Last Shroom Night  

BenefitsFriend69 58M/61F
1008 posts
7/12/2006 12:21 am

Last Read:
9/28/2006 9:26 pm

Last Shroom Night

Check out [post 423328], this guy is a great writer. Got me thinking..

For the record, and for the time capsule containing blogland, this story is entirely a work of fiction.

On Sunday morning, I’m cleaning out the garage and find a plastic baggie in a shoe box on the top of a shelf. Oh yeah, I remember: those mushrooms I got for Halloween last year that we never did, forgot all about those. I see this as a sign from God.

I call my buddy Lance. “Hey, whatcha doing Friday?”

Lance: “Actually Annie’s going to her mom’s, so nothing. You?”

Me: “Wanna have some fun?”

I call my best friend Mark, turns out he’s free too. Lance invites his sidekick, Ken.

On Friday, the four of us go to Lance’s, who has a nice big screen TV. We rent Blazing Saddles, divvy up the shrooms, down them with a couple (ah, few) beers. 45 minutes later, we start laughing. We put in the movie.

Next thing you know, all four of us are in a state of hysteria. Every time we see Cleavon Little’s face, we start laughing so hard that we miss the next five minutes. Tears running down our cheeks. The neighbors must have thought we were fuckin certified. Every line, every scene, turned into a belly laugh that just rolls on and on. I felt diaphragm pain. My whole face hurt. But I couldn’t stop. Neither could they. After the movie, the whole night goes like that. We’re crackin jokes, talkin shit, everything was so hilarious.

Time folds. Next thing you know it’s 2:00am. We’re hungry, but still up, still some trip going on. I’m not sure if I can eat, they all want to.

I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror at my eyes. Sproooiiinngg!! Like the cartoon characters when they get those pinwheels springing out of their eyes. I stare at my face, it looks funny. I start laughing (of course), go back into the living room.

Lance: “Well nothings open except Denny’s, let’s go!”

Me, with a slight edge of paranoia: “Hmm, you think that’s wise?”

Lance: “Yeah what the fuck we’ll be fine.” Turns to Ken and Mark and shrugs. They both shrug, and into the car we go. Little did we realize that it was Friday night and 2:00am, and the bars were just letting out.

We pull into the Denny’s parking lot, walk up to the door. It’s summertime by the way, so it’s warm out. We step into the foyer and the first thing we see is a young woman, 21 if a day, sitting on the little waiting bench. She’s totally decked out and made up, and plastered. She has medium-length blonde hair, bright red lipstick, and a short short black miniskirt, which was hiked up on top of that. Long legs, bare. As we walked up she uncrossed her legs and gave us a view straight underneath! No panties, totally shaved! Then she looks right at me and grins. Fuck, why me??? Ahhhhhh!! Hellllppp!!! I turn away and look for a place to run.

The waitress seats us. We quietly make our way to the table in the midst of the drunks ‒ the place is full, I’m thinking it looks like the set in the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Hope nobody notices us! Hope nobody throws up.

We sit down. At the table next to me were six drunk young women who looked like they’d just been to a male strip show or something. They kept looking over and saying stuff to us but we kept ignoring them as much as we could. Then the one next to me said something really loud, obviously meant for me. I looked over. She was a big, cute, inebriated woman.

Next thing I know, she’s grabbing my arm and saying, “Hey hey! Say hello to my new friend, TYRONE!” She grabs this huge black dildo that was sitting on the table and starts waving it around. The table full of girls starts cracking up and banging shit around. Lance, Ken and Mark look over with totally incredulous smirks on their faces. Oh god, if we start laughing in here… But we were down enough to control it.

On the other side of the table, two flaming gay guys were in an argument:

#1: “Well fuck YOU!”

#2: “Oh no no no, fuck YOU motherfucker!”

#1: “Oh no, fuck YOU!”

#2: “Oh no no no, fuck YOU motherfucker!” And so on and so forth.

(From the table on the other side of them filled with young drunk Army guys): “Hey why don’t y’all go fuck each other?” And then an eruption of thundering laughter from that table. Oh my God, Tyrone and the girls to the right, gay fight to the left. I say sweet Jesus, bring us our grub!

The waitress starts setting down the plates. “Wow, you guys are the quietest table in here!” We smile sheepishly. Uh, yeah… We start eating. Fast.

