Definitely fiction!  

ByteChaser2 54M
2834 posts
5/25/2006 6:38 pm

Last Read:
6/21/2007 12:52 pm

Definitely fiction!

And just because I really liked Slippy Jo's hand grenade line from And now for something completely different... Here's a quick little piece of fiction for ya's.

And in the off chance the Vatican police are lurking about in here... IT'S ONLY A STORY! It Ain't True! Please don't come to my house and do an anal probe on me!!!


I stood quietly off to the side, trying to hide the hand grenade in my pants pocket. It wasn't easy, the hiding. It bulged as though I'd spent the day browsing 7 minute porno clips and lets face it, standing in the naive of the Sistine Chapel, pitching a trouser tent was what one might call a "career limiting" move.

I know, your wondering what a priest is doing in the Sistine Chapel with a hand grenade in his pocket. I am too. It's a long story...

To start with, I'm not a priest. Not any more. I cast off my vows and left the priesthood better than a year ago. I just like nudity too much.

Every day was a battle between being the chaste and celibate sheppard and a drunken strip club maven. One simply must make a choice and I made mine. Lap dances, nudity, nubile young women... the illusion that I was desired. The illusion, I have come to realize, that was so strikingly similar to the gauzy illusion that there really is a God.

It was on one of my twice daily forays into one of my frequent haunts, a place simply named "NUDE" - and quite aptly so I might add - that one Samuel Fox approached me, striking up casual conversation. Normally a taboo among strangers in a seedy den of sin, but then I'd been taught to listen with compassion and concern... to "be there" as it were.

I know now that I was deftly manipulated by Fox. A sly one this, and so appropriately named to boot. Nights and conversations into our budding friendship, Fox introduced what he termed a "matter of national security". It seems I have certain skills in the art of intelligence gathering and espionage... Who'd have thought right?

I was whisked off to a small encampment in the hills above Los Angeles for my indoctrination and courses in weaponry, explosives, combat tactics... all manner of para-military skills. I learned to sneak and skulk... to blend and indeed to vanish while standing in plain sight.

I wish I'd paid more attention to the vanishing part. Odd that trouser bulges weren't in the curriculum...

But back to my current situation. I am to simply sit next to the elderly gentleman. Yes that one, three rows back and center on the alter. Just sit, reach into my pocket and slip off the grenades pin. Then we find out if I was right or wrong - about God...

Well, daylights wasting. I best get on with it...

rm_justeunfille 58F

5/25/2006 9:42 pm

OK.. I am waiting for the next passage...[gimme gimme]

ByteChaser2 54M

5/26/2006 5:11 am

    Quoting rm_justeunfille:
    OK.. I am waiting for the next passage...[gimme gimme]
lol Man, I wasn't thinking that far ahead! No promises mind you... But I'll see if there's anything else there k?

Or... A new suggestion would be nice

EroticaXTC 51F

5/26/2006 6:54 am

oh, could you please tell me where the naive is in the Sistine chapel, I think I need to stand there too!

ByteChaser2 54M

5/26/2006 7:13 am

lol oops... That would be NAVE... For those NAIVE enough to think I can actually spell

Then again, I am talking about Catholicism so... maybe Naive really IS accurate.

I better stop before the flames start up lol

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