Directionally Challeneged..  

ButteryDelight 60F
1961 posts
7/5/2006 2:19 pm

Last Read:
7/16/2006 7:44 pm

Directionally Challeneged..


There are certain things in life I am good at. One of those is cooking. I can cook something with very little effort, am good at cooking and I really enjoy it. I can read and follow most any recipe and make from scratch pancakes and breads. I am also good at singing. I like to sing and seem to have a small talent at it. Mostly, I can make up a harmony part to any song providing that I have heard the song at least once. I often will go through my day humming or singing a tune. Of course I sang to my babies when they were fretful. I also sang to my students when I taught 4 year olds and kindergarten. Nothing gets their attention more then some one singing to them. My husband and children have told me I am a good mother. I have been told that I am a good friend whom will support and listen. Always ready to lend a helping hand when needed. I am also a naturally born speed-reader. If left undisturbed I can read a 600-page book in two hours or less and I can tell you what I read too.

Then there are some things that I do that I am not really good at. One of those is being artistic. My father was an accomplished oil and watercolor artist. He sketched with charcoal and colored pencils too. I have tried because he wanted me too but I am not nearly as talented as he was. Oh, I have taken lessons in school and here in town just three months ago at the local hobby shop. But only discovered I have no talent whatsoever with using charcoal and sketching. The watercolor painting and oil painting comes a little bit easier to me but I still have to work at it. The not being good at art is frustrating but not nearly as much as some of the other things I am not good at doing. I like to say that these things I am not good at doing are “Challenged”. I am not good with electronics. Therefore, I would say that I am “Electronically Challenged” I’ve had a cell phone for three months and I still can't figure out how to read my voice messages! Grrrrrr. There are also many short cuts such as cutting and pasting on the computer that I don’t know how to do. We also have caller ID, call waiting, and call forwarding on our phones at home. I am forever forgetting which button to push and how long to hold down the switch. My microwave is also a mystery to me, with more buttons then you can imagine. I just put something in there to heat up and manually type in the minutes rather then having to worry about the preprogrammed settings. Those preprogrammed settings never seem to work for me as I even managed to burn popcorn once.

The absolute worst thing I am not good at doing is following directions. I call myself “Directionally Challenged” and it is definitely the truth. I can not read a map or follow verbal directions. I have tried many times and always end up getting hopelessly lost. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking what about Map Quest and Road atlases?
Nope. I’ve tried both and neither one have helped me not to get lost. I was a Girl Scout and I can read a compass but what good is it to me to know where North is?

My worst experience with being Directionally Challenged happened with a college girl friend and I. We were in Dallas going to a rock concert. We were looking for the entrance ramp back on to I30. My girl friend was driving and I was navigating. We looked and looked and took turn after turn. I think we were going in circles. But, we still could not find the entrance ramp and cars behind us were beginning to honk at us. So, my friend whipped the car really quickly into a side street where we stopped and turned on the overhead lamp to read the atlas. Now this was at about 2:00 in the morning. Both of us bent our heads to study the map. Ya know how ya get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? The one that say something bad is about to happen and the hair on the back of your neck stands straight up? All of a sudden I had that feeling come over me. I slowly lifted my head to look around. OMG! These dark lumps in front of us were moving. They were standing up. About that time it dawned on me that we had turned on to the docks and those lumps were hobos, winos, druggies, and homeless people. They started to move slowly towards us and we were way out numbered. I grabbed my girl friends arm and pointing as the people moving towards us I screamed lets get the HELL outta here! My girl friend said what and fumbled around trying to find the gas pedal but I didn’t wait for her to do it as those people were getting way too close to us for my comfort. I leaned over, grabbed the steering wheel and with one hand I slammed the gear lever into reverse and at the same time stomped on her foot which had finally landed on the gas pedal. After that it was just like a scene from one of those moves where the cops are chasing the bad guys. We went squealing backwards down the alley, burning rubber all the way. I whipped the wheel and did a neat 360 degrees turn, stomped on the brake, threw the lever into reverse and stomped back on the accelerator. We went careening into the main street and down the road. It was several blocks before I let my foot up off of my girl friends and we pulled over to the side of a well-lit street. Both of us just sat there for a few minutes gasping for breath before we turned to look at each other. I hummed that old Willie Nelson tune, “On the road again” and we both suddenly burst out laughing. We laughed and laughed until our stomachs hurt and tears streamed down our faces.

I still am a Directionally Challenged person but I keep trying. I take little weekend trips every so often just to see if I have improved. So, far the above instance is the only one where something bad almost happened. Most the time my adventures have been fun as well as funny.

What about you? Are there some things you are good at? Some things you wish you were better at? Some things there is no way you are ever going to do?


rm_hotmamaNcols 41F
445 posts
7/5/2006 2:57 pm

I'm directionally handicapped too!! Glad I'm not the only one.


ButteryDelight 60F

7/6/2006 6:01 am

    Quoting rm_hotmamaNcols:
    I'm directionally handicapped too!! Glad I'm not the only one.
Well..it's nice to know I'm not the only one too.

Buttery Delight


ButteryDelight 60F

7/6/2006 6:03 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    I drive nowhere..I always get lost..I think I'm good at being nice.
wow! that's two votes for women being Directionally Challenged. Hmmm..maybe it is a female trait

And YES, Mizhuny..you are very good at being nice.

Buttery Delight


ohcurious14 60M  
1684 posts
7/6/2006 7:31 am

Are there some things you are good at? Eating pussy is what i'm best at. I am a maticulous concrete finisher. Good landscaper too.
Some things you wish you were better at? Wish I we're an even better bowler. I do ok but would like to be better. Wish I were a better golfer too.
Some things there is no way you are ever going to do? I will not jump out of a plane without a parachute, that's for sure. Will never work at a sewer plant or a meat packing house.


ButteryDelight 60F

7/6/2006 11:06 am

    Quoting ohcurious14:
    Are there some things you are good at? Eating pussy is what i'm best at. I am a maticulous concrete finisher. Good landscaper too.
    Some things you wish you were better at? Wish I we're an even better bowler. I do ok but would like to be better. Wish I were a better golfer too.
    Some things there is no way you are ever going to do? I will not jump out of a plane without a parachute, that's for sure. Will never work at a sewer plant or a meat packing house.
Ahem* clears throat..your attention to details such as in landscaping and in concrete finishing no doubt has an impact on your skills as a pussy eater..

Buttery Delight


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