Social Skills  

BransonLuvFest 51M/51F
84 posts
1/26/2006 9:34 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Social Skills


Not that it happens to us all the time, but we have noticed an annoying trend here on AdultFriendFinder. Perhaps some of y'all can shed some light on this for us. Because it is a bit puzzling.

We've been contacted by a BUNCH of folks who generally meet our criteria already. We've swapped pictures with over 2 dozen couples and single bisexual women. We've even met a few already. For having been here a couple of weeks, we figure that isn't bad. So we're not overly concerned about the "is it us" angle. But the question does arise when things like this happen. I think that's only human.

Anyway, here's the deal...

Someone contacts you, says they really dig your profile and we seem to have a lot in common. We swap pics and they reply and say they are interested. We email them back and basically say, "Let us know when/where you want to meet. Our schedule is flexible." And then we never hear from them again. WTF?

Are there that many folks on AdultFriendFinder who lack the social skills and common courtesy to email back and say, "We've decided not to meet you?" Are there that many posers who, for some reason unknown to us, want to talk the talk, but not walk the walk and can't admit it? The cardinal rule among swingers is that everyone always has the right to say "No, thank you." So why is it seemingly acceptable on AdultFriendFinder for folks to not do you the common courtesy of replying and saying no? Do people just not realize how disrespectful and rude that is anymore? Or do they just not care? I mean, decent-seeming, educated, professional couples are doing this with some regularity. Has this become socially acceptable behavior and we somehow missed the memo?

If you think you have insight, please let us know.

hardtrucker59 58M/51F

1/26/2006 10:48 am

Dear couple, You have hit the situation on the head. We have been on this site for a month now and we are finding the same problem where no one want to email you back or just say I am sorry but it just wont work out or I am not interested. What happen to the respect. Why play games if you are not interested just be an adult and say so dont leave people hanging this is down right rude!!!!!


Satyr48 69M
1805 posts
1/26/2006 11:30 am

I've found that many of the people here that say they're "ready" really aren't. Many are first-timers who think it will be easy.
They have every intention of meeting but, when it comes time, the reality of them being naked and sweaty with someone they never really met gets the better of them. Especially when it's a couple, and they're all fantasizing about it, and then the husband stops to think about watching his wife with another guy's dick in her mouth... And visa-versa, the wife all of a sudden being slapped with the vision of her husband's dick sliding down another woman's throat. My experience is that the visuals of oral sex are more disturbing than visions of intercourse... (of course, for me it's more of a turn-on - I love the sight of my wife chewing on a big one!)
That's when they back out and are too embarassed to even admit it or contact you...
Don't worry - Meeting the experienced ones who won't back out is worth the sorting through the posers.

Pleasing women in unbelievable ways for 45 years...
You could be next...


BransonLuvFest 51M/51F

1/26/2006 12:34 pm

Satyr48,

I would theoretically agree with what you say and use that as an explanation, but it seems to be the ones claiming to have been "in the lifestyle for ____ years" are doing it as much as anyone else. So there goes that theory!

But we do agree that it is worth wading through all the smoke and mirrors. We're also wondering if it might help "break the ice" a bit when we post some erotic pics of ourselves. We'll see...


fantasia_shares 48M/45F
4164 posts
1/26/2006 9:13 pm

Well, here's my thoughts...

We are busy people. At times we just aren't interested in pursuing a social life that includes other people. We get tired. The constant drizzle and darkness has been depressing, which equals low energy. We have a few couples we'd like to meet, but just aren't chomping at the bit right now to get out and meet them. That is all. Our "swinging" life is secondary to our real life. It is something we do for fun, only. When life is too busy for it to really be fun, we get lazy about making time to follow up on it. When we are ready again, we will get back to the people that are the most interesting to us. That is all.

You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!
{=}


BransonLuvFest 51M/51F

1/27/2006 7:29 am

fantasia,

I completely understand that. We're not complaining about folks not wanting to meet. We're a bit annoyed and puzzled by the ones who say they do, then when you email them back and ask for an actual time/place they just never reply to the email. It's that lack of response that is inconsiderate/disrespectful. We'd be perfectly content with a reply that said, "Not right now. We'll contact you when we're ready," or almost anything else other than...nothing.

The way we were raised, it's just rude not to respond to your personal mail. To us, we interpret this as lack of consideration for others/self-centeredness. So we right these folks off anyway. I spent some time last night pruning some out of our rapidly growing friends network. But it did occur to us that some of these folks just might not KNOW that this is inconsiderate. So we thought we'd bring it up here.

Thanks for your input. I always enjoy reading what you write as I stare at that picture of your gorgeous ass.


OpenMarriageGuy 51M

1/28/2006 9:10 am

I think Satyr48 summed it up pretty well; essentially, the couples and/or singles you're connecting with are just hesitant to go that last mile. And as for those who've "been in the lifestyle X number of years"...don't be too surprised that they could be lying!


BransonLuvFest 51M/51F

1/28/2006 10:08 am

OMG,

Yes, we were beginning to suspect that might be the case...the misrepresentation thing. As for the others, we have been talking to a lot of newbies and/or folk who claim little experience. And that could be a contributing factor to the whole "cold feet" phenomenon. But we always make it clear we're just meeting for dinner/drinks with no expectations. So we didn't really think people would be scared off by that.


fantasia_shares 48M/45F
4164 posts
1/29/2006 9:25 am

LMAO Branson...

Yes, that picture was taken by my hubby...he kinda is proud of his photography there.

You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!
{=}


Become a member to create a blog