Dominating a Man for the First Time (for women)  

BondJames1954 61M
11 posts
9/10/2006 3:47 pm
Dominating a Man for the First Time (for women)

Dominating a Man for the First Time

Before You Start:

First you need to determine if he's interested in being dominated. Chances are you're reading this for one of two reasons: either he's already indicated he is interested, or you're interested and aren't sure he is. Well if you already know he wants to be dominated, mission accomplished. If you don't know, the easiest way is to ask him. Well, perhaps it's not the easiest for you, but it's definitely the most direct.

An important thing to find out before you start is what are he likes besides just being dominated. There are so many different definitions of domination and so many related fetishes. A few related fetishes may include feet, anal (giving or receiving, fingering, licking or fucking), spanking, bondage, leather, humiliation, cross-dressing, etc. Some men want to be punished physically while others want to be punished emotionally. Some just want to serve a woman and rewarded when they do it right. Some want to really be hurt while some only want the illusion. Finding out his particular pleasure (and yours!) is very important so everyone enjoys the adventure. After all, the whole point of domination is to fulfill fantasies and pleasures.

Don't judge his fetishes, just determine which ones you want to include. Everyone has limits, so find yours. And find his. You want to cause pleasure, not panic. The best way to do this is to ask him. The idea of asking him may be frightening, somewhat awkward, and embarrassing. However, some of the things you will be doing require an amazing amount of trust. If you can't talk to him, you aren't ready for that level of trust. Just think of it as one of the sexiest conversations you've ever had. Honestly, if he has fantasies of being bound, asking him details about how to tie him will do nothing but make him focus on his fantasy. Odds are he'll thank you for it a hundred times over.

Domination is partially about physical power and partially about the perception of being overpowered. The illusion of being completely helpless is a major key to why domination is so sexy. He'll never be truly helpless because of the safety word (see the next paragraph for an explanation), but it's your job to feed the illusion. It's part of the game.

The last issue of preparation is the most important: safety. This isn't the safe sex discussion. Chances are you've heard that lecure a hundred times over. (If you haven't, look elsewhere for the mechanics of safe sex.) This safety issue is about the safety word. Pick a word that will never be mentioned as part of the hot, sweaty, dominating fun. In other words, don't pick "no" or "stop" or "you're hurting me". Those might be said to make the game more realistic. Pick something completely off-the-wall like the make of your car, your favorite musician, or "Constantinople." Just make sure it is something that can't be confused with anything else except the desire to stop everything that's happening. Here is where trust plays a crucial role. You must trust him enough to say the word when he needs to, and he must trust you enough that you'll stop when he says the word. No matter what, everyone must stop when that word is spoken because someone isn't comfortable. Discuss why the word was spoken. Just because he was uncomfortable with one thing doesn't mean he won't want to try twenty others. It doesn't mean to stop dominating him altogether.


First of all, relax. Chances are he's not an expert at this either. He'll be excited enough that you're trying and willing, so you don't need to be an expert. Remember that it's a game. It's just a temporary, role-playing game that's supposed to be fun and sexy. Afraid you'll laugh or won't be able to pull it off? Just remember two things: 1. It's role-playing, which means you literally play a role. You can act like a dominatrix just like acting in a play. You get to be someone else, so play it up! 2. He wants you to do this for his pleasure. You're fulfilling a fantasy for him, which is one of the sexiest, most intimate things partners c

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