The Ferret Battle continued....  

Catharsis33 45M
81 posts
5/23/2006 9:57 pm

Last Read:
7/2/2006 8:02 am

The Ferret Battle continued....

Where was I...please read The Ferret Battle to catch up on this.

I thought once I had gained an ally with the 4 year old. I was sadly mistaken. I passed by our bathroom only to find our 4 year old standing in front of the toilet. The lid was closed but I could hear splashing. Yes…He had managed to get all the ferrets in the toilet and closed the lid on them. (It really took everything in me not to just flush it.) I thought that maybe he was trying to use the ferrets as a type of scrubbing bubbles (It was more like shrieking bubbles though). I asked why he put them in there and to that he replied, “So they could go swimming”. In fear that it might cause him psychological damage latter in life knowing he had drowned the creatures I fished them out.

The one thing I think though about these FF’s is that they are cunning. Their strategy is to gather allies, resources and apparently information. I discovered the later when I was taking my HTML class. My homework was saved on a jump drive that was on my computer. I start getting ready for class and find the drive was missing. One of them had taken it from the USB port and hid it under the couch. I think they thought there would be my battle plans on it but I keep that in my head. The set back in my class though was a blow to my morale (not to mention my grades). The professor was not impressed with the excuse that ferrets had eaten my homework.

Other than my jump drive the FF’s have stolen cables to computer, a power supply to some speakers and several floppy disks. I am convinced they are trying to construct a super computer to access the internet. Their plans may be to build a weapon of mass destruction using common household items or just to look at internet porn. Either way they must be stopped. If they run amuck in my house I know they would wreak havoc on a global scale with a high speed internet connection.

My attempts to thwart there plans have been met with opposition on the home front. In regards to their cage that they can sneak out of I offered the idea to electrify the bars with a car battery. I was told that was inhumane, plus the car battery was currently in use on the car. I thought the cage opening could use the modification of a guillotine device fastened from Ginzu knives. This I was reminded may injure small human hands. I have launched a propaganda campaign against the FF’s that has had some success. At every opportunity I try and convince the small 4 year old offspring that ferrets can fly and just need help in achieving a proper velocity and altitude. He has not the strength yet to catapult them to far into the stratosphere but I am patient.

This is an ongoing battle; one that I am sure will leave casualties on both sides. The lines have been drawn and I will update when possible of new events that unfold. Till then, watch you back.

rm_bluejade2832 43M/40F

5/24/2006 6:56 am

we will win we will muhahahahah muhahhahah


rm_young3901 52M

5/24/2006 11:55 am

I feel your pain dude.

BTW, my wife has a very large cat who is trained in the art of assassination. I could inquire "the cat" and see if it would have time in it's very secretive schedule for any new side jobs. If negotiations between yourself and "the cat" are successful I would be more than happy to drop "the cat" off at your house in the middle of June.
Let me know if this is of any interest to you.
Meanwhile I shall confer with "the cat" this evening.

Catharsis33 45M

5/24/2006 3:54 pm

Young3901 the thought has crossed my mind. Though I am alergic to cats so my choice is no ferrets or anaphylactic shock. Somehow I almost prefer the latter. If negotiations with "the cat" were to be initiated and its services were to be contracted, would payment be in the form of food or would the targets be the payment. Either way it will have to look like an accident.

rm_young3901 52M

5/25/2006 1:43 pm


While "the cat" and myself where enjoying martini's last night we discussed your situation. "the cat" informed me that "the job" would be completed in 1 business day and the targets would be compensation in lieu of any payment. It seems "the cat" has a love for F.F's much the same as yourself.

I'm sorry to hear of your allergic reaction to felines. I'm sure that if you choose to accept the conditions of the offer presented by "the cat" you will not even see said cat in your house.

Also "the cat" has informed me that "the job" will appear to be an accident, however there are some concerns regarding the k9 that resides at the same home as the targets.

GentleCouple70 47M/48F

6/27/2006 9:26 am

I don't get on here much but I am glad I did. This was hilarious! I will have to pay more attention to your blogs. G

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