Happy Anniversary To Me  

BlueCanary1575 43M
110 posts
8/23/2006 9:58 pm

Last Read:
8/30/2006 5:04 pm

Happy Anniversary To Me

I've been aware that this post today has been coming up, but I had never decided exactly what I was going to say.

One year ago today, I asked my now ex-fiancee to marry me. For the locals, we were on top of Camelback Mountain on an early morning hike. I gave her the engagement ring used by both my father and grandfather. It had my grandparents' initials and their wedding date inscribed on it, 11-4-38. I'm not sure whether it was a sign or just happenstance, but the ring didn't fit, literally. We planned on having it resized, but never did.

We were happy for a while, announcing it to our family and friends, planning the wedding, planning our life together. But, over the holidays we started to have our problems. By April it was pretty much over. I had the ring back -- along with a failed engagement.

I never blame her entirely for things going wrong, but I often take all the blame myself. I'm not perfect, and I was never really what she wanted -- or needed. Whether I knew that all along is something that I'm not sure of, but the the fact that I am unsure still bothers me.

But, tonight, my future has a completely different look than it did on this night a year ago. And tonight all that matters is to try and think about the "what will be" instead of the "what might have been." I think I'll make a drink, and a toast, alone.


Addy19742 44F

8/24/2006 4:42 am

Oh You! I will toast with you. My anniversary is in October! I hope you are thinking what will be. I think life will bring you a great surprise!

BlueCanary1575 replies on 8/24/2006 8:33 pm:
Heh... maybe we could split the difference and celebrate in the middle of September.

rm_wetfingeraz 55F
3012 posts
8/24/2006 4:29 pm

Happy anniversary. Better that you found out you weren't meant for each other BEFORE the wedding, rather than after.

Maybe the ring is like Cinderella's glass slipper, only meant to fit the Right One?

BlueCanary1575 replies on 8/24/2006 8:36 pm:
That's a nice thought. I'll hold on to it.

lostmydrinkagain 45F
2272 posts
8/24/2006 10:39 pm

I'll toast you, Here's to tomorrow and all the wonderful things that life has instore for you.

sidenote~first time I climbed camelback I thought I was going to die, each time after got better and better. I'm glad I didn't give up and I'm even gladder that I went back.

BlueCanary1575 replies on 8/25/2006 1:29 pm:
Thanks for the toast. Much appreciated.

marathonman45202 54M
6640 posts
8/26/2006 2:25 pm

I will preface what I have to write by saying that I am not implying that business relationships have the same place in our lives as committed, love relationships.

Two years ago, I left a lucrative job to join a friend in a business venture (that he already owned). When he approached me, I had no intention of leaving a situation where I was mostly happy, but the venture captured my imagination. I thought and talked about it for months, before I decided to dive in.

It was clear to me within a year that the promises made weren't going to be kept, so I started to make my exit plan. It was not a horrible situation, but it wasn't one that I desired. I joined him because I knew there would be opportunity for success and ownership.

Long story, short: In a surprise move I was fired (after being very successful and helping his business grow significantly). It was a blow (never been let go from a job in my life), but I have to admit that I was relieved to move on. It was a clear sign to me that the universe sometimes pushes me sooner than, and in ways that I might not push myself.

I am in a much better place now, working hard for myself. "What might have been" really helped define "what will be" in a very positive way. I often find that the struggle ends up being worth it in the end.

BlueCanary1575 replies on 8/26/2006 3:27 pm:
Wow. Thanks for the story.

rm_aboutme66 53F
6047 posts
8/27/2006 12:48 am

Great post.

Someday is today.

BlueCanary1575 replies on 8/27/2006 5:28 pm:

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