Skinny Girl Trapped in A Big Body  

BigBeautyBeotch 50F
15 posts
6/19/2006 11:51 am

Last Read:
6/22/2006 10:09 am

Skinny Girl Trapped in A Big Body

I wasn't always overweight ya know. Most of my adult life, I've been a size 6. Now, I'm a size 18/20. I'm still the same person with the same personality and pretty face that I had when I was skinny. Wait, I take that back. I do act differently now. I'm treated differently now by people, all people, not just men. Being fat is the last thing that is openly and socially acceptable thing used to discriminate against a person. I had a friend tell me that I had a "skinny girl's personality" and that you could tell that I used to be skinny at one time. What the hell is a skinny girl's personality? Apparently, they are more outgoing and don't give a shit what people think. Huh? Hey! I still don't give a shit what people think it's just that I don't like as many people as I used to when I was skinny. I see how nasty people can be over something so silly. I normally get the old, "You would be so pretty if you just lost some weight!". Did you ever ask me how or why I got heavy? No, you just assume that it was because I was lazy and ate like a pig. People in general just treat you like shit when you are heavy. I'm a very clean girl, dress well and always have my hair and makeup done. However, I am apparently a lazy, overeating pig. People are surprised that I'm as outgoing as I am. I guess fat people are not supposed to be outgoing or friendly. Maybe we are supposed to be "jolly". So because I can stand to lose a few, I must stay in the background and keep my mouth shut? Who made up these rules? Society makes a fat person feel worthless. Hell, why is it that all the plus size departments on the second floor of stores? I never noticed this until the other day. Is it because they think we need the exercise? Do you just want to hide that whole department out of the way so the "normal" sized people don't see it? Who cares! The clothes suck anyway! God forbid that a large person has to wear a light color let alone a bright one. If we want to wear a print, we should just be shot on sight. How dare we want to dress like the "normals"?!!??? If the skinny folks are so concerned with us fatties, why don't they try and fuck us skinny?!?!?!? Guys seem to love to fuck a fat chick but they can't be seen with one. Why is that?

Have you always been fat? If not, do you notice a difference in the way that people act towards you? Any war stories? Did you used to be fat and now you are skinny? Are you a fat girl in a skinny body? I'm interested in seeing how other chubbo's feel.

buddhamike 107M
7006 posts
6/19/2006 1:10 pm

I was once seriously overweight,then I lost 2 pounds a month for three years. 70 pounds total. Is there a difference in the way you are treated? There sure is. Now I'm right in betweem the two weights. The bottom line seems to be, very slim, or anything else. I'm probably abut average weight for a man my age, living in my area now, but that doesn't matter. I'm not REALLY thin, so I still get treated pretty much like when I was much more heavy.

Oh, well, so is life. I know from the time I lost all of the weight that I could do it. So I figure it's my responsibility to deal with it. It also helps me understand about the difference between people who will judge me by my waist size, and the people who use other standards to evaluate a person.

BestThingsRFree2 52M

6/19/2006 1:36 pm

Boy, did you nail it!

I was the uber-jock through high school, with Judo being my main sport. Then, at 18, I blew a knee out about 4 weeks before I met my girlfriend, who would end up being my wife of 16 years. She liked to eat out. She was one of those 'naturally thin' people. So, I went from working out in some form or another 7 days a week to eating 7 days and only working out when we had sex.

So, I gained weight. Heavy, but not bad, through my 20's. At about 33 I REALLY gained. Ended up 6'2" and 364 pounds.

And all of the sudden, I wasn't a threat. At work, interpersonally, didn't matter. Fat guys just aren't 'competitive'. I actually used that to my advantage to forward my career.

One of the benefits of having low physical self confidence is that you REALLY learn how to please a partner. My ex was actually happier with out sex life when I was heavy than at any other time, just because of how attentive I got to her needs. Kind of says something, doesn't it?

At 35, I started losing weight. Ended up losing 130 pounds plus change. Kept it off for 3 years.

During that persiod, people really did treat me differently. I would never touch someone in a committed relationship. I jhave felt that pain, and wouldn;t put anyone else through it. But married and 'attached' women started treating me like I could be bad news. Quiter. Less interested in maintaining relationships. And guys were less open at work, less likely to introduce me to girlfriends, etc.

So, yeah, there is a difference. I am up about 40 pounds from my lowest weight. I discovered that stress, especially a bad relationship, is my eating trigger. So, I have been eating too much. Not working out. You know the drill.

I am back after it now, though. I will never be one of those skinny pretty boys you see in magazines. Instead, I am a really large guy, very strong, and more of the outdoorsy type. But apparently to women, that is all hidden behind fat.

Oh well, their loss.

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
6/19/2006 8:04 pm

Welcome to the blogs!

BigBeautyBeotch 50F

6/20/2006 5:13 pm

    Quoting luvs2play1969:
    I just had this discussion with one of my friends the other day. A lot of men are closet big girl lovers. We both agreed that the men were the ones with the self esteem problem. As for me, yeah I have always been a bigger girl and have struggled with it most of my life. I used to walk on the inside of the sidewalk so people wouldn't yell nasty things to me as they drove by (unfortunately it has happened to me a few times). After being married for nine years and having twins, I am now more comfortable in my own skin. I feel that I am who I am, take me or leave me. If people are going to treat me bad because of my outside, they are not worth knowing the person on the inside and that's the part that counts the most!
OMG!!!! I know exactly what you are saying about guys being closet BBW lovers. I've had a fuck buddy for 10+ years and he told me the same thing. He says he knows a lot of his friends fuck big girls on the side but would never take them out in front of their friends. Funny thing is that I've always ended up with really skinny guys who had a hang up about being too "small" or weak looking. They couldn't gain weight to save their life. How ironic. I've had people talk shit to me too. Most of the time it is women though. Vicious bitches. The one funny thing is that when I was skinnier, white guys would chase me down and now that I'm bigger? Black guys chase me down. It's just too funny how men are.

BigBeautyBeotch 50F

6/20/2006 5:13 pm


rm_PhxPhatChick 59F
202 posts
7/1/2006 7:05 pm

I've been heavy most of my life. I've been the size 6 girl too. Funny thing is that when I dieted myself down during my 20s, it was so that everything in my life would be fixed! Talk about the wrong motivation. What I discovered is that my problems weren't all that much different even as a skinny girl. Actually the men problems increased since I was dating more.

So now, I'm trying to incorporate a new way of eating in my life. A lifestyle change that's helping me drop a pound here and there, and it's working slowly and that's okay. The thing I've come to realize is that I have to improve my diet to assure my health. And I'm glad I've made changes. For once in my life I'm eating better because I want to do it for myself. It's not about a guy, it's not about getting laid, it's not about fitting into some stupid dress. Finally, it's about me.

But getting back to your question, yes, large folks get treated differently than skinny folks. It's ever so apparent every day. My favorite is when I'm out shopping, where ever, and the clerk helps the skinny girl first even if I've been waiting longer. I used to just stand there steaming, but now I say something, usually not in the nicest way. I get tired of being treated like a second class citizen just because I'm fat. And frankly, I won't stand for it ever again if I can help it. I will report a disrespectful employee to management every time.

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