Ouch! Damn medical people..............................  

Catharsis33 45M
81 posts
4/18/2006 5:54 pm

Last Read:
4/21/2006 5:47 am

Ouch! Damn medical people..............................

Ok so I took a road trip to Denver this last weekend. Why? Well I asked to see a specialist for a medical condition I was diagnosed with, hypogonadism. Hypogonadism is the male body's inability to produce testosterone. Regardless of how much the doctors have told me that it is a very common thing, it still bruised my ego some.

Now I have heard every joke you can think of about it. When I told my wife she basically said, "See all that sex we had over the years finally caught up to ya. You have run dry." Then of course my Father was kind enough to tell me, "I was the daughter he never had." So yeah I am a running gag now. LOL. I am used to it now.

My doctor takes these tests and says my testosterone levels are that of a 60 year old man. He said normal men my age have levels of 1200 to 1500 in their system. Mine was 262. A female has a level of 10 to 15, just so you know. Well I ask for a second opinion and almost a year later get to go to an Endocrinology specialist.

This one just happened to reside at the University of Colorado. After an uneventful drive down I get there and check in. I am shown to the room and introduced to the female Endo nurse. This woman was sweet and apparently had a lot of time and money to spend on plastic surgery and lypo. She was about 6 foot and could not of had more than a 4 inch waste. Her breasts were easily DD but they looked as if she had two basketballs attached to her chest (I know some don't like the look but for me I don't care). She explains she will be doing my exam which will consist of a testicular exam. The first thing that runs through my mind is this very hot woman is going to be fondling me and I am going to be very erect while she does it. Now I figured there would be a chaperone or something in there too.

So what male has not had that fantasy though? You are getting an exam from a nurse only to find out you were lucky enough to get the bad bad nympho nurse. As you disrobe she looks at you and says something to the effect of, "Well looks like we are going to have to take a closer look." and then opens her mouth wide and ..... well you get the idea.

I have come to the belief though that some fantasies should just stay fantasies. We did the paperwork part and she instructed me to get on the table so she could examine my chest (yes).. Well I should have taken her up on it then but had to excuse myself to the bathroom.

I returned only to find two other women in the room as well. An older lady who looked strikingly like my Aunt and a young student that was following the older one around. The lady introduced herself as my doctor and said well all the paperwork is ready let us get started. I hopped on the bed and the first nurse started to reach for my shirt but was moved aside by the doctor. She wanted the student to see how she did an exam. (damn it...) She begins unbuttoning my shirt and feeling my chest and abdomen. She asks a lot of doctor type questions then tells me to stand up and pull my pants down.

I stand up, with the bad nurse fantasy far from my thoughts now, and pull my pants and underwear down. This is no lie but the old doctor looks at me in the eyes and says, "Looks like we need to take a closer look." I swallowed hard and tried to keep the image out of my head. For one this lady looked just like my Aunt and two I really did not want that thought when I went back to family picnics. The thoughts did not stay long for she grabbed my right testicle and squeezed. I grabbed the counter next to me and tried to hold back a tear. You know man has to be a man kind of thing, I especially did not want to show weakness or low pain tolerance with the other two females in the room. The old doc asked if it hurt and with the coolest voice I could do I said, "No, not at all."

I think saying that caused the old doc to see if she could hurt me. She called for reinforcements and asked the young nurse to come over. They began taking turns poking and grabbing my balls. One would hit the left and then one would hit the right. Each time they asked, "Does that hurt?" After a minute of this I threw the mister cool voice out the window and reverted back to a toddler by saying, "Ouch, Ow, Owieeeee, stop, STOP, PLEASE!!!!!!!!" With that they stopped playing ping pong with my balls. I felt like curling up in a fetal potion for the rest of the visit.

I wiped my tears with one hand and held the other in a protective posture over my midsection while they finished reviewing my records. Come to find out I was misdiagnosis. Yes all that for nothing. Apparently a few years ago the way the levels were tested was different and the scale went up to 1500. Now normal is considered 180 to 350. So I was relieved that I had normal levels after all.

Morale of this tale is always get a second opinion and of course, tell the doctor it hurts the first time so they don't keep trying.

Catharsis33 45M

4/18/2006 9:32 pm

LOL well I think I would have asked for the video tape of it when you were done. Is it not funny that we would suffer pain just so people can not see how big of a baby we really are.

Catharsis33 45M

4/19/2006 10:54 pm

Well I think if it had only been a dashed fantasy I would have been ok. The testicle ping pong tournament I definately could have done without.

rm_bluejade2832 43M/41F

4/20/2006 7:54 pm

shall i kiss it and make it better

Catharsis33 replies on 4/21/2006 5:47 am:
Kiss it baby, kiss it Mummmmmmmmmahhhhhhh

Become a member to create a blog