Spoofing pix and other goofy stuff  

Barbiebunny69 44F
1457 posts
6/27/2005 2:33 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Spoofing pix and other goofy stuff

Ok here's my tribute pic to lapkin4u LAPKIN4U
Sure she did it better, but im now on a goofy quest to mimic some of the famous pics on AdultFriendFinder.

I came up with this as I cant sleep again and my kidney infection really damn hurts tonight. I'm off to the docs tomorrow.. again.. but maybe this is deliriousness.. So chalk it up as that before u get your panties in a wad.

Terminal seriousness is a horrible disease.

And to make u laugh ill share some more of my anon goofy sex stories...

I threw my lower back out having sex with a woman I could bend like gumby. Landed me in traction for 3 weeks.

Went on a date with a cowboy and met him at a rodeo arena. I wore flip flops. Went into the cow pasture where the horses were being kept and fell into an old dried up muddy hole made by a sunken hoof. My ass landed into horseshit too. Was the crappiest date ever. (literally)

Acted like a hot ass smarty pants in front of the maid in a swanky hotel accusing them of stealing one of my bunnyslippers.... when my skirt was tucked in my fishnet underwear after going to the bathroom.

ok what's your stories?

keithcancook 61M
17930 posts
6/27/2005 7:55 am

I am sure I must have something to add here, but I cannot think from laughing so hard as I picture you wagging that bunny paw at that maid! LMAO!

Lapkin4u 43F

6/27/2005 8:12 am

Famous Pics? Hmmmm..... not sure about that, but thanks for thinking of me bunny! As for the dates I'm gonna have to think about that for a minute. Much Love!


cajunpet 71M
1185 posts
6/27/2005 8:19 am

Sorry to hear about your kidney infection. I guess you know to drink lots of water, and cranberry juice.

Had a quick date after coming back from working in Mexico, at a rest stop, and got attacked by hundreds of fleas while laying on a blanket. Talk about coitus interruptus. They just attacked me, because my feet was off the blanket.

Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet

Lapkin4u 43F

6/27/2005 5:24 pm

After much thought and deliberation this is all I could come up with......Blind date...first meeting...we are having a nice chat in a resturant and I'm trying to be cutesy...I go to take a drink of my Pepsi and fling the straw out of my glass and Pepsi up my nose.....Yeah! That was smooth....it was good for a laugh anyway...I laughed he didn't.LOL.

Barbiebunny69 44F

6/27/2005 5:57 pm

Oh Lapkin u got off so easy.. I was trying to walk thru a swanky hotel all slick and didnt see the potted palm tree plant and mowed it right down...then i stopped and yelled at the doorman.."DID u see that?! That palm tree tried to eat me!"

purejoy4fem 47F/45F
682 posts
6/27/2005 6:09 pm

At a bar a few years back, chatting with a cute young thing, poked my eye with the swizle stick/straw and actually scratched my lens. Very suave.

EroticallyRapt 56M
336 posts
6/27/2005 11:29 pm

Sorry to hear you're under the weather, Barbiebunny69. Get well, soon! Hmm, embarassing moments... nope, can't think of any. REALLY!


pusskins2000 42F

6/28/2005 3:06 pm

Hi Barbie, yes it would be a pleasure to bend over for you, now we just need to figure out where, when and do you like me now? That's why we're collecting names and e data for live parties. Hope you get in on it and crack my y code as you are the kind of girl I like. Up front and bold. Hope you are enjoying my blogity blog. My next one is about a doctor we went to and yes somewhat embare assed.

JudeL5 47M  
1595 posts
6/28/2005 6:09 pm

I was staying at a hotel downtown for my anniverary.... having a morning romp before breakfast and wouldn't you know it... the fire alarm went off! We scrambled to put something on, went down several flights of stairs, to the lobby to find out that a water pressure sensor wasn't working and had set it off. We got to sit and smirk in the lobby until they gave the all clear. All good fun

bigstguynroom 46M
30 posts
6/28/2005 7:13 pm

So I'm on a first date with a knock-out blonde at a very swanky Socal restaurant. I'm totally cool, wearing my lucky white sweater - the one with the expensive material that drapes perfectly highlighting my shoulders and pecks (I loved that sweater). Conversation is going good; I'm making her laugh, everything was perfect! Until I ordered that damned new york steak with that sauce. It was so good. I was loving every bite and almost forgetting about the girl. Then I don't know how it happened. My fork just missed and the bite of meat just kind of flopped over in that damned sauce. How could it splatter so completely? I don't think any part of me above the table was missed - chest, shoulders and sleeves were all covered with brown little spots. I probably spent the next half hour in the bathroom trying, in vain, to clean up (kind of gay I know...but this was my lucky white sweater!!!) Finally I returned to a very bored date and asked, "do you mind eating with a slob" and she said "yes!" She was smiling but I said "fuck it," took off the sweater and threw on the floor right there in the swanky restaurant. Nobody said a thing to me as we finished our dinner. We even had dessert and coffee. The girl only lasted a few more dates and I'm OK with that, but damn do I miss that sweater!

