The Perfect Man  

BransonLuvFest 51M/51F
84 posts
3/6/2006 7:27 am

Last Read:
3/16/2006 9:13 am

The Perfect Man

I read MzHunyHole's blog entry the other day about a composite "ideal woman" based on her survey of men's profiles and it reminded me of a funny story...

A single lady found herself turning 30 and still hadn't found Mr. Right. Hearing the tick-tock of her biological clock, she decided to place a personal ad in the local newspaper.

"Wanted: The perfect man. I want a man who won't beat me, who won't run around behind my back, and who is the world's greatest lover. Call 555-1234 and ask for Cindy."

After a few weeks of seemingly endless phone calls and messages from every geek, weirdo, and loser in the area, she cancelled her ad in disgust and disappointment. About a week later, the doorbell rang one Saturday afternoon. Opening the door, she saw a man with no arms and no legs propped up against a post on her front porch.

"Can I help you?" Cindy asked.

"You sure can!" the stranger replied with a smile. "I'm here about the ad you had in the paper."

"Oh," she said. "I cancelled that over a week ago."

"I know, I know. I left a message and you never returned my call. So I had to track you down."

"I'm sorry," said Cindy, "but how could you possibly be the perfect man for me?"

"Simple," said the bizarre little fellow. "I have no arms. So I can't beat you."

"True enough," Cindy observed.

"And I have no legs. So I can't run around on you. It took me 3 days to find somedody to bring me over here and prop me up on your porch."

Cindy laughed. "That's true too. But I also said I wanted the world's greatest lover."

With a smile, the man asked, "How the Hell do you suppose I rang your doorbell?"

tillerbabe 57F

3/7/2006 9:44 pm

VERy cute! (But I so need arms to hold me!)

Allsleeky 37F

3/10/2006 4:47 pm

Thanks for the laugh

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
3/11/2006 1:31 pm

LMAO very good

BransonLuvFest 51M/51F

3/13/2006 9:46 am

Well, just for you, mzhunyhole, he was also bald.

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