Post Number 114....  

BaronessK 53F
1646 posts
7/17/2006 1:15 am

Last Read:
11/13/2006 12:55 am

Post Number 114....

Why am I here? No, not 'here' {Earth, Life, whatever}, but here on AdultFriendFinder.

Because I type really fast and I like to f'amble.

Because at one time I was seriously looking for someone.

Because at one time I seriously sort of 'forgot' how f'n 'weird' I am!

Because I have too much time on my hands some nights, and am too lazy to do much else lately {because not much interests me much lately}.

Because I have a deep psychological need to 'delve' into the psyche of others; blogs and comments are an excellent way to do that.

Because I 'segue' so much in real life, in my thinking, that this is a way to somewhat more 'concretely' have a 'record' of what I was taking a segue to/from/through at that time.

Because I like the interaction; even 'fucktards' give me a venue to 'rip' into someone {and every now and then...come on, like y'all didn't guess already...I ENJOY it!}

Because I have made some 'friends' here.

Because, for now, this is what I want to do, how I want to spend this amount of time, etcetera.

Because of and in spite of. {Because...see above...and in spite of fucktards, being on current 'mental shutdown', having other things that are beginning to 'need to be done', only having one phone line and being on dialup, not knowing that J may or may not ever come out of 'sabbatical'....}

I am so mentally tired. I want my Daddy. I am not feeling 'old', nor 'used', nor 'abused', or anything like that. Perhaps a bit lonely, I suppose; but even that could be wrongly misinterpreted, because I am a bit of a 'loner'. I miss John Mark, too. It is not that hard to love someone until death do you part; it's hard to keep on loving them, when you are the one that must go on -- to remember them exactly the way they really were {'faults' and all, because that is what made them uniquely 'them'}. To hold a love in your heart, without letting the pain of losing them, in part, is hard...very, intensely hard to let go and hang on at the same time. In a way, J's sabbaticals are like that for me...he's gone, somewhere, and he may or may not come back {because we never know about the future, not really}. I miss him as only I can miss him, because he and I together made up the only 'we' or 'us' that only we can make up.

I was reading CS's {ComplexlySimple's} blog yesterday {or maybe it was this afternoon when I got up to go to work...but that part doesn't matter}...and I asked him if I could use part of what he said sometime as a quote. "I need a lot of attention even though I don't need to be taken care of...and it needs to be complete spiritual, emotional and physical...." I told him, "That's a soul mate...and I remember that." I do remember that...so clearly, so close yet so far away.... The sadder part of it all was when CS replied to my request to use that part of his statement as a quote, and he responded, "Feel free to use that quote...I probably won't be using it again...." That has such a sad ring of finality to it, to me at least it does.

How many people in life close themselves off from the ever so personal 'stuff' when life hasn't met their expectations {or worse, failed them in their expectations, even to 'bottom' point}? Why does it seem as if those who are the most open to experiences, counting love {or especially} seem to have so much difficulty in finding what they so earnestly want, need, desire.... As I said before...'tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all...BUT who added up the 'final COST' of such a wonderfully, terrible 'thing'?

Keep in mind, here at this moment, I am not talking about myself either directly or indirectly {in regards to closing myself off}. I have seen and played and loved among the stars, and then walked the depths of hell, itself...but I walked into the relationship knowing that I might also, later, have to walk through those fires at some point. I am not fire proof, by no means...but by no means was I willing to avoid or let go of what I had...because of and in spite of.

Okay, since I need to get some sleep and I haven't finished working on the index for the starting blog page and all...IF I was to ever change my blog title {not bloody likely! }, I thought up a few 'possibles'. What do you think of...

Baroness' Blog

Baroness' Bordello Blowjob Blog

Lead me not into temptation...for I already know the way.

fuck you if you can't take a joke {with listing of that in other languages...to be helpful!}

The Other Side of the Looking Glass

Don't Panic

Key to Time

Using the Force

Searching for Key Largo

Comment Whore Seeking Comment Wanker{s}

No Comment! {Well, it works opposite when I say no emails! }

Type Faster Baby Oh Type Faster

Computer Working, Mind Down

And you thought you were weird....

Fuck.

Geekess Goddess Going Geek

Girl Who Wears Glasses...Can Make Her Own Passes

Bitch This

Bitch That

That's not sexual harassment; I can show you sexual harassment.

oral fixation, manual dexterity, mental acrobatics

I suck...and, no, you can't 'see'!

my kids' mom wore combat boots

Twin Peaks 44DD

Just because you have one, you don't have to be one.

Give it a shot in this lifetime.

It's 3 O'clock in the morning, and it looks like it's going to be another sleepless night.

All my life.

Gone to my happy place...be back when I f'n feel like it.

I say, UNfuck you!

Give me the right emoticon....

