Running with an older crowd  

ChinRyder 41M
340 posts
8/13/2006 6:23 am

Last Read:
8/12/2007 4:21 pm

Running with an older crowd

I can't believe this. It's quarter to 9:00 on a Sunday morning and I'm already wide awake. Yesterday I woke up at 7:45, which is even worse! Somehow, somewhere I turned into a morning person and I don't understand it.

It's not like I was never a morning person. My girlfriend used to complain that I woke up waaaaaaaaay to energized and way to early, so I used to lie in bed with her and just cuddle for a while. Eventually I might fall back asleep, but even then it would only be for another hour at the most. I even tried it this morning, but here I am.

I stay up late- so it's not a matter of getting too much sleep. I'm thinking it's my gym habits. Going regularly really does get you energized to the point of getting as much as you need and no more.

My roommate's alarm just went off. This is insane!!! He actually has something to do today, so I can understand. But me?!?! No plans what-so-ever. Am I being punished?

I guess I really am starting to show my age. Maybe that's my point with this blog. Those of you that are regulars here know that I've been arguing the difference between women and girls lately- maybe I'm finally starting to see it, and that I have a penchant for girls. Anyone care to help me with that?

I'm nowhere where I thought I'd be at this age. I was always the guy who wanted to be settled down with kids after college. I wanted the house with some acreage that I could play with- grow a garden, build a patio, enclose it with a trellis and vines, maybe put up a barn and get some horses. Then Sunday mornings would mean something. I could get up early, tend to the horses, and spend some quiet time with my wife. But it's not to be. I almost had it once, but it didn't stick. Apparently someone upstairs has plans for me, I just wish I knew what the hell they were!!!!

Don't get me wrong- I'm happy with who I am now. I'm almost 30 years old, I look like I'm 23 or so, I'm a professional photographer who gets to shoot beautiful models all day, and I can do whatever I want whenever I want with no one to answer too. I have no right to complain.

I guess it's the fact that I'm just not where I thought I'd be. I don't have the second half that makes me feel complete. I wake up in a huge bed that for so long used to be full but isn't anymore. Sure, I could fill it easy, but not with anything permanent. And that's what I'm looking for- something a little more permanent. Dating these days isn't just to see who's out there. I've done that. It has a little more too it I guess.

What the hell is my whole point with this? Well, aside from killing some time this morning I think what I'm trying to say, especially to myself, is that I'm finally starting to understand. I'm seeing some of the bad choices that I've made in the past and now it's time for me to rectify the situation. Pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue on down the path laid out in front of me. I need to accept the way things are and be happy. There's always someone who has it worse than you do.

druidrocker 63F

8/13/2006 7:11 am

There is nothing wrong w/getting up at a time that can still be officially called morning. There is a theory that your internal clock is set by what time you were born. This is true for a lot of people but it's not 100%.

As for not being where you thought you would by this point in your life - that is very common these days. The speed with which life has changed exceeded the speed of the moral teachings society and our family. That is how your expectations were formed.

Stay true to your moral center and enjoy the journey - I hope it's a long and joyous one.

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
8/13/2006 7:11 am

I love the last two lines of this. Sometimes, we do need to accept the way things are and be happy where we are. You know.....when you do that....when you truly decide to be happy...that's when things tend to change!

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