Five minutes later, one of the gay fight duo stood up, and smash! Something glass breaks. He runs out of the restaurant, his buddy follows him. One of the guys pulls down his pants and sticks his ass on the window, right next to Lance’s face. Lance looks over. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ah fuck man, pimples!” That did it. The laughter swell starts to come back. We know we gotta move soon. We move.

On the way out, we see a cop car pulling up. We have a pretty good guess that it’s not us they’re after. We were right. The two guys had taken their argument to the parking lot. Loudly. That was our omen. Back to Lance’s, then home to bed. My face hurt for a week.

gloriousjourney 40M
62 posts
7/12/2006 12:59 am

ahhhh, psilocybe cubensis...what a fascinating extraterrestial fungi you are...

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/12/2006 6:56 pm:
Heh heh heh.. Yes, fascinating. I am WAY overdue.

runzwithknives 61F

7/12/2006 5:02 am

Those were the days. Takes me back. Oh, right, fiction. Just fiction...

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/12/2006 6:56 pm:
Ha yeah Rosa. What if I were to say this work of fiction takes place in the recent past? xoxoxo

1586 posts
7/12/2006 8:21 am

Ah, the joys of the post-partying Denny's run...

One thing you can say about a late night Denny's session is that it is never boring.

You captured the drunken/stoned/wacko vibe perfectly!

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/12/2006 6:56 pm:
Thanks little buddy. Hey was that you at the table with Tyrone????

sexymamma662003 32F

7/12/2006 8:34 am

no fair you didnt share with me lol


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/12/2006 6:57 pm:
Sorry sexy. Next time I'm in Elko I'll bring a bag, but ya better pack a night shirt baby!

OboesHonedIambs 63F

7/12/2006 5:46 pm

Too funny!

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/12/2006 6:58 pm:
Thanks hun, you know what I'm talkin bout...

Transblucency 45M

7/12/2006 7:22 pm

That's excellent.

Sproooiiinngg!! Like the cartoon characters when they get those pinwheels springing out of their eyes.

There's nothing quite like extreme pupillary dilation at the end of a long night reflected back to you from some dingy public restroom mirror. On occasion, I'd idly wonder what it would be like if one day I looked in the mirror and one pupil was an absolutely massive saucer, but the other one was shrunk down to a tiny, crazy little pinprick.

I blame the cheap florescent lights for sending my mind down such mordant paths - no one ever looks their best under bathroom florescents.

Dennys on hypothetical hallucinogens would be a trip alright.

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/13/2006 6:02 pm:
Heh heh thanks.

I remeber other nights when I just stared into the mirror for ages, kinda like you on the tube with the pants. I think I even saw God once.

1586 posts
7/13/2006 9:35 am

Darling, I would never be seen in public with anyone (or anything) named Tyrone.

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/13/2006 6:08 pm:
Ha little buddy, good thing. I was gonna change my name but now...

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

7/14/2006 10:38 am

haha, your fictional shroom night sounds a whole lot better than my real life lsd night, but that was a long time ago

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/17/2006 9:54 pm:
What, only one night? I see a blog in your future about this...

rm_sloman44 61M
701 posts
7/15/2006 1:48 pm

Now my face hurts! Way to funny! If you have any left over bring 'em with you.

[blog sloman44]

BF69 you are invited!

sexymamma662003 has requested your presence at The First Annual Bloggers Orgy. Click above to accept.

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 7/17/2006 9:55 pm:
LMAO slo! Thanks, I'll try to make it over there for some abuse..

shelby427cobra 49M
24 posts
8/11/2006 5:19 pm

Yes, occasional reminders of one’s adolescence can be entertaining, no?

shychurchmouse 50F
239 posts
9/12/2006 4:21 pm

BF I have no clue why I had not checked back to see if you were writing again. I had a lot to read though. Last time I took fictional shrooms, smoked pot, got the munchies, not brave enough to go to Denny's; ate more fictional shrooms, smoke more a vicious cycle. The black and white TV now suddenly color but all the wrong colors. A vase of flowers highlighted in neon colors; have to get a pic of that, that is so cool. Still have the pic but for some reason the flower are just normal flowers. Aww well damn enough about fictional shrooms. Take care.

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