It really sucks being a dick...  

ByteChaser2 54M
2834 posts
3/6/2006 5:19 pm

Last Read:
3/21/2006 5:12 pm

It really sucks being a dick...

Ok, so one of you knows this already... On 1 April I'll be named the Western US Regional Consulting Manager for the company. Freekin awesome yeah? You bet! I'll be expanding my territory to include the Mountain time zone west through the Marianas island. Just today, my head count doubled. Remember now, I was just promoted to manager in November.

Simultaneously one of the biggest (professional) ego boosts I've ever had and one of the most chest pounding, knee wobbling, outright skeery responsibilities I could think of under the circumstances. I've spent the last few days contemplating this big change and praying to every pagan god I can think of that I don't fuck this up royal...

Yeah... but. There's always a but...

I just got tipped off about what the motivating factor for this latest promotion is. But before I reveal this dark, earth-shattering revelation, A little background for the newer denizens of ByteChaser's den of iniquity...

I'm a retired Marine Gunny. Ever seen "Full Metal Jacket"? Or "Heartbreak Ridge"? (I was an extra in that movie by the way...) The leads in both were Gunny's. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and Highway respectively. Dicks of the first order. Walking, talking pricks with ears. I'm shittin' you negative, a Gunnery Sergeant is the epitome of Satan's own minion and the fear of nearly every Marine blessed to wear the Blues - including a goodly number of officers...

Anyway (trying desperately nor to digress)... I was hired, before my official retirement from the Corps, by a little upstart software development company specifically BECAUSE of what I represented to the civilian community at large; a hard-assed, no bullshit, right up in your face kind of man. Ask a question, get an answer. Right fuckin now. Don't even think of questioning my honesty or tenacity... cause I'll fill you in on it, I guarantee. And one of us will make sure the medivac chopper arrives at the right coordinates to save your questioning ass...

Yeah, I've left a smoldering carcass or two by the side of the road...

So... This little start-up was bought out by the company I work for now. Of the 13 original employee's, all but 2 hired on as well. Me? They turned me loose on one specific product line with the expressed mission of keeping a segment of developers on target and under budget. Accurate to the nth degree. Whipped up into a frothy mouthed, chest beating frenzy at any hour of the day or night. Yeah, me and my team kicked ass 24-7-365. Of the original 7, only one isn't a manager... and then only because he doesn't want to be a hard-ass. But that's ok. He's doing miraculous things right where he's at and he's happy.

AAAAnnnyway... I got pulled into a small group in the company a couple years back at the urging of my old boss - the CEO and owner of that start-up - specifically because of that history of taking names or taking lives work ethic. I fit in like a glove. A whole team of fire-eating, nail chewing, heart breaking zealots we are. Well, except for a couple...

A little less than a year ago, the big cheese says, "Gunny (yeah, is that a kick in the butt? They call me Gunny), I want you to teach these people about teamwork, the Marine Corps way". Uh... ok, I'm thinking... This is really gonna go over like a sock full of wet mice. Exactly how the hell am I supposed to put these people through 11 weeks of *Marine Corps* team building and not cause them to seek employment in a more "user friendly" company? Yet, in true Marine Corps fashion and in the immortal words of Gunnery Sergeant Highway, I adapt and overcome...

Ad we did... and my team performed as well as could have been expected without signing into a tour in the Corps.

Then, the first promotion. "I got it boss, I'm on this like white on rice" I says. And by the impact of a depleted uranium round on the unwashed enemy, we did good. My team is a no-shit, for real, model for the industry. So I had to kick a little butt... So I had an abuse allegation... I survived and I did what I said I would.

Now... The lead dog says he wants ALL the consultants eating raw meat for breakfast... Ergo, I get to be Gunny Byte again. Isn't 25 years of being the spawn of Satan enough?

Very well... I will adapt. I will overcome.


jussweetlilolme 44F

3/7/2006 7:35 am

If it werent for you "spawn of satan" I wouldn't be the person I am today! I am a total military brat.

So go you go! Teach 'em how to be real men (the women too )and don't forget....
Kick Ass & Take Numbers...

Congrats to you on your continued level of respect & honor bestowed upon you by the company! I think there is no greater gift you can give a person than to recognize their individual talents & then put them to use. For you, spawn of satan seems to be in your cards, so play your hand!

Good luck (yea cause like you need that) and go get 'em!

~Sweets


ByteChaser2 54M

3/7/2006 9:35 am

He Sweets - I just wish I could remember where I put that pentagram


Lapkin4u 43F

3/7/2006 1:00 pm

Congrats! Now go give em' hell!

Letting you know that I am back and in full force, Gunny Byte.


pinkzplaytoyz 51F

3/7/2006 2:43 pm

LOL, half the staff at the "correctional institution" that I work at are ex-military...with a coupla gunnys running around...and even though this phrase is frequently repeated "this ain't the military", I at least am secure in knowing who has my back...and that makes all the difference in the world!


ByteChaser2 54M

3/8/2006 10:58 am

Welcome back lapkin


ByteChaser2 54M

3/8/2006 11:00 am

Yeah playz... I expect a heapin helpin of "get on your face!" is required in corrections... But dayum... It's corporate America out here! LOL


pinkzplaytoyz 51F

3/8/2006 11:34 am

    Quoting ByteChaser2:
    Yeah playz... I expect a heapin helpin of "get on your face!" is required in corrections... But dayum... It's corporate America out here! LOL
I think it's a matter of your bosses not wanting as much "slack" as in a lot of the other corporations...there's a lot of people out there who are simply riding the gravy train...
they want someone who knows what has to be done and who will get it done...
TAG!! you're IT!!!!


ByteChaser2 54M

3/8/2006 12:46 pm

lol pinkz... I expect your right on the mark there.


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