Well, it's 3 in the morning...whadya want, the Odyssey, Shakespeare, a Picasso in words?!



skyking412004 55M
5363 posts
7/17/2006 3:17 am

_____I like ..."The Other Side of the Looking Glass, or, Twin Peaks 44DD."


BaronessK 53F

7/17/2006 4:10 am

My next posts were supposed to have been, in some sort of order, the one about Bitches {etcetera} that I have been working on {but it's not finished} and the songs, rewritten, for certain people because of their personalities and handles {which I finish as soon as I think about it and find the right song, but I want to do all of them at the same time...and so, they're not finished, technically}. What I have in mind...is one about blowjobs! I have just joined a new club, called Oral Fixation Group...and I want to start it out with a 'bang'...sort of! That, and I would have a 'reason' to post another one of those pictures that I like so much...ya know, the one of me...well, you'll see, if you haven't figured it out! Later....


BaronessK 53F

7/17/2006 12:59 pm

    Quoting skyking412004:
    _____I like ..."The Other Side of the Looking Glass, or, Twin Peaks 44DD."
I wasn't really thinking about changing it, Sky! It figures that you'd like the twin thing...which is actually a handle I saw once {still talk to her on messenger, in fact, from that chat room -- known her about 6 years or more now!}. I wonder why your comment didn't show up when I was posting mine...besides the fact that the site is slow and all?


wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
7/17/2006 4:41 pm

I would pick the "lead me not" title. I thought about changing the title of mine but I'm always getting started on a new subject. (opposite of don't get me started)

Wild

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
7/17/2006 9:58 pm

All that fucking rambling woman just to let us know you are a nosy bastard. Secret: We knew.
Shakespeare??? Ya think we'd look here?? Fuck me, delusions of grandeur or what

Title???

BALLSY BITCHES BROWBEATING BLOG

Has a kinda ring to it


BaronessK 53F

7/17/2006 10:56 pm

    Quoting wildoats19622:
    I would pick the "lead me not" title. I thought about changing the title of mine but I'm always getting started on a new subject. (opposite of don't get me started)

    Wild
Then change the title to something like I did {segue}...so when you change the subject, they can't say a damn thing! Let's see...and then there was this time...on the other hand...on my way to the forum...and then there was this time...I got to thinking...Uh oh, I forgot.... Feel free to use any of those! I am soooo helpful!


BaronessK 53F

7/17/2006 11:12 pm

    Quoting funintheday2006:
    All that fucking rambling woman just to let us know you are a nosy bastard. Secret: We knew.
    Shakespeare??? Ya think we'd look here?? Fuck me, delusions of grandeur or what

    Title???

    BALLSY BITCHES BROWBEATING BLOG

    Has a kinda ring to it
I am not a nosy bastard, git, I am a nosy Baroness Bitch...when it's psychological...okay, and sometimes nekky, of course. I have grand delusions, not delusions of grandeur, wank you very much! Oooohhhh, fuck you, is it? Bring it on, baby...you MIGHT survive it! {Hell, you wouldn't make it past the Baroness' blowjob! } And I got ya ring...lead ya Brit git self around by the junior! July 4th ring a bell? Still, ya are sorta cute...in that stiff upper lip, sexless sort of British guy way!


intierzha 45M

7/18/2006 1:56 am

I prefer The Iliad myself, but that could be the military historian in me.

My sister my prefer the 'Searching for Key Largo' or 'Twin Peaks 44dd' because she loves Florida and Twin Peaks. I would go with 'Using the Force', as any Star Wars fan should

C.


BaronessK 53F

7/18/2006 4:20 am

    Quoting intierzha:
    I prefer The Iliad myself, but that could be the military historian in me.

    My sister my prefer the 'Searching for Key Largo' or 'Twin Peaks 44dd' because she loves Florida and Twin Peaks. I would go with 'Using the Force', as any Star Wars fan should

    C.
What, no Picasso nekky pics? Or is that why you like anime so much? The Searching for Key Largo is the 'indefinable it'...and I use it as a handle and I am also a big Bogie and Bacall fan. As for the TwinPeaks44DD, she informed me the other day that it was in fact 42DD...and with the weight loss now 38 {cup size unasked! }; but she uses it as a handle in a couple of chat places. I thought maybe you would like something like, Geeking It Good!


complexlysimple 35M

7/18/2006 6:00 pm

hold your horses there ..sad, closing off?? WFT?

na if anything I get bored repeating myself I generally don't like using sayings -any sayings- more than once it's such a big world with so many possibilities why use just one thing more than you have to?

so I suppose closing off is somewhat fair ...which could be sad in a way ...but there's also the fact that sometimes one thing needs to be set down before another can be picked up .. we are human after all and there does appear to be at least some limitations to what we're all capable of ... though I'm not sure what...


brute472 75M
3480 posts
7/18/2006 10:07 pm

Thanks Baroness I thought that was one of the best blogs I have read recently very revealing, neat.


