AzCdKayle 62T
24 posts
2/26/2006 7:28 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Yesterday was the first anniversary of my mothers passing from lung cancer.

As I sit back and look at her picture I was stuck my the change in her and how cancer took her look and aged her.

Ever since I was a child and into my early 20's I always thought of my mother being 32 years old and looking so beautiful. I know that wasn't true, but to me it was.

Since I was out of the military in 1981 and adjusting to civilian life which brought me to Arizona because of the dry climate, I always called her at least once a month sometimes twice. My mother helped me more than a few times. But I never really went home to see her that much, alot of it was financial reasons and as I think back to those times, I never really tried to save up for a visit.

My mother always looked beautiful and very classy, I get my style of dress from her. She always had everything match as much as possible, shoes, jewelry and purses to go with dresses and skirts and blouses, I was always so proud of my mothers taste.

When I did go home to see her it was around Christmas time because it was always a big affair with her, to see her and the rest of the family and the grand kids, my two daughters never came to these events. My mother would always have two christmas trees, one upstairs and one downstairs with gifts under both trees. When I didn't come home my mother would send me a care box with my gifts and all kinds of goodies, the home bake bread, my favorite was zucchini bread, man that was sooo good.

This past Christmas was very upsetting for me, I missed her so much. I still have her phone number in my cell phone directory and I look at her picture daily.

The last time I saw her was when I flew home just before she past. I was able to tell her that I loved her so very much and told her that she will be in good hands and will see our grandfather and her mom our grandmother and also our dad. Later I was stuck by her condition, she was so old and was struggling for breath and seeing her laying there with the oxygen mask on. To this day I never want to see something like that again, it was so troubling to me.

I will always remember my mother being her youthful self classy and very well dress and yes she will be 32 in my eyes. I have her youthful picture on my desk at work with my dad and daughter plus the last Christmas decoration I got on my gift. I say good morning to her and dad most of the time and also good night when I leave.

I love you mom and you will always be in my heart and soul, you are missed.

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