I'm not in a couple currently so I'm drawing on my memory when I say that I'm not sure how I'd feel if my partner were having sex with another man whether I watched or not. I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to avoid feeling jealous. What if she prefers him (or her) to me?

Of course, I suspect I would enjoy having sex with a woman besides my lover, so I have a double standard. But what if I were to prefer the new lover? At the very least I would be really confused.

How would I feel toward the male half of the other couple? Would I feel competitive with him? Jealous?

How do you think you would feel about such things?

Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
5/20/2006 3:14 pm

I have done this, both ways. Square & I have had men join us, and couples, where we swapped. The issue didn't even come up. No jealousy, no worrying about whether the other person was better, none of that. I guess we're pretty secure that way (if in no other way!). Also, I had Square & my husband together a few times. It went amazingly well. I think you have to possess the ability to step outside yourself, and just enjoy it, realizing that it's just really fun sex. It's not about emotional loving intimacy. It's do-it-yourself porn.

It's definitely not for everyone. In fact, it's not for most people. My husband, for instance, has no desire to swing, but he loves to share me, see the pictorial evidence, and even participate (but only with Square) occasionally. He doesn't want another woman with us, no couples' swapping. He likes to fantasize about it once in a while, usually just being with anoth woman alone... but he (so far) doesn't seem to actually want it. (And yes, I have given him the go-ahead on this, but will not push him into it, cuz it's obvious he doesn't want to).

Oh... one catch... I will NOT swap separately. That is, all partners must be in the same room at the same time. I personally don't understand couples that want to swap alone. To each their own.

Your comment about the double standard... I know what you're talking about. While I try to be fair and give my husband permission to see others, I know I don't want him to. I also don't want Square to see others without my presence. One HUGE double standard there. The problem is, I KNOW both men are safe from ever losing me. I KNOW I'm just doing it for sex, and no other man could take their place. Both men feel very secure in their places with me. I guess I don't feel so secure?

Ah well, just gotta work that much harder so that neither man needs any other woman.
Hippie XXX

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