Apolybear 55M

6/28/2005 8:40 pm

Bunny, try taking some garlic supplements for that kidney infection. It's nature's anti-biotic and wont hinder anything else your taking for it.

Also, don't overlook the spiritual origins of health issues. The mind, body spirit connection...

Kidney issues can result from being overly critical and judgemental about someone or something. Meditation can be very helpful in letting go of those energies.

I hope you feel better.

Gunslinger1954 63M

6/29/2005 6:45 am

Here's my latest in a long running string of embarrasing moments.

Giving a presentation to about 100 people.

Noticing some men and women kind of smiling and whispering to one another.

Noticing they were looking in the direction of my crotch.

As I'm talking away I start thinking about the blowjob I got shortly before the meeting.

Hmmmm... I'm wearing light kahki pants and a long sleeve dress shirt.

Was she wearing red lipstick?

Hmmmm... Don't make the mistake of looking at your own crotch during a presentation in front of 100 people.

Make a joke about making serious preparations for presentations and bring down the house.

Now I know for sure there is lipstick on the front of my pants.

Damn it! Oh, well might as well just accept it and keep going.

Last line of the presentation: Anybody got a kleenex?

Brought down the house again.

My boss after the meeting: Tell me; how can you keep stepping in shit and come out smelling like roses? And who's lipstick is that anyway? Nevermind.... I don't think I want to know....

rm_RandomXS2 63M
88 posts
6/29/2005 7:21 am

First off, you should know better than to play with cowboys - Cows+Boys - never a good matchup! There's a reason they're not called cowmen.

One of my better moments was spending the day at the lake with the date...we had a bunch of fun but spent WAY too much time in the Oklahoma sun - we could have saved ourselves some time and just spent a couple of hours in a toaster oven. I'm pretty sure we invented some new and fascinating shades of red. Went back to the place and bumped the only parts NOT sunburned together. New experiences in pain - we're sorta going...gee, is it possible to have sex without actually touching each other????

Check your local listings for "When Palm Trees Attack!" LMAO I HATE it when that happens!

rm_pchamp012004 56M
2672 posts
6/29/2005 7:48 am

Embarrassing moments, there are many....but I'm too embarrased to mention them

Barbiebunny69 44F

6/29/2005 9:36 am

Bear ty for the advice..however i know where these issues are coming from..its my path alone.

GleesFlakyShawl 51M
1620 posts
6/29/2005 10:29 am

bunny i just stopped to say hi and i like ur new pic.....

Barbiebunny69 44F

6/29/2005 2:49 pm

thanks Dz Sweetie SMOOCH

Yep its official i got kidney stones..so much for the esoteric explanation, lol

anyone else have/had em?


mnfun952 103M

6/29/2005 4:53 pm

Kidney Stones hurt like freakin' HELL. I'm so sorry you have to go through it. True, it's different for everyone, but a good friend of mine had them and this is a guy who could go mountain biking straight down a mountain, hit a rock, go ass over face into a cactus patch and pop up laughing... the kidney stones had him doubled over with tears in his eyes as I drove him to the emergency room. Feel better soon bunny.. and stick to carrots!


Barbiebunny69 44F

6/29/2005 10:42 pm

Gunslinger..OMG what shade was that?? wink

PCchamp..comeon just ONEEE for a lil hurtin bunzzy wunnsy

Random ..LMAO"when palm trees attack" will be airing this fall..followed by the hairclip diaries.

Jude..i be tu can move fast! Lol

Big..ive soo been there on ruining the shirt I feel for ya as a fashionista..

Pusskins..Ill crack more than your code...**snapps riding crop**

ER==Phuleesee more stories to take my mind off thigs....nice moon

Purejoy..ure still Ms Jaymes bond to me! I bet u made that sessy.

Mnfun--Lordy this really sucks. I mean bad...U right about the pain good thing i tolerate it well but still its making my back buckle so its hard to walk..I need carrots in bed!!! Thanks god for pain killers.

SeekingFun337 65M/61F
657 posts
6/30/2005 8:29 am

Kidney stones... pain indescribable... Don't know what your Dr. is helping you with other than pain meds, but they can use ultrasound to break up the larger ones... If you've ever seen one of the calcium stones, it is easy to understand why they are no fun... at all. I know your Dr. is helping, but if you don't have progress, and the pain stays for a long time, you should seek additional help. The extreme pain is primarily from when the stone stops moving, and pressure in the kidney goes up... OUUUUCH!!!
You're a sweet bunny,,, and, I feeeeel your pain.... If you want to try and prevent them, and, most are calcium based, Cajun is right about drinking LOTS and LOTS of water, and cranberry juice. Much more than the average person. Stay seriously hydrated. Also, if you like coffee, or ice/hot tea (other than green tea, which is good for you), avoid milk products like the plague. There is a chemical bonding which goes on between the calcium in the milk products and a chemical in the coffee/tea which creates the stone in people who tend to get them. Some research indicates there is an enzyme missing which leads to this ability to create the little buggers.

It's hard to describe to anyone who hasn't experienced one, but it really eliminates any ability to do anything but deal with the pain.