BaronessK 53F

7/19/2006 4:21 am

    Quoting complexlysimple:
    hold your horses there ..sad, closing off?? WFT?

    na if anything I get bored repeating myself I generally don't like using sayings -any sayings- more than once it's such a big world with so many possibilities why use just one thing more than you have to?

    so I suppose closing off is somewhat fair ...which could be sad in a way ...but there's also the fact that sometimes one thing needs to be set down before another can be picked up .. we are human after all and there does appear to be at least some limitations to what we're all capable of ... though I'm not sure what...
Ah, I read too much into the statement, then? You have seemed a bit 'down' lately, though.... I have a couple of sayings that I like to use {Because of and in spite of, etcetera}, but that's me. There are limitations to what we are capable of? Says who? {Believe in yourself, not platitudes and others' attitudes!}


BaronessK 53F

7/19/2006 4:26 am

    Quoting brute472:
    Thanks Baroness I thought that was one of the best blogs I have read recently very revealing, neat.
Was it revealing, Brute? Damn...I'll remember to write more 'fluff'! {Thanks.}


goboi_go 57M

7/19/2006 7:17 am

How about "Talk To the Hand, Fool"..? I heard that one on Jerry Springer. God damn its so hot here I don't feel like doing anything. Isn't it latitudes and attitudes? In college I got my girlfriend to get Jimmy Buffet to autograph my bong. She was a lifeguard at the hotel he was staying in for local concert. He said he never did that before. He wrote, "The Jimmy Buffett Bong" and then signed it. That was 25 yrs ago. I still have it but you can barely make it out. Once, she had to say something to James Taylor about flinging ice cubes in the pool with his spoon during an interview. ha


BaronessK 53F

7/19/2006 8:28 am

    Quoting goboi_go:
    How about "Talk To the Hand, Fool"..? I heard that one on Jerry Springer. God damn its so hot here I don't feel like doing anything. Isn't it latitudes and attitudes? In college I got my girlfriend to get Jimmy Buffet to autograph my bong. She was a lifeguard at the hotel he was staying in for local concert. He said he never did that before. He wrote, "The Jimmy Buffett Bong" and then signed it. That was 25 yrs ago. I still have it but you can barely make it out. Once, she had to say something to James Taylor about flinging ice cubes in the pool with his spoon during an interview. ha
Why did you keep using a signed anything, ya goober? No quotes or comeons or anything today...I'm soooo sleepy! Pool? Nekky in pool? Hot getting 'hot' in pool nekky? {I know...and what's 'sad' is that's the best I can think of after being up for so long! }


BaronessK 53F

7/19/2006 7:02 pm

    Quoting Wordsmith2004:
    Because I have a deep psychological need to 'delve' into the psyche of others; blogs and comments are an excellent way to do that.

    UT OHHH....my "goose" is coooked then....with fava beans and a nice canati to boot!

    Because I like the interaction; even 'fucktards' give me a venue to 'rip' into someone {and every now and then...come on, like y'all didn't guess already...I ENJOY it!}

    Fucktard? Hmmm...and WHAT page would I find that on in my oh-so-fantabulous Oxford English Dictionary??

    And you thought you were weird....

    Fuck.



    Can I get that on a tee-shirt please? with FUCK in like, 60 point san serif gothic type too? LOL

    That's not sexual harassment; I can show you sexual harassment.

    Promise?

    Twin Peaks 44DD

    When David Lynch finally breaks down and breaks into ponografia!!!

    It's 3 O'clock in the morning, and it looks like it's going to be another sleepless night.

    No no, sleepless MORNING...everything after midnight and when the cute Mogwais become slimey gremlins goes into the morning column....yeap yeap!

    Well, it's 3 in the morning...whadya want, the Odyssey, Shakespeare, a Picasso in words?!

    Heck no....I expected Tolstoy dagnabit!! War and f'kn Peace!! And I want the script stacked so high I can use it as a furniture "fuck cube" and rest thy "twin peaks"

    Well when "Senor Eraserhead" gits finished with them!!
You'd like your 'goose cooked', hun...just have to find the right 'marination' and 'heat setting'!

Fucktard is most likely in something like urbandictionary!

I'll have you the FUCK printed up along with djeeper's! Do we need to put a . or ! or a ? or even a please on it?

Depends on your stamina whether it's a promise or a threat!

Didn't Lynch already do that, basically?

Not in Baroness Time, darlin'...it's still 'today'/'tonight' until I go to sleep...and that could, partially, explain why I talk about "long days"!

I liked War and Peace -- took me a bit longer to read it than most books, of course...about 3 and a half weeks, but I was going to school at the time.

I am really into DIY/construction stuff...I can make you one of those!

Senor Eraserhead? Hmmmm.... {I really need to quit commenting for a while, and reading other blogs and everything...so that I can get to the blow job post I promised the Oral Fixation group! }


I don't know whether to believe a guy...who's claiming his name is 'smith'! You do have really nice ass...ets!


BaronessK 53F

7/20/2006 4:06 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    How about..The Baroness's Blow's your Blogging mind Blog?
Good one, mzhuny, but ya know what the guy's are going to think about when they see the word blow...and it ain't their minds! I wasn't seriously considering changing it anyway, was just playing around at the end of a posting...actually trying to segue into a blow job post, in fact!


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