BDSM  

BDrew5 56M
44 posts
6/14/2006 8:23 pm

Last Read:
1/28/2007 1:58 pm

BDSM


Well, this is a huge topic, but the focus here is for me to express my perspective and personal place in the BDSM world - more specifically as it relates to sex, not the lifestyle as a whole.

It seems many people have many ideas of what it all means. And, while it does cover alot of ground, to me it means something a bit more specific.

I came face to face with it many years ago online - chasing some girl to a chatsite *Laugh*. I stuck around because the form and function of the site was good, but moreover because sex was right out there as a topic. To be discussed openly or privately and the topics were many and varied.

Sure I was there to get some visceral and vicarious thrills ... but what it seemed it advanced was against what I was taught and told growing up. I've always been the consummate gentleman. From holding the door to respecting the word "no" completely. Yes, always the nice guy. And here men were to be ... aggressive, assertive, and in control - at least the Dominant men (of course, women can be Dominant as well, so forgive my presenting this from an all-male perspective as it is my perspective *Smiles*). Oftentimes they were rude, degrading, openly abusive. This was all shocking and made me very uncomfortable - let alone very angry that they'd behave that way and treat a woman so.

It's taken many years and alot of trying things on, if you will, in a virtual world. But I've come to understand it doesn't have to be that way. I've also come to understand that some crave, even need some of the worst kind of treatment. But that's not me. Nor will it ever be, I don't believe.

Yes, it's about being in control. But that ultimate respect of her is still there. I can be gentled and be Dominant. I can direct and be in charge without being utterly abusive.

I've found my "limits" continue to stretch. Things I didn't think I'd like now I'm much more curious about if not ... turned on by. But what it's all about to me, also, is ultimately turning her on. Driving her nuts with desire, arousal, and ultimate satisfaction.

Bondage is simply the means to the end of keeping her ... under my use and intentions. For instance toys ... spanking if it's mutually agreeable, wax play, crop, flogger - again, if agreeable. And these activities needn't all even happen in order for it to be a great time for all. It's very unique to the Dominant and the submissive. They need to find some common, stimulating ground to work from.

The horror stories of what is essentially ... bother me greatly. A real man doesn't need that nor get enjoyment from that. Now if both agree then ... go for it, I suppose. It may not be what some of us want to see or know about but consenting adults behind closed doors, right?

Dominance is in a personality or it isn't. I found out mine was there, and natural, and it actually agreed with what I'd become as a male adult. It just needed, and still needs wings.

It all begins with trust and communications. One Dominant's style may not agree with another submissives style. There should be no judging either way. But respect is utmost.

Utmost.

Read My Blog: BDrew5 and find Me as DeliberateHand


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