The main reason Cranberries are good for this, is they are pH neutral, and create a healthy environment for the kidney to function.

I was concerned when I read kidney infection. If you are not in the hospital, I assume the Dr. thinks they are small, and will leave you in good time naturally.

Oh, the pain thing, yes, Bunny, no one can really describe it unless they've been there... sort of like lightning striking you in the back, but worse...

Be sure to get back to your Dr. if the pain is constant, and does not subside to prevent kidney damage.

I have some amusing stories about kidney stones, but have blogged to far.

Therapy, get out your cat of nine tails, and beat on something, even the couch pillow when the pain is intense... might help,, at least, it will transfer some of the agony... poor couch pillow.... Wish I could be there to rub your back, and help... (and, not for male/fem reasons) because I know this stuff is rough...

rm_pchamp012004 56M
2672 posts
6/30/2005 10:24 am

Ok, for you bunzzy wunnsy anything. I was on vacation, after high school on Grand Turk Island. It was morning, about 10 AM and I was poolside with quite a few of my school chums. We decided to have a diving contest, and on my first dive (which I announced loudly to draw everyones attention), I dove right out of my swimsuit when I hit the water. Now there were a couple of girls there that I was looking to impress, but not in that way.

Only you could get that out of me

Jerosd 48M

6/30/2005 2:21 pm

never did anything wrong in my life....as if...lol

Barbiebunny69 44F

6/30/2005 5:43 pm

Seeking--more stories!! thanks for the info! I appreciate it

Purr PCchamp.. thanks sooo much ill show u how much someday... i would have retrieved your trunks in my teeth

Jerosd--U i bet of all "mr soap" would have some of the best stories..my bunny sense is tingling...

Jerosd 48M

7/1/2005 4:00 pm

AdultFriendFinder that does bring back memories...lol

SeekingFun337 65M/61F
657 posts
7/1/2005 4:07 pm

Just thought of something I meant to tell you.. You see lots of advertisements/medical advise about how important it is for calcium in a woman's diet.. and, it is important. But... with kidney stones, you need to be sure any calcium supplement you are taking, or take in the future, also has magnesium. Magnesium helps the body eliminate excess calcium, and this balance can help you prevent reoccuring stones. However, you should not just take a magnesium supplement alone, as it can mess up your electolites...

Now, think about me bringing you some hot towels, and placing them on your back, massaging the back of your neck, and shoulder blades, then massaging your feet, calves, hands, and arms, and then just letting you drift off to sleep, while I change those hot towels,

Yes, I am smart enough to hide the cat o 9 tails while ur sleeping.. or do I .... Take care...

rm_major259 51M
101 posts
7/1/2005 11:20 pm

I was working on a new residential construction site. Putting in finishing trim. There was an empty socket on the extension cord so I bought my cd player in and cranked up the BeeGees. I was really into it, doing my best Barry Gibb impression to "Nights on Broadway" and a beautiful woman stepped around the corner and applauded. Apparently my contractor buddy had seen her working in her yard and she needed a couple of boards cut so he sent her down the street to me. She had been listening around the corner for about 5 minutes.

Barbiebunny69 44F

7/3/2005 1:09 am

BeeGees...F'n Brilliant!

Seeking.. put my ass on a pillow rub my neck and bend over my lap **pulls small pink whip out from her pillow**

now go get me some bon bons and some cranberry juice.

SeekingFun337 65M/61F
657 posts
7/5/2005 8:36 am

With pleasure... Bunny...

Bon bons in a glass bowl, in a larger glass bowl with ice (no melting), and cranberry juice in a champagne glass, chilled to perfection... Placing you back with your tummy on the pillows, I grasp you just below the ribs, and let my hands, and thumbs grip, and run along your sides, with my thumbs smooting out the skin, and muscles next to your lower spine, down to your hips, releasing, all that tension in your lower back,.... and replacing it with tension in a nether region ... Oh, be careful with that whip... or ... not...

Take care... Enjoy you, and your "whipsical ... fun", and the images are great fun, too.

Seriously, take care of yourself. Anyone who has experienced one kidney stone, definitly would not want to repeat the experience.

Now, guess where my hands are... NO, not there... massaging your calfs..

rm_Jimmerrr 57M
2 posts
7/5/2005 1:55 pm

I really you're feeling better today. I know pain medication is the standard for dealing with pain, but I think a little diversion can far exceed what any valuim could hope for. You know the right touch here, the right touch there....something to think about??

SeekingFun337 65M/61F
657 posts
7/8/2005 8:53 am

It's not a true story, but ...

Couple meets in the grocery store, passion obvious, so they agree to a date Friday night. All goes well, passionate glances, hand holding, both haven't made love in a long time, so the sexual tension is extreme... Get back to her place, and he accepts her invite to come inside... Needless to say, as soon as they sit on the couch, the passion gives way to action, and afterwards, as they are laying next to each other, he tells her "Wow, that was the best sex, you are the tightest woman I have ever met, I almost couldn't believe it", to which she replies, "Thank you, and, next time, I hope we have time to take off my panty hose"......

Become a member to create a blog