Mid-life crisis or something else?  

ButteryDelight 59F
1961 posts
5/26/2006 11:25 am

Last Read:
8/30/2006 5:42 am

Mid-life crisis or something else?

In the 6 weeks that I have been a member here I have been asked many times why am I here at this site. I will try to explain as best I can. Two years ago I began to question many things. These questions were about my life, choices I have made and decisions yet to be made. I began to doubt myself, the very inner most person I had chosen to be. These questions in my mind were accompanied by a general feeling of unrest, unhappiness and disquiet. I needed..something. I still..need. I have to discover what that something is.

Call it a midlife crisis if you will but these questions have not gone away; only have they become stronger. I am plagued by insomnia filled nights, endless nights where I pace the floor. Some nights I sit on my front porch and stare out at the dark houses and I want to scream and tear mny hair out. Now, before those of you reading this call me insane I have sought counseling. I was told that this kind of thing is very common for women in the 40's and even men as well. I heard the doctor mutter underneath his breath " Not another woman in the throes of a mid-life crisis." I ignored that and gave his counseling a try. Basically, after three and a half weeks I was given a pat on the head and a years prescription for Zoloft.

I have never been the type of person to just sit quietly around, having a "poor little me" pity party. This being the case, when I got home the prescription went into the trashcan and I decided to do something about this unrest myself. Hence, my presence on this site. I was encouraged to join this site by a close friend of mine who is in the BDSM life style and whom said that she went through something similar herself.

As a teenager I wrote a poem during another time of unrest. I will post it here. Please take into consideration I was 14 when I wrote it. But, it fits and explains what I am doing here.

The Journey

Who am I?
What do I want?
What do I need?
I travel a journey towards self

Who am I?
Where will I go
Where will I be?
I travel on a journey towards self

Who am I?
What do I feel?
What do I know?
Only that I travel on a journey towards self.

Any thoughts about mid-life crisis or this post are welcomed.

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
5/26/2006 10:52 pm

i for one am glad you are here....my world is not so large that i ever have too many friends... keep up the writing ...it gets better as one practices...like good sex gotta do it to perfect the talent...*wicked bad girl grins*

SxyCrazyCool 39F

5/27/2006 7:26 am

"These questions in my mind were accompanied by a general feeling of unrest, unhappiness and disquiet. I needed..something. I still..need. I have to discover what that something is."

Ha! I'm not in my midlifecrisis yet, but this sure does ring a bell! The thing is that I know what the thing is that I need, I just don't know yet how to get there.. Partly therefore I write, I think. I have been writing since I was a teenager. I wrote diary after diary and when I discovered the internet I continued to write online. I feel that this site very much agrees with me.. I'm a sexual and open person and the blog-section is where I encountered a lot of wonderful people..

I hope for you you'll find out the same thing and that you will have a happy time blogging here..


Oh yeah.. a little unaskedfor-advice: don't search too far outside yourself (for anything)..

ButteryDelight 59F

5/27/2006 7:43 am


LOL....*eyes wide with astonishment says YOU a bad girl? *grins and laughs. and SEX..what's that?

Thank you for the comments and welcome to my Blog. I hope you return.

Buttery (BD)

ButteryDelight 59F

5/27/2006 9:51 am


I don't know if I would classify myself as a writer, such as you yourself are. I have written all of my life, mostly short stories and poems. A few were published in the school newspaper but I am no where near the talent level of a lot of writers on this site. I am just hoping that the writing will help me on my journey of discovery to self.

Thank you reading my blog and for commenting. I have read some of your blog too. I hope you will continue to come back and comment.

Buttery Delight (BD)

wickedeasy 68F  
31113 posts
5/28/2006 6:35 am

BD - excuse my tardiness but here i am

i have had "midlife crises" since i was 14 - but now i call them inventories. taking stock of what my life is all about, if i am living it well, if i am happy or just biding my time. i am doing that now at 56 and lord knows i don't expect to live until i'm 112, grins.

tank you for your comment - and no one can, can they? but we can offer support and a good pinot grigio and the shared laughter of friendship


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

BadAssBlonde1 58F
4989 posts
5/28/2006 7:50 am

Dearest BD,

It is called "Self Discovery" ... If there is anything in which I can help you with along your Journey, it is for the asking. Glad to see you here.

Lady Hunter / BAB

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

ButteryDelight 59F

5/28/2006 9:22 pm


You have my support in what ever you choose to do. I wish you happiness and defintely that shared laughter and companionship f friends.

Thank you for your comments and for visitng my blog. I hope you will come back.


ButteryDelight (BD)

ButteryDelight 59F

5/28/2006 9:35 pm

Lady Hunter,

I much prefer your " Self discovery" and Easy's "Inventories" to "Mid-life Crisis". And sometimes I wonder about Doctors now a days. They seem to quick to throw a pill at the situation. I would rather voyage then pill pop if at all possible.

Thankyou for your offer of help, it is appreciated and Thank you for visiting my Blog. I hope you will return.

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