BenefitsFriend69 58M/62F
1008 posts
3/29/2006 10:43 pm

Last Read:
4/7/2006 9:51 am


Back in the early-mid 90’s I wrote some shitty computer books that got published. They were a lot of work. The editor was an uptight twit, and the publisher was a tightwad skinflint wanker with serious short man big belly syndrome, who butt-fucked me and the other writers doing this series any chance he got on terms, conditions and payments. I coulda made more money working at McDonald’s than the royalties from those things. But in the end, I did manage to wrangle a few checks out of them.

I bought a hot tub with the first check. I didn’t know how to shop for a hot tub in those days and paid like $3500 for a pretty small one. It has been a real trooper all these years and survived a couple moves and a divorce, so I ain’t complain’.

A few weeks ago, a friend and I were sitting in the hot tub on a long cool star-filled Colorado night. I won’t mention names, but later that night I thought I saw someone running across the yard with knives… Isn’t that dangerous? Hee hee.

I thought I smelled something burning, like plastic-rubber. I opened the door that leads to the underbelly of spider webs and leaves under the tub. Smoke. Ugh… But the thing kept running, so we kept soaking.

The next morning I went out and turned it on. Nothing. I tripped the local breaker under the tub. Nothing. I tripped the main breaker in the house. Nothing. Fuck. My Bohemian brother had done the wiring when we moved the tub from the ex’s years ago, and I didn’t watch. The inside breaker box was stuffed away in the corner behind PVC pipes going everywhere and the hard foam insulating the bottom of the tub. I turned off the power in the main breaker in the house then tried to get it out. I wrestled and wrangled and tugged and pulled and pushed conduit and skinned my hands and eventually got it out of there. I took the box apart and saw the melted goo on the bottom of the breaker box. It looked like something out of a sci fi creature brain. There were eight wires crammed in there and bolted to slots and twisted into couplings ‒ how in the fuck do they all go back in? One of the wires was fried, at least on the end.

I wrote down which wires went where, and painted some with nail polish to color code them so I’d know where to put them back. I skinned the burned out one, luckily I saw shiny copper about an inch down, so the burn wasn’t that bad. I went to Home Depot and got the exact same box, only 11 bucks! I brought it home, then pushed and prodded and bent wires around and eventually got it all wired up and inside the box. I turned on the main breaker in the house. I switched the one on in the tub. Whir!! Yay! Success!! Nothing sparking!

Ah shit, there’s leak… Water coming out of somewhere, where? Fuck. I drain the tub. I dry everything. I start to fill it up again and see where it’s leaking. Junction between a steel pipe and a PVC pipe. I take it all apart. There it is, a broken seal. O ring. I go back to home Depot with the little fucker in hand. They don’t have the seal. I go to the plumbing shop. They have the seal. 92 cents…

I go home, super-glue the seal to the steel pipe, line up the PVC, put on the two pieces of the threaded outer apparatus that holds them together. I screw it in, then tighten it down as much as I can with my hands. I start to fill the tub. Water drips out of the place I was just working on, slowly this time. Fuck. I get the channel locks and turn the fuck out of it. The leak stops. I turn on the breaker in the house, then turn on the breaker in the tub. NOTHING. I turn off the breaker in the house, and take the breaker in the tub apart again. One of the wires had slipped out of its screw-down due to my moving it around so much to get at the leak. I pushed and pulled and jousted and got it back in. I turned the breaker back on in the house, then turned the one on in the hot tub. Whir! Yay!

I then spend 15 minutes bleeding the air out of the system, and finally the jets circulate! Still a slight leak, a few drops, when the jets are going. I give it another twist with the channel locks. No leak now.

40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 degrees over a couple hours. It’s back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I smoke a bong, pour a glass of wine, take off my clothes and settle in.. AHHH… All is well with the world once again.

runzwithknives 61F

3/30/2006 5:28 am

Hot Damn!! Agree w/honni, gotta love a man who can use his tool(s).
Crank it up and pass that beer, LOL!!

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 3/30/2006 10:15 am:
Hey Rosa, should I tell ya where the key is? lol

digdug41 50M

3/30/2006 5:51 am

well thats a good thing you are handy, me I woulda got taken for my loot lol good to see ya around BF cya later

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 3/30/2006 10:16 am:
Hey dig. I almost gave up and called the shop when that last leak hit lol! Thank God for channel locks...

saddletrampsk 55F

3/30/2006 10:12 am

gotta love a handy hand me that reefer..

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 3/30/2006 10:18 am:
(giant sucking sound) -- 'ere ya go. Feel free to bogart, I'll roll us another one...

runzwithknives 61F

3/30/2006 12:34 pm

Sure, but just don't go hidin' your tool(s)

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 3/31/2006 9:22 am:
Heh heh... Na, the tools are easy to find.

(Princess Lips)

3/30/2006 7:32 pm

bubble on...


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 3/31/2006 9:23 am:
Thanks princess, sometimes I get raw...

warmandsexy52 66M
13164 posts
4/1/2006 10:39 am

It's amazing how handy we guys can be when the motivation's there!

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/2/2006 3:30 pm:
Yes! I think I'm actually gonna squeeze another year out of it... My muscles are already thanking me.

Kitten75103 60F

4/3/2006 6:29 pm

Gotta love Home Depot...Great story....Don't you just love it when one project turns into 3 or 4?
Wish I was closer, you cute, and I could use a night in the tub, even if most cats don't like to get wet....

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/3/2006 9:15 pm:
Here kitty kitty kitty.. Here kitty kitty kitty.. Love your profile. If you're ever up Colorado way, you have a buddy to roam the alleys with.


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