Closure-my frustrations--**Revised**  

Black__Dragon 48M
175 posts
7/2/2005 10:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Closure-my frustrations--**Revised**


Why do I hold false hope of returning to my past? Knowing full well that she doesn’t want me anymore, even if I did return I know things would not be the same or changed... Especially since I see no effort on her part to reconcile our differences... Hell she's not exactly blowing up my phone to talk with me... I find myself hesitating to move forward although I know that at least in my mind she has spread her wings and has flown away. I find myself hung on this point. I really don’t question myself anymore about the woulda coulda shoulda aspect of us... I totally understand where we went wrong, that in my mind has been validated... and if even I wanted to return to her I would need at least the acknowledgement that she will take responsibility for her actions and assurance that the past stays in the past so we can move on.. Cause like I've said before, I've owned up to my failures.... But of course that’s a pipe dream I need to get my crap together and move on… When we do talk I feel she’s just trying to get info out of me and stringing me along…I guess that’s my curse that she knows I care… Random thoughts of a lonely mind…

Pt II

Time to point my compass and set sail...I've done a good job of creating a bright future with very good prospects... Oh how I hate feeling this way... Happy and satisfied one moment in the dumps the next. My place is a mess I need to clean it. Clothes all over the place... I dread being disorganized and its only when I feel this way... Oh how I know she is so not good for me.... Shes done a doozy on me and I fall for the dumb trick every time. I just want to see her so she can force me to be free

Pt III

She never loved me completly

She never loved me intensly

She never loved unconditionally

Yet in still I gave her the best of me

So many want and desire what I have

I'm stuck in the past begging with a tin can

I put my touught out to the masses altough my desire is to be discovered by the one...

Its all out there I can't take them back I dont want too my soul will never recant...

I will have my deliverance

Become a member to create a blog